Just A Dream ch. 4

         After school, I rushed to Timothy's house with all speed. Mother would not have approved of my running in a dress. It made me giddy to secretly disobey her publicly.

         When I arrived, I saw that he had also just arrived. "Timothy!" I called, "Timothy! Timothy, come here!"

         He strode over and said, "What's all your shouting about?"

         I grinned, "You will love me forever."

         "Oh, sure, because I was only planning on loving you for another week or so."

         "Kid all you want, you'll regret it after I've told you my news."

         "Gossip?"

         I nodded, "Oh no, much better."

         "Better than gossip? I can't wait to hear this."

         I knew that he was going to be thrilled. "I saw Esmeralda today and I befriended her just as I said I would. Then, I asked her if she knew you."

         He was like a little school boy who couldn't wait to see the results of his test. "And? What did she say?"

         "She said that she knew of you, but that you two have never spoken a word to each other."

         His stunned expression did well to amuse me. "But we've spoken twelve words to each other. It breaks my heart that she doesn't remember." He took a moment to pity himself in such the dramatic way, then he said, "No matter. My love for her will not whither with a few forgotten words."

         "Oh? Perhaps then your love can grow even more when you speak more words to her." My slyness had him hanging on everything I said.

         "What do you mean by this?" I was so sure that he would attack me at any given moment to get all of the details out of me.

         "I asked Esmeralda to spend an afternoon with us."

         "Us?"

         "Me and you, silly."

         He was dumbfounded, lost of all reasonable expression to wear on his face. He didn't know how to react, if he should even believe me. When I proved the merit of this truth, it still took him a while to soak in what was going to happen. "You?"

         "Yes."

         "Me?"

         "Yes."

         "And Esmeralda?"

         "Yes." His loud yell showed all the excitement that he had been hiding. He took my arms and had me dance with him as he sang loudly and horribly. That silly boy. Then he suddenly wrapped his arms around me, picked me up, and twirled me around. "I love you!" he shouted. When he put me back down he planted a big kiss on my cheek.

         "Timothy, stop it. You're embarrassing me." I couldn't help but blush when he kissed me. I don't know why I get this way around him sometimes. His overly friendly gestures flatter me too much. Perhaps it would be different if he were this way with all the girls in town, but he chooses to act this way with me only. Many of my friends say Timothy loves me, but I am quick to tell them that he fancies another. Of course, they don’t believe me.

         He finally stopped all of his flattering. “When are we to meet with her?” I gave him the details of this meeting and he was more enthralled. “Have I mentioned that I love you more than any other girl in the world?”

         I couldn’t help but giggle at his excitement. “Why yes, you did mention something of the sort, but I do like to hear nice things.” He embraced me once more when I heard my sister calling for me. “Bye Timothy. This sounds urgent.”

         “Farewell my love!” he shouted as I ran off.

         My sister was waiting for me on the porch, but she quickly grabbed my hand and ran with me to her room.

         “Sister, what is this all about?” I noticed something unusual about her today. Was she… smiling?”

         “I should be asking you the same question.” She was smiling! Why? She didn’t even want to leave her room yesterday, and now she was out and about… smiling!

         “What do you mean?” I asked her.

         “Don’t hide secrets from me, Sister. The whole town heard Timothy shouting that he loved you.” Oh no. People heard that?

         “Helen, you can’t think that he was serious. He was happy that I set up a date for him and the girl he likes.”

         “Please stop being so naïve. Everyone knows that Timothy has loved you since he was nine.” That’s the year we met. We were just kids then, and now we’re such good friends. It can’t be true that he has ever loved me the way she says.

         “That’s not true. I don’t understand why you insist on this.”

         “Because it is true.”

         “But he doesn’t love me and I don’t love him. I love another.” I didn’t mean to add that last part. She’s smiling more.

         “Another? Who else could this be? I’ve only seen you spend most of your time with Timothy. Does he go to your school?”

         “It’s not important who this other is. Can we discuss something else?”

         “No.” My sister, so persistent and stubborn! “Who is he?”

         I felt so pressured under her insistent stare that I couldn’t ignore the question. “He’s the man of my dreams. He’s wonderful and beautiful.”

         Now I was smiling and she noticed it. “You are in love. I must know more. Tell me everything.” Her face lit up with excitement. I still couldn’t understand why she was so happy today and wanting to hear of love.

         I was hesitant before I spoke. What exactly would I tell her? That the man I’m in love with does not exist? She would never understand. I thought of Lida. Of all my friends, she would understand better than anyone. I missed her.

         My sister’s voice brought me back from my digression, “Elana!”

         “He… He’s romantic. He loves me and he is such the gentleman. I feel safe whenever I’m near him and I know that he will protect me from any harm. He… Yes, I love him. How could I not? He makes me feel like no one has ever made me feel before. He takes me to such magical and mysterious places. And his eyes… I get lost in them. Oh how I love his eyes. I’d be happy to die tomorrow if his eyes were the last things I saw.”

         She laughed a little, “Dramatic aren’t we? But I do say that it is nice for my little sister to be in love and to have a man love her. What’s it like when he holds you?”

         This question took me aback. I wasn’t expecting her to ask such a thing. “He’s never held me.”

         “Surely you have hugged one another, embraced at least once?”

         “No.”

         Her brows furrowed in confusion, “Has he held your hand? Have you kissed?”

         “Neither.”

         “Has he touched you at all?” She was deeply astonished by my answers.

         This last question left me thinking. No, we haven’t touched. I don’t know if he’s real. I just feel it in my heart. But how I long for physical contact. If only I could put but one finger on his face that would suffice. To embrace him would be the most wonderful thing in the world. “No,” I finally answered.

         Surprisingly, my sister was saddened by this, “Why not?”

         I shrugged not really able to give her an absolute answer.

         She looked at me with such sister concerned pity. She took my hand, “Touch is what keeps relationships alive. If partners do not hold hands or embrace once in a while, it leaves both in pain and in wanting. It is what keeps me so attached to…”

         I knew what name she would say. Again she smiled, but this time to herself. I could not understand why. He had called off their engagement. “What happened with Robert? Why are you so happy today, but so dreadfully upset just yesterday?”

         That smile wouldn’t cease to play on her face. It was a trickster that appeared and left at its own will and not my sister’s. She answered, “He came to me.”

         Her words reminded me of all the times that Ian has come to me in my dreams.

         “He knocked on the door and apologized to Father. He then asked to see me. Of course I wouldn’t leave my room, but he spoke to me through the door. He said that he was sorry. He had made such a horrible mistake. He thought that he was too young for marriage so hardly gave it any thought, but when he thought about it, he actually realized something. He loves me and will only be with me for the rest of his life. I opened the door to let him in. He hugged me and held me so close while I cried so much. I missed him. Then he kissed me so passionately as if we had spent years apart, not mere days. I looked so wretched since I was cooped in my room all day crying. He still said I was beautiful. Robert is really a marvelous man. Father and Mother both gave us their blessings and consent.”

         Now I was astonished. This man had broken her heart, made her miserable, and now she was marrying him? I couldn’t understand why she would do that after the way he hurt her. Still, I couldn’t say anything against my sister. She was older and more mature. She would never listen or care if I didn’t consent to her marriage.

         Then she said something shocking, “I wish that you could have this and more. It is so amazing to be in love. I want you to be happy and feel the things I do, all of it.” I only partially knew what she meant.

         All of what she felt? I never wanted to experience such pain as she. I couldn’t believe she would want that for me. But… I did want to physically feel what she did. Ian could not give me this. Oh how I wanted so much to simply be held and hugged by him.

         “I do not wish to have what you have,” I told her.

         She smiled to herself. She was glowing, “You’ll understand one day. Feeling all that I feel is… like being in a dream where everything is perfect.” I understood that at least. Everything was perfect with Ian in my dream. She continued, “He is warm and comforting. When he holds me, we are in our own wonderful world. Nothing else exists.” Her cheeks turned crimson when she said this next part, “And when his lips meet mine, it is the best sensation I have ever felt. It is not because it’s nice to be kissed, it’s the way he kisses me. I can feel his love for me through his lips, his kiss. Every time he takes hold of my hand or whispers pretty compliments in my ear, I am always reminded of how much I am loved by him.”

         She sounded so happy when she spoke of him, but just yesterday this same voice was barely audible through her tears. I refused to believe her nonsense.