Annual forum on sexuality ends in uproar

By:
Isay Fockem
Editor-‘n I chief


-Atlanta, Ga. When members of Hold My Mule in Jerusalem Baptist Church agreed to sponsor the annual “Save All God’s Black Children” forum, they were not prepared to experience what has been identified as the second shock of their lives (see Teen Can't Sing available on youtube.com for first shock of their lives) when it was revealed that men had sex with men, and consequently, their third shock when they
found out that men actually enjoyed having sex with men.

Pastor Jesse Jackson Johnson, who had originally opted to remain mum about his lack of knowledge of hymn lyrics, (“Teen’s inability to sing causes uproar in local community,” Summer 2003) delivered the annual speech geared towards all black children, in which, he repeatedly reminded the audience for an hour and a half that black boys were in danger. The specifics of that danger ranged from witnessing violence to crying “over spilled milk.”

The shocking moments in the evening were when the women in the audience were reminded to refrain from “withholding the pussy” for fear that black boys would seek “not really sex” with other young boys. When questioned about where and how Pastor Jackson Johnson received this information, a young man with a flashy suit and sunglasses, immediately interrupted the speech offering his expertise.

Self-proclaimed “Down Low” expert Damon Christopher Williams Gomez, who has changed his name several times during the evening for fear of exposure, suggested that males having sex with males was not new, however, the “down low” was. Unfortunately, Mr. Gomez Anderson never clearly defined what “down low” meant. Nor, did he explicate the difference between men having sex with men and men on the “down low.”

Yet, after realizing his mistake, Mr. Tyrone (the same flashy gentleman) stated that bisexuality is a reality for some, confusing the reporter and the church as to the relevance of his outbursts. Mr. Male person (Damon, the flashy Down Low expert) that sometimes has sex with men although "I love black women" continued to dispel his
“insight” on this secretive community informing the public that it’s not uncommon to witness him “in a community near you.”

After he was informed that his picture may appear with this article, Mr. Guy (a.k.a. mr. male person, damon, tyrone, etc.) reminded the interviewer that the color of his shirt will throw his “mama ‘n’ ‘em” off because they know that he wouldn’t wear pink in God’s house.

Editor’s note: Mr.(his new name) had other comments and information, in hopes of saving Black women, unfortunately after two entire hours of off- the-subject ranting, the recording tape stopped. The editor didn’t have the heart to reveal to that guy that his comments hadn’t been recorded.

Cassandra Luke, author of "White Folx is always in our Bizness," stated “When I originally arrived to this forum, I knew it would be a hot mess when I saw that damn
Becky sitting on stage”.

When asked who this mysterious “Becky” was, Ms. Luke simply said “a white bitch.”

After being told that this “Becky” was actually a biracial, Black –identified young woman, Ms. Luke simply replied, “oh.” She then continued by reminding the public that white people mess up information on black people and
wondered why black people couldn’t just die in peace. After ending her speech without mentioning anything relevant about Black boys, uh, children, Black women, or anything
that would, at least, theoretically relate to the forum, she yelled, ‘Reparations for Misinformation,” to which she received a standing ovation.

When asked if he believed the rates of HIV in black women were a cause of concern for this ‘down low” behavior, ThatGuy (Mr. Male person's new name) stated, “Well, I don’t know any facts or statistics on anything, but yes, I think it’s a concern and it is most likely the reason women get HIV. That’s why I called every white person in the nation ‘cause I don’t believe in keeping secrets."

Bobby Lee Robinson, a.k.a. “Bunny,” had a different opinion about the link to men who had sex with men and HIV rates in women. She stated, “I goes up to the clinic just ta see if I can get some assistance ‘n dey tells me dat I ain’ qualified for the program cuz I ain’t married to a “cheating dog.” Now ain’ nobody called me and told me that you had to be married to fit into this theory thang cuz most of the folx they was askin’ if they had HIV last week was my folks from roun’ the corna. Now u tell me.”

“Bunny” was, unfortunately, asked to leave after her comments. It was assumed she might steal water from the table outside of the forum.

After security pushed “Bunny” out the door ThatGuy in the “black” (new name) wanted to comment on Bunny’s thoughts, asking, “Did you see how she
was looking at me? I still got it,” while, flirtatiously, winking his eye.

When asked if he thought Black lesbians had any relevant commentary for the “Down Low” discussion, The Black Man in America (previously known as "ThatGuy in the black") revealed that he had never heard of the term “lesbian” and hoped for further expounding on that “erotic” term.

Lucky for him, Loretta Weems, a use-to-be heterosexual, interrupted the dialogue admitting, “Well, I know what a lesbian is and that’s why I’m gonna be one.”

She further commented by saying, “You definitely don’t have to worry about getting a disease being a lesbian because all they do is shop! It’s like being in a nunnery but instead of wearing those big robes, you get to wear Gucci.”

Fortunately, for the sake of credibility of this story and newspaper, one lesbian was found. However, her name and comments were mysteriously misplaced by the time
this story went to print. But, it is our pleasure to report that she is Black.

Before The Black man in America (same flashy guy) could respond to Ms. Weems, Ms. Luke wanted to know why the news reporter was interviewing blacks on “black people’s problems.” Dr. Sue Jones, who had been standing by in fear for her life, revealed to Ms. Luke that there was medical research being conducted by the CDC to assist in the confirmation or denial of the link of HIV in Black women and male-to-male sex.

Ms. Luke responded, wondering if any of the researchers were Black, to which Dr. Jones replied, “Well, affirmative action only requires that we have one Black person on staff and he’s researching the effects of drugs in Black communities, as he has been doing for the past thirty years.”

During the discussion between Ms. Luke and Dr. Jones, Dr. Jones was reportedly “bitch slapped” by The Black Man after she revealed his real name and the fact that he left 17 messages on her answer machine about his knowledge.

Running to Dr. Jones’ rescue, Randy Cox, a man’s man, was accused, by Ms. Luke of being ‘the type of n*gga that would save a white woman over his momma."

To her, he responded that he loved Black women and their ‘blacker than midnight’ skin.

Continuing, he stated, “I can’t understand this phenomenonona thing. How can you want the crack of a man’s ass when you got this black, darker than dark chocolate, colorful, non white, all the colors of the
world, dark as a shadow, too dark to tan looking creature we call the black woman? Just thinking about her skin tone makes my body weak!"

From his comments, it was assumed that Black women’s skin tone possess magical powers that should keep men from having sex with men. Their skin tone, perhaps, also, is the only feature that provides humanity because no other Black heterosexual-identified men could identify any other reasons for why they loved Black women.

Sage Leaf, author of "Black Girl? You know I love that Black ass skin!" reminded the public that all those who have made comments are experts and have the right to speak for every black person’s experience. Well, everyone except Bobby Lee
Robinson, a.k.a. “Bunny.”

Sunni Dream Kali, freelance journalist and acclaimed author of "N*ggas and Flies," stated “It still remains astonishing how we still have not learned how to deal with throwback issues such as the “down low.” There’s a lack of funding for research to really explicate why Black women have higher rates of infection, what social-economic class they belong to, and what their sexual identity is. I don’t even think people believe women have sex. I guess that’s why it is such a shock to know that we can contract and transmit sexual diseases. You have people out here that just that want to make names for themselves because they have alimony to pay and we deem them as people we should listen to. It becomes difficult to really have a dialogue about anything because truthful information is always relative to someone’s experience. Therefore, since we don’t have the same experiences, how do we disperse general information about specific situations?”

Ms. Ida Jenkins, who insisted on being called “Sista Ida Mae,” suddenly interrupted Ms. Kali, accusing all of the commentators of not staying on topic, forcing her to miss an episode of General Hospital.

Shortly after, Ms. Luke took the opportunity to ask Sunni to get off of her soapbox because she was a “light-skinned bitch that don’t know nothing about beautiful black skin," to which Sista Ida Mae replied, “All you bitches get off stage! Forgive me lord! And forgive them, father, for trespassing against me. Let ‘em in your kingdom!”


As this story went to print, nothing was reportedly accomplished. Apparently, Pastor Jesse Jackson Johnson has hopes that next year’s forum will produce change.
However, Pastor Johnson declined to state what that change would be.