Why?

  Mia looked like she'd just climbed out of the Thames when Leo opened the door for her. His brow quirked but he didn't say anything. Stepping aside she hurried past him into the small entrance to his apartment.
  "What happened?" Was his only question when he brushed past her to enter the kitchen. She followed him in a semblance of their usual routine when she showed up at a ridiculous time of night.
  "What makes you think anything happened?" Mia asked innocently. He shook his head as the sounds of the heating kettle filled the silence. It was always this way. She came running to him when ever she was in trouble. Not anyone else. It was always in the middle of the night when they both knew her parents would not understand what she felt. The emptiness she always kept inside. The same feeling that was only quashed after she had taken a long swim in hard liquor, then towelled off in an illicit substance of her choice. He understood what she felt.  He never asked why she was doing what she did. Never had he questioned her motivation to drink so much she couldn't see or take the little white pills that sent her into oblivion. She was jolted into reality when he extended her a clean towel.
  "You're here instead of at home. Asleep." He replied. "Go get dried off you'll get sick dripping like that over the floorboards." She complied with the instructions. It was worse this time. Normally he didn't comment on her appearance unless she did.

  "Do your parents know where you are?" The soft spoken question fell from his lips as she emerged back into the light of the kitchen.
  "Why do you care? You never liked them anyway."  She returned. Leo shot her a warning glance as he pulled canisters from the cupboards above her head. She edged away from him.
  "Look kid. I have nothing against your parents. We may not always get along, but I know they'll be worried about you when they find you've wandered off again."
  "They think I'm sleeping at a friends place." She murmured as she trailed her fingertips over the edge of one of the battered chairs. Leo closed his eyes tightly. Mia could tell he was losing patience with her. She had always been able to read him like a book. From the moment she had first met him at her friend's wake. They could have conversations without words. Up until now that's how it was. For months that's how it was. Never had he asked her to do anything for him. Never had he expected to deal with her problems quickly. Never had he insisted on changing her habits for him.
  "You can't keep doing this." He said quietly. His tone was dangerous and more than a little annoyed. "Not to your parents, not to your friends, not to me and certainly not to yourself."  The smell of green tea fragranced the air as Leo filled the cups with hot water. Mia sat quietly in the clothes he always kept aside for her.  Her head bowed in the first stages of guilt. He always did this for her. No matter the time of day or night, he would keep her company when she needed it. He listened to her when she wanted to talk, and watched over her when she didn't. He would deny it had she asked him directly, but she knew that he had sacrificed a lot of his life to keep her sane.
  "I know." She whispered.
  "Yes. You do." He agreed. "It never changes anything though." He crouched down in front of her and put a hand on her knee. She met his calm, concerned gaze. Never had he been angry with her. He was her silent guardian. A very Zen soul that contemplated things before acting upon the situation at hand. Maybe that was what he had been doing with her for these past few months. "So tell me...Tell me tonight. Starting now. You'll change...make it easier for us. All of us." She stayed silent, letting the calming nature of his deep purr flow over her. "Starting now. You go to school everyday. You put in as much effort as you can. Don't get into fights. Hang around with the right people." His features were rapidly schooled into a controlled expression that gave away nothing of what he was thinking.
  "But they're my friends!" She said defensively. His neutral expression dipped towards a frown. She clammed up.
  "You can't consider people like that to be your friends. They've had you drinking, trying every substance under the sun. It's no way to live kid." Leo said tiredly. She met his gaze once more.
  "Why?" He seemed taken aback by her upfront question. It took him a moment but he responded. Mia knew he would. He was yet to avoid a direct question from her.
  "Because I've been there and done that kid. I've sat in gutter. I've had the bad trips...and trust me, they are all bad trips. You don't want those. You don't need those. You need to go to school and get a real job. Like your parents have." She folded her arms over her chest and stuck her chin out defiantly against the tears that threatened to fall. "Do you want to be pushing thirty and only just getting your head together? Do you?"
  "How can you tell me anything like this Leo?" She asked, her anger suddenly flaring. "Practise what you preach. How old are you?" She knew she had pushed his restraint to the edge when he rose and walked away from her. "Well?" But frankly, she didn't care.
  "Just take my advice kid." He growled.
  "Get a real job?" She asked in a lower volume. When he nodded she snorted. "A boring run of the mill job...yeah?"
  "Yeah." He replied flatly.
  "What about you? Are you going to take you own advice Leo?" He shifted and faced her once more. She knew she had just slipped through the thin ice with her last words.
  "This isn't about me Mia."  He was just tired now. She lowered her gaze from his face again. She knew he didn't want to hurt her any more than she had already hurt herself. "It's about you. I've screwed my life up and I make no excuses for that. You can at least listen to what I'm saying to avoid making the stupid mistakes that I did." He fell silent allowing her to turn his words over in her head.
  "Then what are you saying?" He came back over and sat facing her over the kitchen table. She met and held his gaze, knowing what he was going to say would be something for her to take note of whether or not she agreed with it.
  "I'm saying I was your age once upon a time. I started drinking and popping pills like they were tic-tacs. Only I went further than you. I kept drinking, and snorting crack, smoking weed...what ever else you can think off. The first time I tried Ice I was brushing eighteen. You've seen how I am...." He trailed off and swallowed. His eyes left hers to stare at the tabletop. "I flipped out on it. The people I knew that were taking it, they spent ten hours staring at puddles. I spent ten hours in a violent rage. I killed someone kid."
  "It was just a bad trip." She refused to believe what he was saying. The calm, wonderful person in front of her did not kill someone for no reason.
  "They are all bad trips. Do I need to repeat that?" He replied meeting her gaze head on once more. She felt her tears fighting their way up. She shook her head.
  "You're lying. I need them. They make me numb and I love it."
  "For just how long will it help? Really, you need to address the things that are hurting you. Doing it this way is going to kill you. Maybe not tonight. Maybe not tomorrow. But in a couple of months. Maybe years, you're gonna realise it was a bad mistake from the beginning. But it will be too late to fix it Mia." She abruptly stood up and backed into the countertop, furthest from him. She shook her head violently.
  "No! I can stop anytime I want! It may have happened to you but it won't happen to me! I'm stronger!"
  "You're not stronger than anyone else that's followed the same path as you." He replied as he rose as well. Her tears spilled and tumbled down her cheeks.
  "I thought you were my friend!" And her angry exclamation he grabbed her by the wrists. The anger that surged in his eyes stilled her attempts to escape his grip.
  "I am your friend Mia. Why do you think I stay up all night listening to the things you say that don't make any sense? How many times have I opened the door for you only to have you throw up on my shoes before you can say anything?  Why do you think I endure the abuse from your parents when I take you home most mornings at two, after you've had time to sober?" She lowered her gaze from her closest friend's face. "Because I'm a real friend Mia. That's why."  He released her and moved across the room. Mia slid to the floor and hugged her knees to her chest. Her sobs grew audible in the silence. Listening to Leo's footsteps as he paced back and forth Mia knew she was right. It wasn't all about her. Leo, as usual, was right about the impact she was having upon the people around her. Raising her head she looked past Leo's shoulder, not quite ready to meet his gaze.
  "I'm sorry Leo....you do this all for me. And all I've given you is grief."
  "I don't want you to be sorry. I want you to realise what you're doing."
  "I do realise it...now." She rested her gaze just below his chin when he crouched down in front of her. "I don't want to." He sighed and sat on the floor as well.
  "No one wants to. I still don't want to believe it." That brought a small smile to her lips.
  "That's just your stubborn ways coming into play, Leo." He dipped his head in the affirmative.
  "I know. Well, now I know. Ten years ago I didn't." He murmured. She met his gaze when he tilted her head up with a finger under her chin. "Do you get what I'm saying?"
  "Yeah I get it." She said quietly. "But you won't get my parents involved will you?"
  "I'll do a lot of things for you Mia, but commit suicide I won't." He said with the beginnings of a smile as he shifted to sit beside her. They fell into a more familiar companionable silence. Neither wishing to make a sound, for fear of breaking the calm restored. "Promise me you will try to change how you're living. Promise me...please." She looked at her elder friend. He was right and he did know what he was saying. She had seen that for sure. He only wanted what was best for her.  She took his hand and squeezed it tightly. Her decision was made for her already. 
  "I promise." She whispered. "I promise to change."  He put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her to his side. Mia accepted the silent comfort as she finally sealed her escape from a darker path.

--End.--