He`s My Hero

Tics, twitches, muscle spasms that can`t be controlled. Yelling, and not being able to control it. Confusion and sadness. Can you imagine living like that? Some people do. Those people, have Tourette Syndrome. Tourette syndrome is like an umbrella, for other various disabilities. Such as ADD, (Attention Deficit Disorder) ADHD, (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) Anxiety Disorder and OCD (Obsessive Compulsion Disorder). Any of those fall under that category.
I know someone with TS. He just so happens to be my little brother. A hyperactive, silly 10 year old boy named Pieter Boone. His life can be hard. School is what makes it so difficult. His social life isn’t so bad, as he can pass off his verbal tics as funny little sound effects. He randomly belts out a song, and doesn’t realize it until someone tells him to stop...but he can’t. There are 3 types of tics; verbal, mental and physical. My brother has all three. Verbally, you can tell. He makes funny noises, kind of like a habit. Mentally, is a harder one, like his anxiety disorder. Physically, would be his twitch of the head he can’t control. Can you imagine not being in control of yourself?
He attends a wonderful elementary, St.Mary’s. They have adapted his learning so it suits his brain, and provides less stress. In grade 4, he was diagnosed with Dyslexia. Dyslexia, a learning disability, which causes a struggle with reading. When he was asked to read aloud, he would stutter over small words, even though in his brain, he knew it. He saw the words differently then other people, like the word ‘and’ would be read as ‘adn’. Halfway through grade four, he was assigned a ‘helper’, a person who specializes in children with learning disabilities. She helps him through tests, and decides whether or not he should be doing the PATs, and CCATs. Once his friends realised he had a helper, things changed. He became one of the ‘dumb kids’ who sat in the corner, they stopped talking to him, and didn’t invite him to birthday parties. Pieter, didn’t realize it was because of his Tourettes, rather that he wasn’t fun to be around. He had one of the worst panic attacks, at school. He began hyperventilating in Language Arts, and began throwing up by Math. Quickly my parents took him to the hospital, where he was given a ‘pill’ to calm his brain down. He now takes one in the morning before school, and one at lunch. He’s made new friends, ones who accept him for who he is. Grade four was the worst year of his life.
Awhile ago, my brother began watching ‘Dog the Bounty Hunter’. His mind would then take the ideas from his shows, and put them into real-life situations. He began thinking he was going to end up in jail, and no one would care. In his head, he thought Mom and Dad would move away, and I wouldn’t care. During this time of hardship, me and my brother were going through our typical brother annoys sister to no end. Pieter was worried about me hating him for the rest of his life, and as hard as it is to believe, that scared him. This is when he started having suicidal thoughts. A nine year old boy, asked his father, if it was possible to kill himself, and ended with ‘would anyone care?’My dad, shocked, took him to his doctor, and Pieter told her that he wished he was dead. I was not aware of any of this until he asked me to get the sharpest knife from the drawer and walk outside. Upon asking why, he broke down and asked if I hated him. I told him of course not, and asked him where this was coming from. He abruptly told me he could see the future, and I wasn’t going to bail him out of jail. He then ran to his room, locked the door and cried. I called my parents with confusion, and I blocked the channel on the TV. His mind over thinks things like no one else. It’s scary.
His brain doesn’t always know what’s appropriate to say in public. Like telling people ‘my sister’s a bulimic,’ isn’t something you go telling complete strangers. I used to think he was ‘socially retarted’ for lack of a better word. I seem to be wrong, he has three girlfriends, who aren’t aware of each other. As his sister, I don’t think that’s socially acceptable, but I wouldn’t tell him that; don’t want another panic attack.
I remember when his dog, Chinnook, ran away. We looked for hours, and hours. That night, he had a severe panic attack. His brain was coming up with all the worst possibilities, and scenarios. His brain couldn’t handle knowing his dog had ran away, and might not be back again. We checked the pound the next day...and there he was, long lush hair and all. We were offered a micro chip to be injected into his neck. My parents, not wanting to spend the money on such a ‘useless’ thing, said no. Pieter stood there, batting his big brown eyes, and quietly whispered “I’ll pay”.
He has began to adapt his life to his disability, when he feels he can’t concentrate in school, he excuses himself to go for a walk, and get some air. During soccer, he focuses all his extra energy on the ball, which makes him such a great player. He’s began to realise that its not his fault he doesn’t ‘get’ certain things. Look at this way, he can see the black and white, but not the grey. He has gone through a lot, and life will always be a struggle for my little brother. He’s began to cope with compassion and love. He has given me hope to try harder, and understand him. He’s my hero.