Off-White

The room was an off-white color, not that it mattered. Although, a passerby would assume I was drawn to the wall color, for I had been staring at it for the last hour and a half. However, I found that I couldn't do anything but stare. My mind was numb with shock, and even though the room was slightly warm, my skin was chilly.

Even though it's needless to say, I'll say it anyways. The night had not gone as planned. What was supposed to be a fun evening had turned tragic when a drunk driver crossed paths with us. That's how I ended up here, with only a few bruises marring my skin, waiting. I should feel lucky I suppose, I was barely beat up. All I could do though was sit there shocked, in the silence.

Yes, it was quiet, eerily so. I think I preferred the boisterous sirens that had announced our arrival to the hospital, because silence was just too frightening. The silence made me forget that he still had a chance to live. It made me feel as if he was already dead. So, as silly as it may seem, when a chair squeaked as someone sat down beside me I was slightly comforted. I didn't look up though; I just kept staring at the wall, now thinking that it might be more of a cream color than off-white.

I felt a small pressure on my shoulder and I realized that it was someone's hand when I finally tore my eyes away from the wall. For a few moments I just looked at the hand and then up into the eyes of its owner. A doctor was sitting there smiling sadly at me. That dismal smile made my heart go from a calm rhythm to nearly jumping out of my chest, and the comforting gesture now seemed unsettling. For why would I need comforting, unless something truly dire had happened. My breathing sped up but I said nothing, still clinging to hope like a lifeline, although I couldn't help but fear the worst.

My heart skipped a beat as she opened her mouth. As her mouth moved all I could hear was the pounding of my own heartbeat. She closed her mouth and looked at me as if expecting some kind of reaction out of me. When I made no move to respond to her inaudible words, she opened her mouth again, only this time I heard her. She had said he was stable. My clammy skin was suddenly very hot and my numb mind began to work again. I felt dizzy with feeling and happiness drove the fear right out of my mind. Before I could put a true smile on my face though, the doctor opened her mouth again.

The only word that truly registered in my brain was "coma". Perhaps it's because the word made my mind go numb again or maybe it was because I started to walk away before she even finished her sentence. My mind didn't quite grasp that I didn't know where his room was, my legs just started to move. I felt that light pressure on my shoulder again after a while, guiding me in the right direction. The only thing my mind seemed to process from the uncomfortable chairs to his room was the fact that I still wasn't quite sure what variation of white covered these walls. Perhaps it was eggshell.

The light pressure on my shoulder finally made me stop in front of a door. A door that I assumed was his door. I turned the handle and pulled so hard that I was surprised it stayed on its hinges. The first thing I saw was him. I saw him lying in a hospital bed with sheets that looked way too crisp and clean against his broken body. Tubes and wires connected him to machines that would let out an occasional 'beep' which in turn would let us know he wasn't dead just yet. He looked better than he did from when they pulled him out of the car all covered in blood. Still, just because the blood was no longer visible didn't mean the wounds were no longer there.

When he didn't respond to my eccentric entrance into the room, and although I didn't expect him to, tears ran down my cheek. This was the first time I had cried all night, but the numbness of my mind was gone now and all that was left was grief.

I took another trembling step into the room, when I spotted a vacant chair by his bedside. It was as if this metal chair had been waiting for me to come and sit in it, so I did. I looked away from my brother's dead-like body, unable to look at it anymore. My eyes roamed the room, looking anywhere but at him, when I subconsciously decided that the walls were definitely off-white.