This is a freeverse poem about a depression I went through a few years ago. |
Days pass a blur, I'm drowning, falling, slowly dying. Apathy attempts to suffocate me And hapiness laughs in my face, just out of reach... Taunting me. Periods of time pass by where memories collapse. As I drift between consciousness and sleep I realize, No logical thought has flitted through my mind all day. Am I going insane? Am I dying? The first concern I've felt for a long time. I don't remember a thing. Days either crawled by agonizingly slow, Or flow past so fast that it's unreal. Numbness spreads, I'm drowning in Novacain. I watch the blood flow And relief fills me. But as I welcome the pain, the feeling, the emotion, I start to realize, Something is terribly wrong. I watch people laugh and play, All the while I bathe in numbness. My consciance stirs And I finally realize, We're all supposed to feel something... But I've forgotten how. How to cry, How to love, How to fight... How to believe. Days continue to pass, And I quickly go numb again. I lose all hope, All sense, And start to wonder if it's worth it to carry on. And then one day. A magic day just by mistake, A glimpse of color, A shrill scream, The scream of something new. My eyes opened wide. And something stirred inside. Suddenly everything fell into place, I remembered reason, I remembered life. I cried some tears, felt some pain, but utter joy as I learned to live. Hope filled me, I felt again. Days flew by, Passed so quickly, But in a different way. I remembered, Remembered why I carried on. I felt new, But they never knew, The pain I had to endure. I've been through more, Than anyone would ever know. I was born from music, Saved by God, Learned my place in life... The day I died, Was the day I started to live. |