The Dawn of Marketing

The Dawn of Marketing

                  “Grog!  Grog!  I have very good idea!!”  Ug bounded through the mouth of the cave, scanning the shadows for his friend.
 
                    Grog, sitting next to a sputtering fire, looked up, grease streaking his face, a large bone covered with partially cooked meat in his hairy fist.

         “Unh.  What this time?”

         Ug squatted next to Grog, a triumphant smile on his face.  He held up a container made of tanned hide.

         “I create something new!  It called soft drink!”
 
         Grog peered at his friend uncomprehendingly.  “What it do?”

         “You drink.” Ug responded, making a tipping motion with the container toward his mouth.
 
         “Like water?”

         “Better than water. I take water, and add leaf and stick, and mastodon urine.  Stir good with ice that break off glacier.“

         Grog looked incredulous.  “Why you make?”

         “I give to other people in exchange for good things, like meat or vegetable.  Ug never have to hunt or grow thing again.”  Ug practically danced around the cave in excitement.  “Here, drink.”

         Grog took the container and sniffed it hesitantly, then brought it to his lips.  After a quick swig, Grog immediately spat the substance into the fire, causing a flash.  “That horrible! No one give you good thing for that.”  Grog went back to tearing flesh from the bone with his mouth. 

         Ug grabbed the container back, and said: “ You no know.  People give me thing.  Especially after I tell them secret.”

         Grog continued eating. “What secret?”

         “If drink, you be better hunter, faster runner, get more boom-boom.”  Ug balled his right hand into a fist and pumped it forward in the air twice to punctuate the last word.

         “Huh?  How you know that?”
 
         “Don’t matter.  You help me.  You say: ‘Yes, I drink Ug drink. I am now faster, better hunter, and have woman all nights.’  Other people try.  They think they faster, better, then they want more.  It easy.  You help, I give you percentage of food and furs I get.  Maybe we fix cave up nice.”

                    “You mean we lie?”

         “Not lie.”  Ug gave an exasperated sigh.” We tell people what they not have.  Then we give to them.  They feel better.  We no have to work.  Everyone happy.  I call ‘marketing.’”

         Grog stared at Ug for a long minute.  Then, without warning, he cocked his arm and sent the bone clattering against the opposite wall of the cave.  “Ug, you genius.  You go making more drink, I go to tell people ‘big secret!’”  Grog stood.  “But we no call it Ug drink.  We draw big mastodon head on side of container.  We call it ‘Massive Mastodon Power Aid!”


Word count: 442