Soda

*Word Count 850*


I knocked my head back and took a quick drink.

And promptly spat it out all over my manager. Classic, with puckered lips and my long hair flying all over.

"What the hell is this??"

"It the new soda I was telling you about. The one the maker requested to use your song as the theme."

I made a horrible face as Tim wiped the liquid off his face. We have known and trusted each other thoroughly over the years, We have had many discussions as well, some good and some bad. I worry that this was going to be one of those bad and I wanted to know why he hated me so much. He had to have hated me to give me this.

"I'm sorry but this soda tasted like hamburger and they want to use Great White to promote it?" I asked. Granted the song would make a good marketing theme but not for a drink that tasted like a dead cow. A dead cow that had been spit out by a great white.

"Yes."

Suddenly I missed the dry flavorless stuff I ate when I was wintered over in Vostok station a few years ago. All the Russians had for me to chew on when I went into sudden labor was some type of extra salty jerky.

It certainly was no longer the worst I had ever tasted.

Suddenly Tim stood up and greeted a big overweight man who walked into the office behind me.

"Art, This is the marketing director of Yarbrough Sodas, Eric White."

Somehow I had a hard time acting professional.

"So what do you think?" He asked.

Figures catch me off guard with no time to prep a smart answer. "I didn't like it."

"The drink or the request?"

"The drink."

With a slight smile he looked me over. "Tastes like poop sandwich doesn't it?"

I was shocked. "Yes! You know? Your company admits it?"

He laughed. "No. I admit it but the president loves it. His daughter helped develop it and it is now her favorite. She wants everyone in the world to share in her favorite soda." He looked at me. "And with that, she wants her favorite singer to be the music of Pop-si Cola."

Suddenly any amount of professionalism I had left in me left my body at the moment. I busted up laughing. "Pop-si?!"

I don't know how Tim was able to keep a straight face. Maybe he had heard the name before. I didn't care. I felt really good laughing. It cleared my system of the soda.

Well almost.

I farted.

Trying not to turn red, I saw Tim finally crack a smile.

“You rip off Pepsi’s name? For this? Does the presidents daughter know that is very unprofessional?”

“No, Miss Starla wouldn‘t understand that term. Her dad does but went ahead with it. Said the resulting lawsuit was worth it for the free publicity.” Eric said.

“Miss Starla?” I looked at him curiously.

"Art, there is something you should know about the presidents daughter." Tim said, leaning forward on his desk.

Faking a serious look, "What?"

"She is five years old."

I must of gotten a shocked blank look because both men looked surprised as how quickly all humor drained from my face. "You're telling me a five year old made this soda and a billion dollar company is acting on it?"

Eric leaned back in his chair. "Yes. Stupid isn't it?"

I looked at him. "You’re the marketing guy. Your butt is on the line if this goes wrong. And it will, with or without my music." I looked back at Tim. "My music isn't safe for little kids. I learned after lesson after my own daughter, Calypso, watched one of my videos. "

"The songs are safe, just not the videos, at least as far as my boss is concerned." Eric said.

Tim turned the attention to the problem at hand. "We have a drink that tastes awful, has an interesting side effect, " I went red again. "And that was created by a little girl. So what do we do."

"All Art has to do is decided if she will allow her song in the ad. The rest is up to me."

Right then my nanny walked in with my youngest child Akula. Akula crawled unto my lap and grabbed the drink. Before I could stop her she started drinking out of it. In silent shock we all watched her.

She lowered the can and with a sweet three year old grin said. "More?"

It hit Tim first as if a big light bulb went off over his head. "You market the drink to children and you can have one of Art’s songs. Just not Great White. It is too adult."

"All my songs are adult, all but -" I paused. "All but the lullaby my ex girlfriend made up and used to sing to Calypso. If you like it you can use it."

He smiled. "We have a deal."

Akula farted. Badly.

I looked at Eric. "That side effect is your problem."