The Human Chameleon

Long ago in an old kingdom, there once was a young man named William who loved to think of himself as a master of disguise. One night after many hours and twice as many mugs of ale, his self confidence in his ability of camouflage grew stronger and stronger. He told of his many triumphs over the fools of their kingdom who fell victim to his many discretionary antics. Of the time he disguised himself as a rich merchant passing through town using naught but his silver tongue to secure himself a free room and board for the night at one of the most expensive brothel. Or another time where he fooled a beautiful maiden that he was her fiancé come home early from his work at the mine.

A dark stranger who had tucked himself into a corner within the safety of the shadows challenged the boastful man. “I have ten gold coins here that says you couldn’t disguise your way inside the palace walls.” The cloak stranger revealed a coin pouch from behind his dark robes and dumped it onto the thick wooden table in front of him. William’s ears twitched and his fingers itched to claim that pouch of musical jingling coin. The cajoling noises his friends at the bar with him fell on his deaf ears.

“Why sir,” he boasted, “so good am I at disguise, I would be there and back again with no one the wiser!” He stood from the bar and staggered his way to the stranger’s table. “How do you propose me to prove this feat to you, good sir?”

“So sure you are to fool even the mighty palace guard are you?” The stranger crossed his arms smugly. William could see a laughing mockery in his eyes and wanted to show this unbeliever just how formidable he was. “Fine then. To prove yourself, I will require the princess’ crown as prove of your accomplishment.”

“My good sir, I’m a master at deception, not a simpleton thief!” William was offended and extremely put out. Not only was this man mocking him, but so too was the coin purse not but a hand’s breath away from his itching fingers.

“I was under the impression you were up to such an impossible challenge. What with your exceptional skills at blending in and making yourself a chameleon among the people, I would think procuring such an item like the crown of the princess would not be such a challenge at all. After all, it’s not as if I’m asking you to steal the king’s crown.” The stranger reached to pick up his coin purse and put it back inside his robes. William watched in growing resentment.

“Do not be so quick to misunderstand my intentions. I only wanted to make it clear that I am no thief. I can and will accept your challenge. Just know that I only agree to obtaining the item only for proof of my success and only that.” He gave the stranger a wink. “Now, I must insist on your end of the bargain. I will require some recompense beforehand…say five of your ten gold pieces.”

“And YOU do not be quick to think I am a fool, man!” The stranger stood from his corner, dwarfing William with his bulk and height. “You will get your ten gold pieces only when you deliver to me the princess’s crown. And ONLY then!”

This was going much easier than he had thought. In his journey to the palace, he had found a small hole on the side of the moat. This he had used to store his local garb. Dressed now as a foot soldier, he infiltrated the castle under the guise as one of the palace guards.

William found a lovely palace servant who was all too happy to accept his story that he was new to the guard. He managed to get enough information from the plump servant to tell him the king would be disposed for the greatest part of the day as he was having counsel among his advisors and captains of his royal army. The princess and her mother the queen was out riding with their own entourage.

This filled William with growing confidence. With the royal family away and engaged with other activities, this left him in the palace with no other to worry about than the servants and a few of the pesky guards.

Not an hour passed when William made his hasty retreat out of the palace and retrieved his change of clothes in the hidey hole on the side of the moat. Once changed, he travelled down the road with his prize neatly packed away among his palace guard uniform. He frowned when he approached the market. There was no other direct route to lead him back to the tavern, so he would have to endure the people-filled streets as they browsed and haggled at the weekly market.

A portly woman bumped into him and had turned to utter a quick apology and he recognized her as the plump palace servant woman. Though she didn’t recognize him, she was a woman who enjoyed talking to friendly people. He learned from her that the royal family requested a fine feast that evening. They were expecting a guest and they were thrilled to host a lovely dinner for him.

Intrigued, William left her to move on his way to the tavern. The dark stranger was there in the same corner as the night before waiting for William’s return. With a subtle flick of his hand, he motioned William to follow him into a private room. William didn’t see the flash of gilded clothing beneath the dark robes as the stranger moved.

“Do you have the ten gold coins as you promised?” As soon as the words left Williams mouth, the stranger lifted the purse out of his robes and jingled the coins inside. That was the only motivation he needed to produce the crown for the stranger to see.

“It seems you are a great deceiver as you boast.” He passed the coins to William and grabbed the crown in exchange. “But unfortunately for you, you have a too active mouth to be kept alive in this world.”

William wasn’t listening. He was too busy opening the purse to reveal the gold coin inside. As soon as the cold weight tumbled into his hands, he felt something seep below the skin of his palm and run into his veins.

“Poisoned!” William cried out. Liquid fire poured from his hand up his arm and seeped into his heart where it pumped throughout his body; the pain building up until it was unbearable. His world collapsed in on him and soon he had fallen on the ground, everything started to tower over him at unbelievable heights. His cries became croaks and he watched as his hands and body deformed and turned green and slick.

“No, not poisoned. You have become a chameleon again, your final disguise: a frog!” The stranger’s hands grabbed at William. He was lifted up, and then everything was black. He was in some kind of bag. There were other frogs with him, croaking loudly as they were all jostled as the stranger began moving. It seemed that William was trapped inside the bag of frogs for hours. Then he heard the stranger speak and all hope was lost.

“Penelope, please take this bag to the kitchens.” William and the rest of the frogs tumbled about helplessly as their bag exchanged hands.

“Yes, your Majesty!” The voice belonged to the friendly servant who William met twice that day.

When the bag was next opened, the sight to greet William was that of a boiling pan of water.

That evening, the royal family and their guest enjoyed a lovely feast including a delicacy of frog legs.