Journey through a Demented Mind

         I don't know how it ended up like this. I try not to think of it too much. Thinking too much is bad for your health anyway.  All I know is that I'm now approaching the very thing I've been running from my entire life. I don't really have a choice now. With every ascending step, the path behind me closes in and swallows the stairs into darkness. It's not like it matters. The darkness is a friend to me now. The shadows, although haunting, soothe my troubled mind. They never leave me. They dance along the walls, encouraging me to take one more step, and I always do.

         You may think I'm insane, crazy, a complete lunatic. Perhaps you're right. Or, maybe you're the lunatic. Neither of us knows where this is going. You think its absurd the way I speak to you. But, I think you're just as afraid as I am. Are you afraid? Listen. Do you hear that music? That haunting minor melody that echoes throughout these enclosed walls? Take a moment to recollect you're memories. Oh, wait! That's right! There is no memory in this wretched place! I lost my mind long ago. I became obsolete to the world out there, in the beyond. Soon, you will become the same way.

         You may deny it. I was just like you when all of this started out. A “normal” person with a “normal” life and a “normal” mind. But, everyone has to let go of sanity sometime. Some people get lucky. They lose their minds so slowly that they never reach the breaking point. They're lucky enough to die before that happens. But, then there are the people like me. We lose our grip so quickly that the end comes long before it's meant to arrive. Pray, pray like it's your final breath that you don't end up like me, one of the unlucky ones.

         Here we are now. We've been ascending these splintered steps for quite some time now. It may only seem like a little while. It may feel like fifteen minutes. Are you sure? Are you sure it's not fifteen days? Or, perhaps fifteen years? I gave up on trying to count long ago. In this abyss which we call the mind, there is no memory, no time, no emotion. Only that haunting music that echoes all around us. It's the most beautiful thing in the world to me. Or should I say my world. The world out there has never experienced such a thing as this.

         Is that a tear in your eye? Oh, come now. What good will tears do you now? It's already too late. You just fail to recognize it at this moment. Don't worry my friend. Do you know what awaits us at the top of this never ending staircase? Well, neither do I. But, I imagine that there is wonderful world beyond even my imagination up there. I believe it to be a place where there is no pain, physical nor emotional. I think of it as a place where the flawless chorus of angels resounds in the morning to awaken a new spirit and mind. Yes, that's the world I dream of.

         But, for now, we must keep climbing this eternal flight we call life. Do not despair my friend. I'm here with you. For the longest time I was alone on this wretched journey. Then you came! What an incredible blessing! I know you've seen much pain. And, the awaiting ascent will not be easy. I promise, however, to carry you if you grow weak. I hope you would do the same for me as well. Come, as long as the music continues so do we!

         Perhaps we are insane. But, what of it? Life can seem overrated at times. Yet, we were given life for a reason. Let's keep going. Who knows? Being insane may be rather entertaining!







Written By: Sarah McCary

February 14, 2010