Bathroom Cop Lady

I got an e-mail the other day titled, "20 things to do to keep your sanity." So I thought I would try one. I happened to roar with laughter over the first one, so I thought that is the one for me.

You might not think this was a dangerous venture, I sure didn't. Well my luck, a police man would spoil my fun.

Number one encouraged the following:
Sit in your car with sun glasses on and point a blow dryer at on coming traffic, see what reaction you get.

Now I don't know what you think about that idea, but I thought it was quite funny. I thought it would be better if I dressed in my P.J's with my bathrobe and wore a shower cap to go along with the whole bathroom theme, blow dryer and all.

I set myself up on St Georges Avenue. This is a busy street with a route number, so there are trucks delivering as well as auto traffic non stop. I was sure to catch a speeder here.

In this area of New Jersey, no one is known for keeping the speed limit, so I anticipated getting many slowing reactions. Plus, if they actually noticed my getup I was sure to make someone laugh.

I brought along a snack, some milk and powdered donuts.

My first culprit was a young teen, with music blaring, I could hear him coming for blocks. Oh and I forgot to tell you, it is January and I had my windows down and the roof open; so I could really hear and they could surely notice me in my car.

This guy is revving his engines at the light unaware that about 2 blocks down the road I am waiting, blow dryer in hand. He hits about 50 in seconds as he approaches my car. I stick the blow dryer out the window and to my astonishment he hits the brakes. I surely hadn't expected that response.

Little did I know a police officer was already on his trail as he had passed him the block prior, already above the speed limit.

The drastic braking of the car caused the young man to fish tale and almost hit a parked car, while causing the police officer to have to brake avoiding hitting this young man.

I choked on the donut, spitting powdered sugar all over my black bathrobe. I was panicked thinking, should I continue to sit here or take off saving myself the embarrassment of explaining what the hell I was doing in my present garb, equipped with a blow dryer on St Georges Avenue.

Too late to get out of this one. Red lights go on, I hear Whoop, Whoop as the young man pulls in front of me with the cop car following behind him. I am trying to smile at the officer, as he glares at me through his rear view mirror.

Now in the moments, that seemed like hours, to follow I talked to myself. I really didn't do anything wrong. Hey, we can all dress however we want and there is no law about having a blow dryer in your car right? Wrong.

There is nothing wrong with it, unless the police officer thinks your nuts!

He gets out of the car, first going to the young man. My heart is pounding as I hear him ask for his drivers license and registration. The boy is trying to reach for everything while saying, "Sir, I'm really sorry I swerved like that, it's just I didn't realize I was going that fast. And then that lady, I don't know what she is doing, but I thought she was pointing a weapon at me. Sir, I am really sorry. I mean it. My Dad is going to kill me if I get a ticket."

The policemen's response. Well son, I can't help what trouble you got yourself into today, but I will tell you one thing; I will be sure to check her out for a weapon.

A weapon! I am thinking to myself. It is a BLOW DRYER. With that he looks my way and nods, "OK lady your next." He tells the boy to remain in his car as he gets on his radio asking for backup.

Backup? What does he need backup for?

He approaches my car, at which time I realize I still have the stupid shower cap on. I remove the cap as he states, "License and registration please."

I stammer, "Oh officer you don't need my license. I didn't do anything wrong."

He puts his clip board at his side, lowers his glasses and states, "Listen Mame, I don't know what you're doing. I see what looks like white powder all over you. You have bathroom garb on and you're pointing a blow dryer at cars that are approaching you. Please, tell me what I am supposed to think?"

I smiled and nervously replied the first thing to come to mind, "Impersonating a Bathroom Cop Lady, I think." I heard the words come out of my mouth. I knew they made no sense, I even made a face, like... "Yes, I am nuts Sir."

Well lets just say, he didn't think my response was funny and warranted a mental health evaluation. His backup arrived and I had a little friendly visit to the emergency room, to assure I had all my senses and was safe to let drive home.

Ah, the price for sanity.

Lets just say I left the other 19 alone.

I think funnier still, must be the entry I left on this officers list of the nuttiest experiences during the line of duty.