Maturity

In our world today, most people are unable to cope with themselves. They are unable to face themselves as they truly are, because they are ashamed of their weaknesses. Consequently, they always seem to run away from themselves, wishing they were some other people, more intelligent, richer, more beautiful, handsome, more… They are uncomfortable with their unique personalities, and often feel incomplete, “half”… I think this is the mark of immaturity.
Naturally, the human race is comprised of selfish, egotistical beings. Humanity is, in its natural state driven by its large ego: a desire to be seen, appreciated, praised, acclaimed, admired… People will do anything in their power to get fame, recognition, power, and a feeling of superiority over others. They are naturally small-minded; thinking and talking only about themselves, their dreams and accomplishments. As such most people have their worth, self-esteem and happiness tied to and controlled by their environment. To say the least, I think the above description can be summarized in 6 words: The human race is naturally immature.
However, even amid all of these, there is usually another group of people, actually a minority, who can be qualified as mature. They have come to the understanding of the great truth that one’s true worth or self-esteem does not consist in the abundance of things they possess.
If I were to define maturity in one word, it would be WHOLENESS. Maturity is attained when a person is able to live confidently with himself and others, and relate effectively with them. A mature person has a refreshingly pure, complete, whole and consummate personality. I think maturity is attained when a person has come to a place where his worth, self-esteem and happiness depend neither on the circumstances that surround him nor on people’s opinions of him. As such maturity comes with an ability to handle both extremes of life: criticism and praise, fame and infamy, abundance and lack. It also comes with an increasing ability to give up one’s comfort, whims and even legitimate desires for the comfort of other people. Unlike most people, mature people are not driven by a desire to please others, or to be admired by others. Rather, they are driven by a desire to reach out to others, to nurture, empower and enlarge the people around them. They are not at the center of their worlds, unlike most others, and do not depend on the praise and acclamations of others to keep them going.
The natural tendency today is to tie down maturity to a certain set of personality traits. A person is usually considered mature if he/she is composed, quiet… However, I think maturity is more of an inside job than an outside one. However indicative they may be, mannerisms and other habitual tendencies are not enough evidence to conclude on the level of a person’s maturity. (But they may help to determine one’s levels of Immaturity) True, everything on the inside usually manifests itself on the outside, but people can feign qualities in a bid to look good and appear mature. It is true that tact, thrift, and the ability to control one’s tongue are some pointers to the level of a person’s maturity. However, even a combination of these is too weak a basis to use when assessing the level of a person’s maturity. A person may be thrifty and/or tactful as a result of natural temperament, but on the inside is full of schemes and desires to promote himself. Another may be quiet, but only because he/she is afraid to speak forth his/her convictions.
The truth, maturity is a very long, painful process, which is usually a lifelong one too. It usually begins with an honest personal appraisal of one’s abilities, dreams, strengths and weaknesses. It then continues with an acceptance of these as what constitute one’s personality. The process then continues with an appropriate treatment of character flaws (filling up the holes where necessary), which, for most people requires an active denial of self, with its insatiable desires. Maturity, when fully grown in a person, will always show itself. When a person no longer focuses on him/herself, thinking he/she is the center of the world, when the desire to serve becomes greater than the desire to be seen or admired, when the desire to see other people blossom and prosper becomes more powerful than the desire to be appreciated, when a person realizes that we are all tiny parts of a world infinitely bigger than we are- then, we can be sure that such a person is ripe, mature and ready to face the world.