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Rated: · Short Story · Arts · #1661796
A derivative story based on real life events of self discovery
Chapter 1: IN THE HOUSE

"ID please," the large man in black suit stuck out an empty hand, his equivocal eyes darted at the girls. He wasn't convinced they were old enough. Suraia's eyes enlarged in disbelief, almost angrily, behind her large boxy frames. The rest exchanged cocked eyebrows & folded arms with each other, then at the bouncer. Emma flashed an "Oh, really now?" look and eyed him head to toe. She had half the mind to spit that out loud but she knew the man wasn't worth catching saliva on her new Stila lipstick.

"Uhm, Mr. Raihan," Jo read off the gold strip on his blazer, "don't worry we're all girls. We're not into the whole drag thing, okay?"

"Okay, so that means you won't have any problems showing me your ID?" the bouncer snapped.

"Listen, we're with Rey. Guestlist under Rey Rauzan for Dae + 4 guests," Jo said almost condescendingly.

Dae had no participation in all this entry-talk. Generally, she's the quiet type but on a Girl's Night Out like this, it means eye-flirting with a busty girl in the the queue behind them. Well, any busty girl anywhere in the vicinity anyway. She always appeared to be the typical Riot Grrl no matter where she went or what she wore. But tonight, she waxed up that 'hawk and pulled on a studded leather vest. Level up on the butch scale! Meanwhile, the bouncer had found their names and unhooked the barrier to let them into Lust. However, Dae and Emma were held back. Dae looked too young, so she had to produce her ID anyway. No one was surprised. She could easily be mistaken for a 15-year-old with a baby face like that despite having facial piercings. Ari, on the other hand, was asked to pay because her facial bones were too masculine that the bouncer passed her off as a guy. She didn't have to produce her ID. The ever-so zingy girl zipped down her top to show off an electric blue sports bra. As thought that wasn't enough, she grabbed her A-cups together to show off a little cleavage. His eyes almost popped out from embarrassment. Unhooking the barrier once again, he mouthed, "I'm sorry, Miss."

"Hey, don't worry, I get it all the time," Ari replied in the most polite way as possible.

"Are you all...," Mr. Raihan quizzed. Ari knew he was new. All the other bouncers would've known them by now, especially her. She had always left Lust drunk, carried by a bouncer or two. Mr. Raihan nodded.

"Most of us are, new boy," she winked.
As the girls made their way to the locker chamber, they were already bouncing from the bass that crawled on every inch of the club floor. By then they were already reunited with Emma and Jo who went to touch up their makeup. Suraia was especially psyched since it was her first time at a club. Emma was especially pleased that Dae came along that night. It was obvious she dressed up a little more that she used to, hoping she could end up in Dae's bed when the club closed. Even if she didn't, she could always score almost anyone else's bed. But here's the thing, Emma and Dae were never romantically involved but merely companions, or so to speak. Let's just say, Emma came looking for Dae whenever she's not attached to anyone. Pun intended.

It was almost midnight when the club came alive. The resident DJ was playing his signature mixes of electronic-funk and hip-hop. The dancefloor was pounding, the bars were slammed while reserved tabled were decked with bottles and shot glasses, and yet the girls weren't ready to party. At least, not before they looked for me.

"Rey! We're here!" Emma shouted over the bar. I thought that annoying nasal voice sounded utterly familiar but I ignored it, reaching for mixers on the bar shelves to serve orders. I turned around after plopping olives in three Martinis, and I saw a daunting smile that couldn't ever be missed or mistaken for someone else's.

"Busy, babe?" Dae shouted & waved. I smiled back then served the Martinis before getting back to the girls.

"God, what took you guys so long!" I was juggling the conversation and a few other orders. Emma decided to tell me the whole story why they were late but of course, the music was so pumped by then, all I could make out was, "Find dress...Queue...ID...Raihan..."

"Don't mind him, he's new," I said. I served up 5 shots for them for starters. "Come on, the party won't wait for you," I urged and every one of them threw back their head for the Jaigerbomb. They urged for another round. I then signaled them to the direction of the reserved tables and held up the number 13 as I finished up the rest of the incoming orders.

A few fine bottles, a dozen of glasses, a bucket of ice and a great load of cherries, lychees, lemon and salt. On overrated nights like these, no one bothered tallying inventory stocks. I served these up to my friends, playing a friendly host just to keep my boss off my back. In these few minutes at their table, I couldn't help but to notice every single one of them.

Emma especially caught my attention in a purple peacock dress and borderline cabaret makeup that was just far too frosty on her sun-tanned skin. Another reason was due to her obvious gestures towards Dae - the fluttering of fake lashes, the flipping of her hair, the arm-touching. I had an itch to laugh at her comic desperation but Ari seemed to have picked up the same vibe and did the honours. Emma was oblivious to everything but Dae, working her charms on her. Dae didn't look disturbed or uncomfortable, but instead played along with her. The best part is, Dae had the best view of the girl in the queue just now from where they sat. By then, I had already known who she was eyeing. For most times, we tend to be attracted to the same girl. But Emma? No, thanks.

Ari still had her sports bra exposed but she could easily pass it off as a fashion statement, a rising trend. Besides, she has an amazing body frame - curved at all the right places and small muscled. Despite her laid back outlook, she always had something that didn't make her look boring and this time, Phat Farm boots made the cut.

Jo was rocking a customized Harley Davidson dress matched with a skull belt. She added a touch of feminity, wearing read sparkly heels. I especially loved how Jo balanced masculinity & feminity in her wardrobe. She had the best body of us six. Here's the lowdown: 34; 25, 32. Almost a perfect hourglass shape. Her hair's curled this time, to fit the grungy bad-ass look.

Suraia was a pleasant sight that night, her head bopping to the beat, her silver headband gleaming in the light. I loved her outfit that night - poptart Monroe-printed leggings paired with a backless vest and oxford heels. She looked like she jumped right out of a magazine page and yet she looked subtle with the large boxy glasses. She had minimal makeup on but still hogged attention with pouty lips in vivid rouge. I welcomed her into the club scene with a hug and a toast, followed by small conversation to pass the time before I knock off. Despite it being her first clubbing experience, she didn't appear awkward but the scene seemed second nature to her. Her body moved exactly the way the music dictated. God, I love the way her body moved. She was the better dancer of the lot of us.

Dae motioned her watch at me when she caught my eye. It was time to punch out and join them for one hell of a Ladies' Night that I wouldn't forget for the rest of my life.
****
Back in the Staff Room, I'd changed out of my uniform for ever. I had never felt so relieved and satisfied after working a shift. The sweaty uniform was tossed into a small box, along with my access pass, cashier keys and punch card, left on my manager's table. I secretly wished I could see her face in the morning, especially at a period where Lust has a shortage of staff. God, I wanted so badly to see that hatred in the eyes and frustration in ther fists. But unlike any other night, I wasn't going to bust through a full shift. I walked back to Table 13, soles comforted by a pair of zebra-printed Supra and donned on a slashed-back long top. Okay, who am I kidding? It's an oversized basketball jersey I bought at a reject store, which I slashed at the back, cinched to fit my lower half and coiled a long skinny belt around the waist.

"I'm loving your kicks, Rey," Ari threw a compliment my way. I nodded in agreement.

"Turn around! Turn around!" Suraia spurred and I complied. She closed her opened mouth with her hand and playfully fanned herself with the other.

"Double D, G!" Jo piped. Suraia cocked an eyebrow at her. "You know, Drop Dead Gorgeous. D-D-G?" she explained.

"I thought you were talking about her boobs, heh," Suraia exclaimed. We all laughed at Suraia's cuteness. Dae handed me a Bloody Mary.

"Come, let's toast to Rey before we go dance the night out," Dae said.

"Toast to what?" Emma asked.

"Haven't you heard? Rey just quit her job. And...," Dae announced. The rest leaned in closer. "She got a job at Myfest Clothing," I was doused in praise, congratulations, faced of disbelief, screams and showered with encouragement.
Myfest Clothing is the lovechild of a threesome of dominant queers in Singapore. Not only was it a rising local label, but it is also one of the very few labels that was Riot Grrl material. Myfest Clothing branches out into three aspects of fashion - apparel production, photography and event coordinators - lead by each of the co-owners. Reena Fong owns the powerhouse called Pynk!, where Myfest Clothing's events, runway shows, collection releases and talent showcases are held. Pynk! was a club targeted mainly to lesbians, by a lesbian. But of course it was still hetero-friendly or the government would raise her taxes or take back her citizenship, or even banish her out of the country altogether with the rest of us. Fucking ignorant government.

Jo and Suraia planted a kiss on each side of my cheek. Dae hugged me tight, all smiles, and ruffled the back of hair. I was handed a few more glasses and a few more shots than I'm used to. I didn't care much because I was felt really good about leaving this job, as though ten tonnes of bricks has been taken off my shoulders. I felt even more satisfied that I landed myself a job that I love to do, a job that allowed me to write, a passion fuelled in me since forever which beats slugging through a dead-end job. Just then, Black Eyed Pea's I Gotta Feeling raved the speakers.
"Come on, the party starts now!" I exclaimed and urged every one to dance. I took Suraia's hand and lead her to the dancefloor. Emma was all over Dae, while Jo and Ari was just being themselves, fooling around with their dance moves.
****
The instant I hit the pounding dancefloor with Suraia, I couldn't take my eyes off her. She swayed like no other. Her moves did her body some good, accentuating her long legs that ran on for miles and miles. Her hips moved in rapid circular motions during progressions in the song. Her beautifully carved calves stood strong as she jumped up and down through the chorus. Her hair tied back in a ponytail, her bangs let loose above her glasses. I found it cute that she didn't forgo her geeky glasses even in a club. But instead, she made it look fashionable for geeky girls to go clubbing. No offence to geeks but most people tend to turn to the typical club dress code, no matter the status quo. Or at least, even an incling. Suraia's lips pursed into a kiddy pout as she loses herself in the music. She'd open her mouth during the chorus to join the rest of the club singing at the top of our lungs. Songs change, remixes after remixes. We danced closer. In fact, all six of us danced closer. But I had her in my full view that I almost forgot the rest were there, save the ocassional bumps from Jo or Emma.

We danced a lot closer, arms around each other. I could feel her breath on the side of my face. Her wrists loosely hanging at my nape. I could feel my own breathing become heavier. Not only from the oncoming exhaustion of dancing, but this girl's making it hard for me to breathe. I had my arms wrapped around her hips that gyrated against mine, vigorously but subtle. The more I look at her body sway, the more she turned me on. So I turned my attention to her face. The rouge shaped a toothless smile that showed her flushed cheeks. I smile back at her, unknowingly. I looked into her eyes, trying to surpass that glass barrier and into her light brown eyes. They looked intoxicated, most definitely, but they also had a burning desire and a space. The kind of space that reflects how she had given herself up to the music to make her day. And at some points, I saw a girl who doesn't have an excuse, a want or a need to party, because she'd come to a certain content with herself. I found myself craving for her. Craving to achieve what she didn't already know she had achieved. Craving to understand her. Craving to touch her, and even more her soul. But then I closed my eyes, let the music drown my thoughts out, at least just until the current song ended. Then I would pull her out of the club for a smoke. Or two. Or even take her home with me.

As I watched her drag her cigarette so carelessly, I dragged on mine, too. My eyes fixated onto her beauty, her uniqueness, her very presence. She didn't say much. In fact, she was swaying from the alcohol. She struggled to stay still while smoking. I reached out a hand to her & pulled her in towards me, close enough for me to steady her balance. I leaned against the wall to steady both of us. She dragged a long one on the Ice Blast and blew it out and up towards my face. We were almost cuddling now. I looked down at her. Our gaze met. I studied her face for a while. Every inch of her face looked just like the way it did since I saw her just now. It's almost 3am by now.

"Babe, you alright ? Are you high ?" I asked her subtly.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Rey," she managed a smile. Her voice was a little slurred but she sounded forced.

"I just need to...,"

"Do you need to vomit it out?" I was rather concerned.

"No, Rey, I just...uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurk," Suraia burped out loud, the sort like hearing a train pass by. It was too funny not to laugh out loud. She threw a laugh forward and missed a step, which made me whoop her around in order to catch her. She had her back on the wall now. Her hands are on my neck, caressing the little skin there is. Both my hands reached out to pull out her glasses and I let it hang on her vest. Her eyes are so much prettier without the glasses. I kissed each of her eye then I moved down to her lips. I planted a peck, a couple of pecks, and slowly settle into a soft kiss with my lips sinking into her rouge. She opened her mouth a little, I followed suit, breathing into each other just like that - reeking of desire. I kissed her again, pulled her closer to me with one hand supporting her neck. These kisses stayed subtle, with mystery pauses in between. Then grew onto a pace, a faster pace, and yet a faster pace of minimal pauses. I felt her hands move up my back. I let my free hand run down the side of her body, down her thigh. I lifted up her thigh so that her knee was touching my hips. A certain desire exuded from her body as her lower leg curled into my body. I moved away from her lips and onto her cheek, slowly towards her ear. She let out a soft gasp. I left a little kiss trail from her earlobe, down her neck and into her collar bone. My hands were inching up her inner thigh. I felt her body move upwards and inwards, into me. She fed me encouraging grunts of pleasure.

"Ooooh Rey and Suraia gettin' it oooooon," slurred the drunk Ari. The others cooed with her, except Dae, who seemed uncomforable at the sight. She covered it up with a smirk, though. Jo and Ari broke out in Peter Griffin's signature dance move on the Can't Touch This video, laughing at themselves and tripping over each other. Dae sounded rather protective. She merged her threaded eyebrows together, almost as though accusing me. She transferred my grasp on Suraia into her own hands. I couldn't help but notice a disappointment in her that was meant for me. Suraia was slammed. She slurred her words so badly that all of us could only make out one word that escaped her lips, "home". Dae took her home in a cab, leaving Emma hanging. I could see the way she glanced sideways, watching the cab fade into the dark. I had been a little sloshed by then but I could still handle myself. Jo was making fun at Ari's drunkardness, trying hard not to get annoyed. I pushed Jo back into the direction of Lust. I wasn't ready to back down and call it a night. Everyone knew how I never stop partying until the clubs closed. As usual, Emma bounced back into the club with a brand new motive. All she needed to do was shake her behind through hip-hopera and keep her mouth shut, she's one hell of a beauty. The foul-spitting sort of beauty that you'd take home for the sin of it. Those unfortunate ones would drive her home, or even decide to date her. The smarter ones just pay her cab ride back to her mother's house. Don't get me wrong. Emma's a close friend and I love her as much as I love the other five but in every circle of friends, there was always a whore.


CHAPTER 2: STARTING HISTORY

I kissed her cheek as a means of thanks for the ride home, slamming the door shut and waved to a few others in the backseats. Miss Tattoo-ed Neck apparently thought I looked familiar and so we talked a little, most of which I didn't remember. I would figure her name out later since we exchanged numbers already. My head churned the way a stomach should and my top was drenched from all that crunkin'. I broke into a swagger on the way up to the 10th floor. I was too ready to crash. But the day wasn't ready to crash with me yet.

The door wasn't locked. I didn't hear the air-conditioning run. Instead, I heard exchanged whispers, as though they were scripted. Then the grinding of fuelled gears. Those whispers changed into a combustion. Trust Dae to be watching TV at five in the morning, stretched out on the couch watching Discovery Turbo on cable. We exchanged morning greets as I hung my keys, charged my Xperia and settled next to Dae to take off my shoes. She sat up, exposing her bindless small boobs and gave the thumbs up when I asked how Suraia was. Our rented flat sounded echo-ey from the roaring engines and car bumps on TV. She was into it while I just had to sit and smoke to try to sober myself up. I went for a quick shower and had tiny spoonfuls of tuna from the fridge. I meant to walk straight into my room and sleep in my towel. But I sat down for another smoke. We didn't have panadols in the fringe. I noticed how Dae was just too quiet for herself and even in the dim living room, I spotted an empty bottle of Bombay in the bin. I remembered there was at least a quarter left.

"Adeena!"

"What?" Dae replied, after the couch shook from the way I startled her in the middle of her show. Even more so that I called out her birth name. She tapped on her chest, calming herself down.

"You finished the Bombay without me," I replied softly, almost genuinely hurt. It was the last bottle I stocked home from Lust. Well, at least half of it. She managed a cheeky smile and shrugged, but didn't utter a word. I knew that face so well. That kind of smile, those half-opened eyes, those contorted eyebrows, the quietness. She had definitely been drinking the night out. I laughed at her comic face and stumbled into my room to pick up a fresh pack of Ice Blast. The commercial was on anyway. Although at this point, I really didn't hear Dae clicking the TV off or notice that she was right behind me as I turn away from my drawer. Her nose was merely centimetres away from mine. Her breath was gin-fested. Her squinted eyes enlarged a little, big enough to see her very dark brown pupils so clearly.

"Don't scare me like that," I warned, genuinely freaked out from both her sudden and intense presence.

"I'm sorry, baby," that last word made me HUH? out loud that I even threw in a cocked eyebrow.

"Dae, chill. You know gin's not your drink. Come on, I'll walk you to your bed," I offered. But as soon I took a grip on her shoulders to steer her out, Dae's body locked for a beat or two, before she took parts of my back and took me into her bare chest. I thought,

"Yeah, okay, goodnight hug, sure," so I hugged back. But it didn't stop at that. Dae lifted my chin up, closed her eyes and kissed my lips. I took hers in, enjoying that split second touch.

"Okay...weeeeee-ird," I pulled away and pulled the same WTF face. Forcefully turning her body, I took her out of my room and into hers.

"In my bed, huh?" Dae slurred. The grin on her face then turned annoying. My head built up on the throb from using the little force I had left carrying her leaning weight. I laid her down on her bed, but she pulled me on top of her. She reached up to kiss me again. I took it in again.

But this time, it lasted longer. Much, much longer. The soft kisses eventually grew intense, lips pressing hard into each other. There was a constant alarm in my head that screamed, "WTF! WTF!" right about now and all throughout this whole time. My hands were pressed into the mattress, holding myself up as Dae's explored my upper body. Tongues, initially merely teasing, were now having their own sex in our mouths. It didn't take her long to move down my lower half. I pulled my mouth away, yet again, but she caught up. I pushed her shoulders back in an attempt to break away from her touch. She rolled me over so she was on top now, anchoring me down with her weight and pressed her kisses harder on me. She traced a finger up my inner thigh, leaving a tingling feeling that provoked my legs to slightly part. Her lips left mine and embarked on yet another trail towards my bust as she unwrapped my towel. Although it felt rather weird laying bare naked in her eyes, in her room and on her bed, I allowed her to touch me all over. Her tongue tickled my skin as she took my nipple into her mouth. My fingers playfully scratch her skin, from behind her ear, down her neck, across her collarbone and down to her small breasts. I circled her nipples, she let out a little heave. When her feminine fingers ventured between my labia, my own fingers ventured between hers. Those captured moments made history that very morning, having sex on her bed. A history to be left untold, or so we thought.



CHAPTER 3: DAMMIT, EMMA

The little frustrated voice in my head wanted the world to shut the fuck up and leave me alone. Little did I realize, that world I tried to shut up was just an annoying earshot away. That prize shriek didn't only echo through the roof, but rung in every one of my nerve. I thought I felt myself jolt up in a fit, but I merely managed to lift my heavy head off the pillow before letting it sink right back in. I couldn't make out her rush of words. My squint was almost successful but I was so convinced the lights were out. I didn't realize how close her face was until my cheeks felt damp - in specks. I tried to sit up so I could push her face away and make sense of the racquet. I gave up that very second.

"WHAT KIND OF A NIGHTMARE IS THIS?" her breath huffed down at me. The door slammed. A few hard clicks of heels. Another slam. Silence. A sudden gush of chilly air. I really believed it was a mere nightmare and she just happened to be in it.

****
An arm slung over my waist, a body closed into me. A peck on my lips, a proper kiss. Proper kisses. Proper, satisfied, soft kisses. Although my eyes were still closed, I was awake enough to be aware of these motions, and gave it right back. Every single move. But Paramore decided to scream out of the phone. We both sleepily grunted.

"Hello?" I heard her mutter. "Oh, hold on," her phone was passed to me, while she got up to leave the room.

"Get up. It's urgent," the caller was rather stern. "Huh, who the f...? Why?"

"It's Jo. Get up. I need you to tell me something," she said. Reluctantly, I complied.

"All I have is three questions," her pause gave me time to wake up a little more. "Sit up. Answer me accurately."

"Shoot."

"What's on the floor?"

"Are you fucking serious?"

"WHAT's on the floor?"

"Clothes...boxer shorts...towel...my thong."

"Whose boxer shorts?"

"Dae's."

"Look down at your vagina. What's missing?"

"My thong, d'oh." I answered too confidently. Jo stopped talking, and suddenly, I grew out a pair of eyes.

"FUCK," was all I could afford to say.

"Good Morning to you, too." She hung up. I leaned back into the wall and buried my head in my palms. The words "shit" and "fuck" worked out a compromise that day, systematically appearing one after the other in my head and at the tip of my tongue.

"Hey," Dae was leaned against the bedroom door, arms folded and bare naked. She looked at me, straight in the face. I notice those eyes again, those playfully mischevous eyes that still had the ability to calm others. So I did. Three seconds into each other's gaze, we both giggled silently.

"Fuck," I said again, face buried in my face, stung in complete confusion.

"Yeah, you can say that again"

"Fuck," and yet I was quietly smiling. She planted a kiss on my hands, my fingertips then took them into her hand. We kissed soft bouncy kisses and pushed me back into the sheets.

"We'll get there," she whispers.


Chapter 4: JO, SOS.

I came loose of her hand over my body, pushing the duvet down, pulling myself out of her space but not entirely. I plucked a cigarette out of Dae's stash & lit it as I walked over to her window. Slowly, I pulled the blinders only halfway up, so that I won't wake her up too quickly. My left hand reached out to a miniature toilet bowl, a souvenir ash tray from our trip random trips to Cash Converters, a second-hand buy/sell store. We had gone there multiple times over the years. Most of the time we just happened to pass by & dropped in. All our friends never understood the existence of the store. Neither did they find any interest to visit it or have any interest in it at all. Cash Converters saw us through the times we were too broke to even afford a lamp in the living room or even to feed ourselves for a day. All the memories of our time in that store just kept running in my head at the same rate my life deteriorated with every puff. I exhaled a long drag & did a double take at how my clothes fell in a bunch with Dae's on the floor. I didn't want to believe the reality of it but the smell of her pussy on my finger tips was proof I can't take back what had unfurled.

How in the fucking world could I have done that?! How the hell did I end up fucking my best friend?! Nevermind that. But in HER bed? Those weren't the only questions weighting for answers. How the hell did Jo know?
How the hell was I supposed to face this? How was I supposed to face her? Dae wasn't just a best friend. She was my housemate, we lived together. We hung out with each other a lot. Hell, we share the same circle of friends. I don't know if I should feel weird about it or feel grossed out. She was like a sister I never had. Fucking incest.

Stubbing out on the toilet bowl, I picked up my stuff & starting punching out a text on my Xperia.
"Jo, SOS. ME & DAE? WTF." Bzzz Bzzz.

"Gimme an hour. DYMK." I took a quick shower & was gone long before Dae could sense my movements.
*****

DYMK was a place we were all regulars at. It stands for Does Your Mother Know? which was a great play with acronyms with a subtle pun encrypted. We had all met there initially a few years ago & never once have we switched to a different bar. But more than that, DYMK was a place we'd frequent almost everyday, be it alone or with the rest, be it after work or in between, be it to celebrate or seek consolation for heartbreak. DYMK deemed a place we all called home, a lot like our version of The Planet from The L Word, just gay-er. No, seriously. There are many more gay men around than gay women, but it never bothered us. In times of retreat & hanging out, we were more than glad to count out all the dyke drama that the clubs were packed with.

By the time I arrived, Jo was already there on the stool at the side of the bar. A girl was chatting her up, a usual scene. I mean, why wouldn't it be? She was gorgeous. Tonight her hair was tousled, slightly unruly. The light hit her hair at odd angles, revealing the depth of her really dark blue hair. Her figure was almost perfect, exaggerated actually, in acid-wash jeggings, platform heels & a tight tank top, showing off some cleavage, a lot like a girl next door. I remember the first time I saw her, right in that same stool about 4 years ago.

She looks pretty much the same back then, only her make up was far more elaborate because she was into the pin-up stuff. She still carries that commercial smile, which I thought she had perfected by practicing in the mirror for years. She still has those seductive eyes, the kind that looks at you & says You can never have me but try anyway. Intriguing, encouraging, charming. She had a kind of knowing things just by observation and that's what drive people into desiring her. People desire to know what goes on in her head, how the world is seen through her eyes, how it feels to have control over someone's gaze.

I was one of her victims. I fell into her stance. Her eyes did all the talking, calling out to me, searching, reaching out to me. I was drawn to her by all that she had to offer. Clam-shaped eyes popped from the lashes that seemed extended by a Maybelline product. The colour of her eyes that night was hazel brown. I found out later how absurd it was that they were mere coloured contact lenses because it fit her skin & her face almost too perfectly. So I put myself out there that night, plucked enough courage to buy her a drink, get her chatting & maybe take her home to my single bed. But damn, she had me good.

Her glossy lips stretched into a firm, friendly smile. Jo placed her hand on top of mine & stroked my knuckles with her thumb.

"Babe, thanks for your offer but I'm as straight as your mother before she found your dad such a bore," she kissed my cheek. Fuck. Her wit made me want to fall for her.

I felt my face flush for the first time in my entire life. I was utterly embarrassed at how I assumed she was a lipstick lesbian just because it was a gay bar & because I was too eager to make something out of my visit there. She smiled again & reached out her right hand.

"Let's start over. You must be new around here. I'm Jo," she shook my hand.

"Hey, Jo. I'm Reema Rauzan,"

"Now that's a mouthful, isn't it?"

"Oh, I mean, I'm called Rey for short."

It wasn't all that awkward the whole night. We found a common bonding - being automatically labeled femme, mistaken for being straight & vice versa, Shiseido eyeliner & surprisingly, we went to the same polytechnic. Apparently she's a year older.

"You're that girl who threw a drink at the canteen speakers cos you thought the school's DJ had a shit voice, right?" she recalled.

"Oh god, she was awful. She was so self-indulgent. Like who the hell cares about what kind of nail polish she uses or which colour looks best on her? What the fuck?"

"That DJ was me," she replied, nodding lightly with a smile that ached.

I died a little. I felt like burying a hole right under my feet so I could just drop in & never come out until Jo left. I felt like such an idiot talking to a hot girl like that. But she found it amusing & later revealed that it was the most honest reaction & feedback she'd ever heard from a listener back in school. Even her friends were cheering her on, supporting her through it but they never really gave a definite or constructive feedback to work on. My brutal honesty was what made her stick with me through the years. Her mindfucking wit was what made me want her to be in my life forever. With both our selling points entwined, we're the most warped people you'll ever know of. She's a person with strong intuition, that sometimes she can blurt it all out before a person even starts forming sentences in her head. Jo was a keeper. We both knew how we functioned, how we operated our lives, how we're never planners but addicts for great moments. & yet, we were complete opposites.
****

I caught myself breathing back into reality when I noticed Jo waving at me vigorously from where she was. She let me settle onto the stool next to hers & order a drink.

"Fresh out the oven?" I cocked my head in the direction of the girl who tried to chat her up earlier. I let out a little laugh.

"Straight sugar lovin'?" she cocked an eyebrow at me, her eyes locked on me & a cheeky smile formed on her lips. I blinked. Hard. Multiple times. Damn it. I should've known better than to start off with a J.Lo tune coming in there. I let my head drop to the bar top. Jo reached a hand out to ruffle the back of my hair & pulled my body into hers for a hug. My order arrived, so she let up. I took down the dry whiskey in a gulp but regretted it the instant I felt the bitterness burn at the back of my throat. I ordered an ice cold Heineken instead & took it halfway through. Jo was just sipping on her cocktail, watching me shrivel in my confusion & how appalled I was for losing my grounded sense of control the night before. We looked at each other, almost instantaneously, then burst out laughing so hard that we were clutching our stomachs for life. Jo was heaving, almost wheezing that I thought she'd need her inhaler. I coughed for air, then gulped back the beer.

"Was she good?" Jo probed.

"Damn she's topping the charts," I caught myself pushing my tongue into my mouth's wall to conceal a smile that was creeping up.

"All that suppressed quiet nature....."

"Turned into some monstrous...."

"Muffmunchin'," we both struck out the same muffled pronounciation, with hands shaped out into a Subway classic, pretending to munch in the air between our mouths & hands. We laughed a little longer.

"How'd you know anyway?" I asked.

"Emma was raging all over twitter," at this point I could only imagine how flooded the timeline was, "& I'm guessing you haven't checked your feed." I slid out my Xperia & launched my twitter feed. I clicked on @reyr only to realize I was mentioned 15 times, out of which 12 was by @emgotu. I scrolled through all 12 tweets. One in particular, got my entire attention.

I fucking knew it. FUCKING KNEWWWWW IT DAMMIT. FUCK YOU @reyr FUCK YOU @snapadae

It struck a whole new depth of seriousness. Not only did I realize she was the annoying voice I thought was my nightmare, but the fact that she got hurt seeing someone else next to Dae in bed instead of her. It made it worse that it was me. All the trust she had in Dae living with me, all the times she convinced herself that Dae & I were merely friends living under one roof were now banished as far as she was concerned. The long overdue iffiness and doubt she had swallowed back for Dae's sake, was now rightfully vomited out onto me. Heat crept up my body & hit my head. I was rather angry at Emma for assuming shit like that. What did she know? Hell, even I didn't see it coming. It wasn't fair how she accused me in all her other tweets, how she trusted me & Dae only to find out we fucked. It wasn't fair to me how she hauled at me, weighting the blame on me for what has happened. She knew it? What the fuck did she know? No one knew the true flow of the episode. Dae & I swore to that only because we knew it would be too awkward to describe to the others when they found out. I felt a stronger heat surging through my body. I had enough of Emma's two-faced, biased, victimized ass.
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