Eaglesnest

Melanie went to grab a carry basket at exactly the same moment that another hand reached for it. “Sorry you have it” said Melanie.
         “Stop being so nice” said her friend Libby. “ You are always apologising and giving way. You should have fought me for that basket”.
         “Hi Libby” said Melanie. “What happened to 'don't sweat the small stuff and it's all small stuff”? “Hey, look there's a stand of cashew nuts and it says they are grown in Sri Lanka.”
         “And this is relavent because...?” said Libby.
         “ Because I've always loved cashew nuts and it never says on the packet where they are grown. It is one of the worlds great unanswered philisophical questions.” She grabbed a couple of bags and threw them into her basket. I can't wait to see Travis tonight. It seems like he has been away so long. Some of his University friends are coming up to stay with us as well. I am so proud of him going to University and studying Science. I am so lucky.”
         “God I hope you aren't going to be like this tonight at the barbecue. Travis will be sick. You should write a speech about how 'comfortably off' you are and how you are so blessed to have such a darling son and loving husband. Then everyone at the barbecue will get sick. You have become obssessed with having the perfect family and home. Do you make Miles groom himself before he comes in the house so he doesn't make it look messy?”
         “I'm not that bad” said Melanie. Am I? She thought. God I have spent the last two weeks looking for the perfect coffee table and I sent some photos to House and Garden magazine. What am I doing? Libby's right, I am obsessed with having the perfect home and family. Shit, what will Libby say when she finds out about House and Garden magazine. I have to cancel it. What am I doing? How long has it been since I've written some music? I was sitting in the garden writing that song about the traveller. My God, Travis was a toddler. How did this happen?
         Melanie said to Libby “I had better get going. I still have a lot of cooking to do. I just whipped out to get some oranges for a New York cheesecake. I'll see you tonight.”
         “Okay” said Libby. “I'm bringing Pinot Gris. See you later.”
         Melanie breathed a sign of relief. She needed to think. She grabbed the oranges and left the supermarket. Outside there were two women sitting against the wall of the supermarket. They were both overweight and had badly dyed hair and they are wearing jeans with the bottoms all scuffed and torn. Their boobs were sagging under their cheap t-shirts and obviously cheaper bras. They are txting, talking and smoking. They are so scruffy. Melanie tenses up and her stomach starts to hurt. She quickly turns away from them. They make her angry. Yuck, how can they let themselves get like that? They are disgusting. They are probably single mothers on the dpb. She shrugs them off and gets into her car but she still feels sick. It is so annoying when people like that wreck your day. She should never have gone to Pak and Save. Poor people shop there and it always depresses her to see poverty. She will drive the extra distance and go to New World next time.
         Why am I feeling so bad, she thought. I need some peace. Melanie decided to drive up to her favourite place called eaglesnest as it always made her feel relaxed and peaceful. Eaglesnest was a lookout on the road to her home. It had a majestic view and made you feel like a part of nature. What was it about those women that upset her so much? 
         She pulled up on the opposite side of the road at a layby on a sharp corner. There was a police car parked there. A police officer is filming. Melanie gave her a fright. “Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you” Melanie said. The woman police officer put her camera down. “Thats okay.” Then the police officer yells down at a woman “get back up here”. Melanie leaned over the rebut and looked down. Eaglesnest is on the side of a hill about five hundred feet high. There is a rebut there that is a comfortable height to lean over and still feel very safe. There is a large sloping slab outcrop of rock directly below. There was an older woman with blonde short hair laying on a large blanket with a boy that looked about four or five. The rock had quite a steep slope so you had to lay quite still to stay in one place without sliding down it. It is hard to keep yourself there and you keep slipping down. The woman is overweight, scruffily dressed and her hair is badly dyed. The boy keeps sliding down the rock towards the drop at the bottom. The woman is sliding too while she tries to grab him. She yells “Alan stop that and get back up here.?” There is no fear in her voice, it is more that the boy is being annoying. Why do they lie down there? Is her life so horrible that she doesn't care what happens to her? Is she so self-absorbed that she doesn't think about her son? Maybe she climbs out there to get the peosote which grows on the edge of the rock. Melanie's mind flashs back to a house where two sisters are arguing over some pills. A police officer is trying to take the pills off them but as the police officer tries to empty the two containers into his hands the girls manage to grab a couple each. The police officer says “don't take them, they will stuff you up.” The girls shove them in their mouths and run away giggling. One of the girls wants to go to school but the other sister diverts her into doing something else and they don't go. It is a beautiful summers day and they head off to the beach to drink and get stoned and lie on the grass by the beach.
         Melanie can't believe what the woman is doing. She had been bought up by neglectful parents in a house drowning in poverty, alcohol, drugs and violence and she hadn't turned out like this. She can't imagine how bad she would feel if she didn't care about living anymore. Melanie realises how safe and secure she feels in her life and how lucky she is to feel like this. She knows that this woman could have easily been her if things hadn't gone as well as they did.
         Melanie remembered back ten years earlier and knew why the woman had crawled out onto the rock. Ten years ago it was Melanie out on the rock picking the peosote. What did the woman on the rock want out of life? She wanted peace, happiness and beauty. There was no way to get that so she drank and took drugs. She was only happy when she was out of it. She was a single Mum. She couldn't get a good job. She thought she was useless. There was no hope of getting out. She only cared about obliterating the horrible world. She hated people who tried to give her advice about how she ought to live. They didn't know what it was like. What was it like? She always slept for as long as she could. That got rid of part of the day. She didn't want to wake up. There was never anything to wake up for. There were always bills she couldn't pay. There were always men who treated her badly but provided some security and financial support or drugs. She thought she was too ugly and stupid to get a good man. She just took what she could get. She tried with her son but she had enough problems herself and couldn't deal with him. She didn't want him but she did love him. She was quite mean to him sometimes. He was always hungry and he hardly ever had any nice treat or present. He never gave her a minutes peace. She thought it would be nice to have money and live in a nice safe house with a good husband. This was never going to come true for her. She didn't even bother dreaming of it like she did when she was a teenager. She had some hopes and dreams then but she left it too late. She was angry and self-destructive. She didn't care about anything anymore. She didn't have any more money for drugs and she had to get away. This had been Melanie's life up until she met Miles and everything changed. They got married and she was safe. She forgot about her past and threw herself into making the perfect home and family that she had always dreamed about.
         Melanie crawled out over the rebut and onto the rock. 'Aroha, I'm so sorry I forgot about you. I was safe and I had a good life. I didn't want you to wreck everything. How could I have forgotten about my own sister?'