Now what?

So im sitting here thinking of how u feel. do you still love me? i kno i screwed up... i shouldnt be saying that.... i kno i shouldnt ... but i cant help but think that i may have did something wrong. Ok Rhonda you did nothing wrong it wasnt your fault he left because he wanted a way out.... but what now? where do i go from here? you say lets give it time ... but i have no patience.... i need patience to be my best friend... but im anxious .... anxitey is the devil i feel it breathing a evil breath inside my head.... i need clearance..... but we speak and its like u dont even wanna talk.. i love you so much ... i miss u so bad not even words can explain.. everything about you ... it seems the memories are never too far from the front of my mind . all i think about it you. shouldnt be so .... i feel so dumb ... but i shouldnt .. wht now? wat do i do sit here and wait til you feel like talking seriously about what is really gonna happen?... i mean i wanna attack you... i wanna kno y you broke up wit me in a text? you never respected me enuff? you didnt think i was better than a text, my god!! then your gonna ask me if im with someone else one frggin week after we broke up . I mean cmon what kinda girl do you take me for?!!!!
I dont kno ... i never felt this strong about anyone...
But time is the element that controls or feelings our emotions our attitudes our Lives..... but still im sitting here trying to figure out how to get you outta my head... how to erase these memories ... its like ur not even hurting at all
or maybe i wouldnt kno