Passion

Passion

         Marvin Knowles hated his job with a passion one would normally reserve for someone such as Bernie Madoff. In fact, if Knowles hated anyone more than burgers and fries, it was Madoff. He had entrusted everything he had owned with the man, only to have it evaporate, like a fine mist, before his very eyes.

Often during his sleepless nights, between thoughts of taxes, and rent, he would ponder his situation had he not trusted Madoff. He would be on a beach, his beach, in the Hamptons, with a Paghani in his driveway, no, that was wrong, he would have an entire parking garage of Italian cars. That was the life, and he would have had it.

But no, he was working at a no-name fast food chain, earning minimum wage, taking the bus to work, and dirt broke. To make matters worse the movie theater right next door to the restaurant was being remodeled, and all day one could hear the noises associated with such work. First in the morning, then, at noon, they would stop for a time only to restart after a brief hiatus, even louder than before, which would only continue until the evening when the workers would finally go home for the day, only to start the cycle again the next day.

There were days, and there were times, when all he wanted was to retreat from the world. He had no reason to stay live anymore. His girlfriend had left him, his estates were in shambles, and his social life was no better...

“Hey mister, you can’t walk there.” The loud voice cut into his reverie. “The sidewalks off-limits now, didn’t you see the sign.”

Signs… he thought to himself …he had not seen any. Marvin sighed and-

Loud grinding noises, some sort of crash, whiteness, a man’s voice shouting, a woman’s voice screaming, blackness, a child crying, sirens… more blackness…

_____

         “I’ll see you tonight then Christina,” Came the voice, belonging to her boyfriend.

         “I’ve gotta go, you know how it is.” She said into the phone.

         “Yeah I do, it’s the same here. The Captain’s got me taking witness statements, I swear he hates me.”

         “Jeff, you know he doesn’t… Seeya”

         “Seeya”

         She hung up the phone with a sigh. She had patients to check up on. Some were pleasant, some were harsh, and others were needy. Nursing was hardly a glamorous career.

_____

         The primary feature of the room in which he awoke was it’s odor. The air was clean, there were no other words capable of describing it. 

         “Glad to see you’re awake.” He eyes fluttered open, standing above him was a young woman, blonde, and dressed in scrubs. She was beautiful and appeared to be in her late twenties..  “Quite the nasty accident you had.”

         “Wh-what happened,” he was groggy and could barely speak.

         “I understand you were on the sidewalk outside of your work when scaffolding fell on you. That was… three days ago now I think. It’s good you’re awake, you got lucky, most people would be in a coma.”

         “Coma?” He asked, confused.”

         “Uh-huh, I’ll get a doctor to look in on you. If you need anything- do you see that button- press that and I’ll come running. My name is Christina Pierce.”

         And with that, she left…

_____

         He had been trying to garner the courage all day. But had thus far failed. Five times already she had come to his room. The first two times, she had been doing her job, checking up on him. The third, fourth, and fifth instances he had been forced to come up with trivial reasons to summon her to his room. And in every case, he had failed to ask her the question burning in his brain, and seated upon he edge of his tongue.  He kept telling himself she would say “no” and that stopped him. If she said “no” things would get awkward, and he would remain uncomfortable here for the next two days, until his scheduled discharge.

         Here she was now, walking into his room, and he still had not thought of what he would tell her as his reason for summoning her. Perhaps the blinds, yes that was it, he would tell her the blinds needed to be closed.

         “Hey Marvin, you called.”

         “Uh, yes, the, uh, blinds need to be closed.”

         “Cool, I can get that.”

         He watched her as she walked across the room, her feet slapping against the tiled floor. Beautifully.  Her every move was perfect.

         Now was his chance, if he wanted to ask her, he would have to do it now

         She was closing the blinds when he said “Would you like to love me.”

         But she said nothing in return. Maybe she did not hear him. What if she was ignoring him? Should he say it again? Should he say it louder?

`”Christina, err, Ms. Piece, once I am discharged, would you, umm, I mean, would you like to go on a date, like, umm, romantically.”

         “I am not allowed to date patients.” Was her only reply. She finished with the blinds, and left.

_____

         Today was had been his last day in the hospital, he was leaving now, and had just called a cab to take him home. He was going to ask her again, since he was no longer a patient, she would say yes. She had to say yes, he had seen how she looked at him, with love and lust. He was perfect for her, and she was just, perfect.

         “We’re gonna miss you Mr. Knowles, it’s been a pleasure having you with us.”

         “I’ll miss you guys too, although I can’t say the same for the food.” He laughed here, no one else did, “Hey do you know where Christina is right now.”

         “Ms. Pierce,” asked the nurse at the desk.

         “Yes.”

         “She needed a cigarette so she went outside, you can probably catch her as you leave.”

         “Thank you,” he said.

         The elevator ride to the lobby was only three floors, but it felt longer, and the music was driving him insane.  To his ears, the only real music was the little “ding” when the doors opened.

         And there she was, just outside the doors, leaning against a pillar, a trail of smoke wafting from her hand as she brought it up to her mouth. He normally found such a habit distasteful, but it only added to her charm.

         He half skipped, half ran, through the sliding glass doors, ‘Christina,” he called out “I love you.”

         She looked around, but she did not look back.

         “Christina,” he stopped behind her, “I love you, and I asked you before, ‘would you like to love me’ but you said no,” she turned around now, pity in her eyes, “You said you couldn’t, that I was a patient. But now, I’m not, so please, do you want to go on a date Friday night?”

         “Oh, oh Marvin.” The pity from her eyes filled her words, “I’m so sorry, but that’s my fiancé, over there,” and she pointed, “I’m sorry.” And as she said that a plume of smoke drifted from her mouth into his face.  “Really, I am.” She said this last bit to his back, he was already running, a single tear streaming down the left side of his face. And as it struck the ground, the rain began falling in sheets.

         “Who was that,” asked Jeff, approaching to cover her with an umbrella.

         “It was nobody.”

_____

         He had been outside of her apartment all night, waiting for her to appear.  He had needed her, and she had destroyed him. He had lost three times already, and would not fail again. Marvin absentmindedly scratched his ankle. Two weeks ago he had followed her into a park, and had hidden in a patch of poison ivy. That had been his first time watching her, he had since become more adapt at his new profession.

         A taxi appeared at the end of the street , Christina had to be in it. Out of fifty-four people who live on this street, twelve of them had left their homes tonight. Of those twelve, only Christina had left alone, in a taxi. And everyone had returned already, except Christina.

         The cab drew near, and Christina exited. Even with the light of a single streetlamp located half a block down the street, he could see she was beautiful.

          The cab drove away, and he made his move. “Christina,” he shouted as she tried to unlock her door, “You are mine Christina.” She dropped her key and began doffing furiously in her bag. “You’re alone and you’re mine.” They were within feet of each other, but she still had not turned around.

         Marvin laughed, and felt the gun in his hand. It was not loaded, and he did not intend to use it. The weapon would serve merely as a means of coercion.

         “You will go with me now,” he said, and she spun around, brandishing a spray bottle.

         “D-d-d-don’t move,” she stammered, “I will use this.”

         “No you won’t,” His arm extended, and the black metal in his hand gleamed. “Now drop the spray,” she did so, “and the purse.”

         “Please don’t hurt me. Please, I’m engaged. Due to be married next week. Please.”

         “Drop the purse, NOW!” She complied and he stepped forward.

         “Wait… you’re that patient… the creepy one.”

         “I am NOT CREEPY!” He reached forward, his hand came in contact with her skirt, and he pulled.  She fell forward, and her head hit the pavement, as lights flickered on in the complex across the street.

         Marvin checked her pulse, she was still alive! That was good, he would take her now, and they would go to his apartment, and they would live, happily, together. No one would come between them, least of all her cop boyfriend.

_____

         The first sound she made was a groan. It was a beautiful groan, a low rumble, it was perfect. Marvin played that sound in his head over and over until Christina opened her eyes. “Hello.”Her eyes went wide and she crawled away, falling off the bed, and huddling in the far corner of the room. “Would you like some food? I have your favorite, rocky road ice cream.”

         He stood there, spoon in one hand, pint in the other, as she whimpered. She was vulnerable now, and he found it pleasantly cute, her pretending to be afraid of him. They were soul mates, he knew that, and she would know it soon. They were perfect for each other!

         “I’m going to leave your food here if you want it. I suppose you could leave it, but then it would melt…”

         She did not move, but merely stayed in the fetal position, in the room’s corner.

         “I’ll be back later. There’s a television in the next room if you want to watch anything. I could not afford the phone bill, so the phones are all disconnected… Also, we are not in the best of neighborhoods, hence the bars, and the locked doors. I just ask that you not leave the apartment… Everything is for your own protection. You understand I’m sure.”

         She looked up, her eyes red, and tears streaking down her face. She said nothing and merely looked at Marvin, with what he perceived to be a glance filled with the utmost affection.

         “I have to go to work, I’ll be back soon.” He walked towards her and leaned down, trying to plant a kiss her on the forehead. She made a half strangled squeal and backed away. Marvin sighed, turned, and left. She would love him too… In time…

_____

         Christina waited in the corner until the creeper finally left. She got up and looked at the half melted ice cream, then shook her head. She had seen a movie once where a girl had been kidnapped and drugged by7 her captors. Christina would not let that happen here.

         She walked into the hallway, which led out to a small kitchen cum dining room cum living room. A TV rested upon a small entertainment center situated against the far wall. On the other side of the room was a small table with two chairs. And in the kitchen was a knife block!

         Christina walked over and pulled one out. It was a long fillet knife, perfect for her needs. Next, she wandered around the small apartment until she found the door, trying, she found it was bolted, and, without a key, she could not open it from the inside.

         Sighing she made her way to the phone in the other room. But, as she quickly discovered upon putting the transceiver up to her ear, the line was dead.

         She would have to wait now, wait until that awful man returned, at which time she would disable her captor, and escape.

         Going back into the bedroom Christina curled up into a ball on the floor, gripping the knife in her left hand. Eventually, tears came, unbidden, to her face.

_____

         Marvin was late, which was bad, he had, after all, a fiancé to provide now for. And even if he was not the one who gave her the ring she kept upon her finger, they were soul mates, which meant she was his, no matter what.

         In his arms were two heavy pharmacy bags, filled with frozen dinners for the two of them to enjoy together. He whistled as he walked down the street, late or not, life had become good.

_____

         She heard the door open, and tensed. She would fight, and she would win, and she would then escape. “I’m home honey, and I brought dinner.” Christina stayed silent, she would wait, and she would attack. “Honey? Are you okay?”She heard him set the bags down and begin to walk down the small hallway.

         “Honey?” Christina saw the doorknob turn, and her grip on the fillet knife tightened even further. “Honey?” The door opened, and Christina charged, holding the knife above her head, as she screamed.

         And then she found herself on the floor, with the knife in Marvin’s hand. “It’s okay honey, don’t be afraid. L-lets just turn in early tonight. Come to bed…” He dropped the knife, which fell, point first, into the wood floor, where it stayed, quivering.

         Marvin then bent down to pick her up, “Come on honey,” he kept repeating in a soothing voice, “Come on.” Christina tried to scream as Marvin gagged her, but all that came out was a strangled gurgle. 

_____

         It had been two weeks to the day that Christina had gone missing, today would have been their wedding, but instead he was at a table in a dim bar, the modern version of Degas’ L’absinthe. By tonight his vision would be as obscure as Cezanne’s had been when he painted View of Mount Sainte-Victoire from Lauves.

         Jeff figured that he was ten shots away from forgetting the voice of Christina’s Mother when he telephoned her to tell her of what had transpired. After that he would be five shots away from forgetting the blood they had found outside of the apartment was Christina’s. Soon, he would be too far gone to remember anything at all.

_____

         He was twenty shots gone, and for some obscure reason, Jeff could still remember every detail of the day after Christina had disappeared.

         He recalled waking up, and calling Christina, so that they could share their dreams, but she had not answered the phone. He had ridden his large form had made it a comical sight. Jeff, at  six foot six, had been  balancing on a small, bright red bicycle, left  hand on a handlebar, the other holding a phone up to his ear, he fell off twice, but it was all for Christina, and she was worth the world.

         That brought to mind sitting at his desk, filling out reports, when one of his buddies came up to him and said they had found blood on the stoop at 1231, Ninetieth Street, Christina’s place. He could recall with crystal clarity when George, his buddy, had told him the blood was Christina’s, that the neighbors had heard screaming, and that Christina was nowhere to be found.

         He remembered everything, but in the morning, he would not remember remembering. So he would return, and he would once more try to forget. But he would remember. Jeff would remember everything from every day that he still kept Christina’s ring, found in a gutter outside of her apartment, within his breast pocket.

_____

         He was not suffering from the effects of alcohol, but he was not sober. Jeff was drunk on tears, and he was standing, on the West Bridge above the river, holding the ring in his hands, with tears running down his face, which only adding to his inebriation.

         He was crying because he knew he would never forget, he would remember everything. Christina had been burned into his mind and the only way to forget would be to stop his mind, which he could never do because he was too scared. So instead he found himself standing on a bridge, cars zooming past, with his teardrops and the rain hitting the river below together.

         Ever twenty minutes or so Jeff would whisper, “I’m sorry, I am so damn sorry.” But he was speaking only to the wind, rain, and rusted metal of the suspension cables.

         Time passed. Four hours turned into nine, and the rain let up as the sun went down. Nine hours turned to fifteen, and Jeff sat down, leaning his back against the cables to sleep. Fifteen became twenty which became twenty four. And as that day ended so did the others on that bridge. Jeff would only leave to visit the local convenience store to purchase liquor, or stop at the street vendor to pick up a bagel.

         This was his life now. He had no one, no job, and he would have no life were he not such a coward.

_____

         It had been a solid month since he had first begun coming to the bridge, and Jeff’s credit card, off which he had been subsisting, had been cancelled due to his inability to pay it’s fees. This had left him with but one choice, to steal.

         This need had led him to the convenience store, stuffing Twinkies and beer bottles into his jacket. And it was that action which had landed him in a holding cell.

         Footstep’s sounded at the end of the hallway, and they grew closer. Looking up Jeff’s eyes met those of his old partner. “Oh Jeff,” the newcomer said, “Oh, oh my. Umm, we’re gonna get you outa here. Wow, umm, whoa. It’s gonna be fine, um wow. Are you okay, do you, umm, we should prolly get you, umm, washed up. Lemme umm, I’ll help you get home.”

         “Foreclosed.”

         “That’s, umm, that’s okay. I’ll umm, take you to uhh, my place then, oh wow, dude, wow.”

         “No need. I can take care of myself.”

         “Obviously not dude, I mean, whoa…”

         “I said no. Just get me outa here man.” Jeff’s voice began to take on a whiny qualityu. “You gotta get me outa here, I gotta find her. I just gotta man, she’s my life, and, and-“

         “It’ll be okay dude, we’ll umm, yeah…”

         “NO, it won’t be okay. SHE IS EVERYTHING TO ME. I gotta find her man, I just gotta, she-“

         “Lower your voice.”

         “NO I will not!” Jeff approached the bars, “I gotta go, I gotta, it’s important man, I gotta-“

         “It’s okay, I talked to the capn’ he’ll give you your job back-“

         “DAMMIT Carl,” Jeff grabbed his friends jacket through the bars, and pulled, “I HAVE TO FIND HER, dammit,”

         “Let me go.” Carl’s face was pressed tight to the bars.

         “I WILL NOT,” yet as he said this Jeff’s grip loosened, “I won’t, I won’t, I won’t. I CAN”T.” Falling to the floor Jeff rocked back and forth, tears streaming down his face, “I can’t”

         “I know, it’ll be okay man, relax”

         “No,” a whisper, “I just can’t.”

_____

         “I’m home honey!”

         “Ahh,” Christina ran towards Marvin, and threw her arms around him, “I missed you.”

         “It’s okay, I’m home now,” he said, disengaging himself from her embrace, “How was your day?”

         “You know how it was,” she replied, pouting.

         “Tell me about it.”

         “Well,” she paused here, as though for dramatic effect, “ I woke up around eight.”

         “What did you eat.”

         “Hmm, I didn’t.” Marvin raised one eyebrow, but she continued, “Then watched TV till around ten or so, when I fixed myself an early lunch, a ham and cheese sandwich, and then I went back to the TV.”

         “What did you watch?”

         “Oh, you don’t wanna know that.”

         “I do, honest.”

         “Bravo, some sort of hair show.”

         “Was it good?”

         “Of course not, nothing’s good without you.”

         It had been two years since they had moved in together, and Christina had really come around to love him. Marvin thought they could go out and see a movie, or visit a museum, or eat at a fancy restaurant next week…

_____

         Today was Jeff’s first full day out of rehab, and it was his first day back at work.  He was nervous, and, having found himself in a situation similar to that of a young child on Christmas Eve, was unable to sleep the previous night.

         Last week, he had talked with the captain, who had promised Jeff his job back, and warned him that he would be on traffic duty for the foreseeable future.

         That was okay though, it did not matter. Jeff would direct cars, and he would be content. He had a job now and could reconstruct his old life… With Christina! He would look at every passerby, and in every car window, until he found her, and they would live, again, happily together…

_____

         Today they were visiting Jacques, a posh, upscale, French restaurant on the south side of the city, for lunch. It was the most expensive Marvin could afford, and, to save money, he and Christina were walking.  “I’m so glad,” She had said when they were preparing to leave, “We finnally get to go out together.” He had said nothing in return…







____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________



         This is, naturally, a rough draft. It is, primarily, unedited. Suggestions would be helpful if you wish. I also ask that you not reproduce this without my permission… For security reasons – I actually have I story which I have been meaning to type up in which a student, much like myself, is forced to leave college because he did something similar to this and his work was claimed by his professor.…. But, to conclude, please do not claim this as your own.