Deep Thoughts

What the hell happened to two guys a girl and a pizza place? I mean what a great show. Ryan Reynolds is all popular now too, but now, instead Cable TV picks up syndicated shows like “Just Shoot Me” instead. Well, I couldn’t put it any better than that, good title, assholes.



Why do bikers INSIST on using the fucking road? These towns spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on these nice paved bike paths that these fagots choose to bike latterly with the paths on the ROAD as opposed to biking ON THEM. Next time, I’m FUCKING RUNNING YOU OVER.

UPDATE: I realized that hitting them was illegal and an empty threat, now I just push in my clutch and rev the SHIT out of my engine while beeping the horn and laughing my ASS off as it makes them loose their balance. I just tell the cops he was going in front of my car and I didn’t think he could see me so I made noise! TRY IT WORKS! Just make sure not to do it when your girlfriend is in the car, they get all upset about it…girls….



Remember Duck Tales? I wish I could swim in my cash like Duck Worth, remember that show on afterwards, Tales Spin, great show.



Who’s the fucking asshole who decided to put a STOP LIGHT ON THE HIGHWAY! Check it out, route 9 south; near exit twelve, closest I’ve EVER come to a Michael Bay Movie Car crash! I’m going 80-90mph and boom, red light!



Why do homeless people only come out on Mondays? I mean, I see them every day, but they come out in droves on Mondays, I just wanna be like, hey guys, people get paid on Fridays you know. I mean, they don’t have jobs, why would the only day they chose to work be Monday!



Why does the parking garage always smell like urine, I mean I get it, someone’s pissing in there, but what the fuck! I mean how much does a person pee to make the whole place smell like piss



In my sophomore year of high school I was good friends with this kid Greg, he was a senior, him and all his stoner friends decided I’d be cool to bring pillows to school so you could take cat naps all day and put it on your seat cus’ the desks were so uncomfortable. Obviously wanting to be one of the guys and get the cool senior kids approval me and all the senior boys brought pillows to school every day, it was called, the “pillow revolution” I got a away with it the longest out of all of them until an administrator said, “Richie, at first I thought you had an awkward private medical condition so I was apprehensive to say anything, but the pillows gotta go”



“Two roads diverge in a wood, and I, I took the road less traveled, it was a left, and that has made all the difference” ~ The mathematics will prove, if you can’t make up your mind which direction to go somewhere, just turn left, you’ll get where you’re going.



I always thought those trained grizzly bears we so cool, you know the ones in the movies and the circus, so cool ya know, with their little hats



What the fuck is wrong with those little clips on the gas nozzles? You probably don’t know what I’m talking about because they’re always fucking broken! On every gasoline nozzle there’s supposed to be a little clip (I’ve only seen two designs) that keeps the handle locked so gasoline can pour without you having to hold the nozzle the whole time, BUT we’re all stuck either holding it and watching our hard earned cash be converted to terrorist juice, -OR- us smarts ones Jam something, usually the gas cap between the handle and the lever so it keeps pouring, Wanna make 1million dollars? Invent a mother fucking gas nozzle that WORKS! Trust me, Exxon Mobile WILL pay you the million, they made that in the time it took you to read this pissed off rant of mine.



Say this name LOUD and out loud . . . . “Mike Hawk”



You ever just chill on facebook and then catch yourself aimlessly poking the noses of people in pictures with the curser (which will resemble a hand in faecbook)



Who knew big brother was such a good show



Anyone else notice how Batman The Dark Knight has brought this country together? Everyone i know saw it, loved it and has some sort of story about when they saw it and who they were with. It’s fucking amazing the things that can bring the people in this country together, i guess its why the terrorist hate us.



You ever see a yellow light and decide to go for it, then suddenly realize that the person in front of you doesn’t have the same plan



How come the joke about the umbilical cord being a penis never seems over done, from Family Guy to the Golden Girls; its always used!