Lydia will do anything to not have to deal with life, even cause her peers to fear her. |
I peered down the long, narrow hallway, the silence of before school emptiness echoing through my ears. Silence was good. I had never been one for large crowds or noisy parties. Had never felt the need to intertwine myself among my peers in the way all of my childhood friends had. I was wild in a new way, a different way. I walked forward towards my locker that stood stilly next to the technology room. It smelled like oil, and machinery despite the fact that the day had not yet started, and brought ever excited boys and over anxious girls into the room to create the whirring, and smashing sounds that I knew would come from it as the day went on. My day would be spent as far away from that room as possible, in the haven of the school libraries where no one dared to go or risk appearing a nerd, and in the trees behind the old church that stood nearby, which I would leave as soon as the stoners came to smoke pot without getting caught by the teachers. I twisted the lock on my locker and pulled up on the metallic hand, feeling the coolness of it seep through my fingertips and through my body, sending a chill up my spine, or maybe it wasn’t the coolness that made me shiver, maybe it was... “Lydia.” A hand clasped around my shoulder, and a boy’s voice resonated through the hallway. I spun around, finding myself staring straight into the chest of Tate McGraw. I had to take a step back and lift my head up to overcome my short height and look at his face. He shook his head, swishing his long blonde hair back and forth. “Hey Tater Tot.” I said, turning back to my locker, and rummaging through piles of books and binders. “You never came to my party last night.” He said, over the squeaks of wet boots and sneakers as teenagers began to file into the high school. “I was busy.” I lied. “No you weren’t.” I rolled my eyes, still looking away from him so he didn’t see, and started to pull my black hair into a pony tail in the mirror I ha in my locker. For some reason Tate had taken interest in me about a year ago, and now he acted all like he knew me and all. Which of course he didn’t. Although he did have an uncanny ability to be able to tell when I was lying. I had tried every trick in the book to get him to go away, but I had pretty much given up. My last sad attempt was to call him Tater Tot, which he hated. “Yeah so?” I said, gathering my books and turning to face him. “I was tired, and I felt like staying home. I’m sorry I didn’t check to see if it was okay with you first.” “You didn’t stay home. You got in a fight.” “I did no-” Tate grabbed my arm, and began to pull back the sleeve of my hoody. I pushed him, and pulled away. I didn’t want him to see the bruises. “Okay, okay.” I sighed. “I got into a little tussle. It was so not a big deal.” “It is a big deal when you go out fighting for fun.” “Yeah, well. You were throwing a huge beer keg bash at your house, and getting all high on crack. You have some problems of your own that maybe you should check out.” Tate just looked at me. He had this problem of never showing any sort of emotions. It was maddening. “I was just doing what all teenagers do.” He paused. “I don’t.” I said. “No. You go out and get into fights because you know you can win and it makes you feel good about yourself.” I turned on my heal, planning on walking swiftly away from him, but of course he followed. “You’re a tad bit of a psycho.” He said, and I could hear a laugh in his voice as he said it. “Okay then leave me alone.” Let’s just get this out into the air right now, Tate may have been the closest thing to a friend I had, but he was still a major annoyance, and besides I liked being on my own. It made me feel strong. “No.” I took a deep breathe. “Why not? What about me is so fascinating to you that you feel the need to follow me around for? Really I’m not that interesting.” Tate gave me that stupid grin of his. “I’m going to class.” I huffed, even though it was twenty minutes before classes started, and I knew my teacher would come in at the last minute anyway. “Are you coming to lunch?”Tate asked, still trotting along next to me. “I don’t know.” I said in a ‘we go through this everyday Tater Tot and my answer is always the same’ kind of tone. “If I feel like it.” Tate looked at me seriously. “Just come.” He said. “Stop being so impulsive.” He turned and walked away from me. I was so shocked I almost forgot to look all tough. Some high schooler next to me snickered a little, apparently at me being told off, and I silenced him with a look and stormed down the hall towards my classroom. My teacher, Ms. Hendrick, was of course not there when I arrived. Everyone knew that she barely made it to class, still half drunk and hung over on Monday mornings. The classroom was in one of the more empty hallways though so with a quick glance at the two boys down the hall who were looking at me with interest and the group of giggling girls around them who would never get their attention I slumped down onto the floor, leaning against a locker, and pulled out the homework that I didn’t do. The boys eyes didn’t leave me. I chose to ignore them in this instance. I knew they were hoping to see me do something crazy, but they weren’t going to. I doodled a spiral on the corner of my empty global worksheet, and looked down at the questions. I knew some of the answers off the top of my head, but opted not to fill them in, for consistencies sake. My teacher didn’t expect me to do my homework, so I wouldn’t. No big deal. I looked up from my paper as I heard a girls voice and two pairs of footsteps coming down the hall. I couldn’t make out what the girl was saying but she sounded like she had just had the thrill of her life. A tall, skinny blonde haired boy, and an equally blonde girl turned the corner. I recognized them both; Hannah Rodrick, and Gaige Thorton. Hannah was wrapped around Gaige’s arm like a tightly spun thread wrapped around a spool, and Gaige looked bored. I knew they were not an item, and I also knew that they had probably just had sex in the janitor’s closet on the second floor. Hannah was gushing about a party that she had been to last Friday, sounding overly excited, and a little shrill. Gaige was silent, maybe listening but probably just thinking of a way to escape. He was known for that kind of thing. I almost didn’t blame him, I knew that all the girls wanted from him was his body, and that they only hung around with him because of some sort of rule that said that if you slept with someone you had to at least talk with them for a few minutes afterwards. I still thought he was a pig though. Gaige’s blue eyes met my watching ones for a second. He whispered something to Hannah who looked almost relieved, and turned and walked back from where they had come. Gaige walked over to me, and slipped next to me on the floor. I ignored him. “Global homework?” He asked. I was silent. I knew Gaige was only talking to me because he had used me as an excuse to get away from Hannah, and he didn’t want her to come back, and find him not doing what he said he would be. He didn’t seem bothered by my reluctance to answer, and leaned back against the lockers. I considered telling him to go to his class, but then remembered that he was in my class. “I didn’t do my homework either.” He said. I did not respond. Gaige sat quietly for a few minutes, barely moving. I tucked my homework back into my book bag, and sat very still. If I moved people might interpret it as me running away, and then Tate would give me hell. After what must have been five minutes Gaige spoke again. “You don’t really like anyone do you?” He asked. I looked at him just for a second, then turned away, and stared straight across the hallway. “I don’t like you, if that’s what you mean.” I said. “Well that’s not what I mean.” Gaige sounded a little surprised that I had bothered to answer. “I mean really, do you like anyone?” I thought about Tate for a second. “No.” I said, both to him, and to myself. “Me neither. I hate everyone.” He looked at me. “Yeah well.” I said, and then neither of us said a word. I was a little shocked that he had been so blunt, and confused as to why he would say something like that to me. We barely knew each other. We had grown up together, gone to the same small Elementary School, and even hung out in the same group of kids around seventh grade, but since then we had both gone our very separate ways, me extricating myself from the world of teenagers and him dive-bombing into it. Our lives were as different as day and night, and yet... “I’m not really a bad person.” He said quietly, clearly more to himself than to me. I didn’t say anything but in my head all I could think was “me neither.” |