Chorona

Everyone knows the name of a few Greek gods, but nobody knows them all. Some still reign prominent today, but some are so obscure they have almost been forgotten. There is the icy god Dorineaseus for example, and his son Dew Eynomus, the god of small mammals. That whole little family has been obscured so much that no one even recalls the name of Dorineaseus’s other child, actually quite a powerful stone goddess. I have been fortunate enough, however, to uncover a myth about them told by early descendants of the Etruscans: the story of Chorona’s Flight.

It starts with the birth of an incredibly small and delicate pig in the hills once known as Hestia’s Kneecap. All pigs at the time were elephantine; All of them. The pigs in the Hestia’s Kneecap herds were all spotted with muddy shades of brown and black. The males had small stubs that suggested the dangerous tusks they could develop in days if their owners were careless. The females could barely lift their whale-type bodies with their pudgy little legs. In short, pigs were not a glamorous affair.

Then Chorona was born. He was half the size of the smallest runt the people of the hills had ever seen. His skin was smooth pink, flawless and glowing with health. His bright crystalline eyes shone with intelligence. As he grew older he never developed even a tiny trace of those tusks. He remained the size of a young piglet.

“What shall I do with this useless pig?” Chorona’s owner pondered. He was an old man, skinny from all his years of barely scraping by. He knew well that you just can’t keep such a tiny pig. It would be a waste. But Chorona was such an amazing little creature.

“He’d make a fine little stew,” a neighbor suggested.

“My sweet Chorona a stew!” the owner’s wife cried in outrage. Sometimes she forgot she and her husband were barely scraping by. She was a squat, plump woman and constantly wore extravagant dresses and trendy hairstyles. She often got it in her head she could afford little luxuries such as a pet pig. “I won’t stand for this!”

The old man shook his head. “Then what am I to do, wife?”

Fortunately, the neighbor had more ideas in his head than just a stew. “You could sacrifice him to the gods,” he offered. “I’m sure they’d gladly accept such a fine creature.”

The owner’s wife dabbed at her perfectly dry eyes with a gaudy handkerchief. “My little Chorona living with the gods, it would be difficult for me,” she sniffled.

So the very next day Chorona’s owner took him to the temple of the gods in a nearby valley. A priest of the gods laid him out on a large stone table and killed him with a religious dagger. He gathered Chorona’s blood in a wooden goblet and offered it to Chorona’s owner to drink.

“That’s really disgusting,” Chorona’s owner observed.

The priest sighed. “If you don’t drink this blood a curse will rain down upon your family. It is so decreed and written in the sky by Zeus himself.”

“Then I take back my sacrifice!”

“It’s too late.”

“Please, no. I don’t want to be cursed!”

The priest thrust the goblet toward Chorona’s owner. “Drink if you don’t wish to be cursed.”

The poor old man realized he was defeated; the priest would never yield. He hung his head and returned home to tell his wife of the terrible impending curse.

Chorona’s soul waited until his owner had departed to rise through the temple ceiling and shoot toward Olympus, where a very excited Dew Eynomus waited for him. “Look at this delight!” Dew Eynomus called to his father. “Never have I been the god of a pig. They’re generally so large.”

Dorineaseus joined his son in an instant. He examined the little pig critically. He turned Chorona over and looked at his belly, pried open his mouth to see his teeth, and poked a finger in one of his ears to feel the ear cavity. He withdrew his finger (it was clean). “This, son, is a perfect specimen,” he declared. “I have an idea what you could do with him.” He leaned in closer to Dew Eynomus and secretively indicated the direction behind him. Dew Eynomus looked up and saw his ireful sister watching them.

“What we shall do,” Dorineaseus whispered, “Is give Chorona to Hera as a gift. Maybe then she will forgive your sister, and we can have peace.”

Dew Eynomus frowned. “I like him though. I want to keep him.”

Dorineaseus indicated his daughter once more; everything around her was turning to stone. “Would you rather give up the pig or put up with… that?” He cringed.

Dew Eynomus considered. “I suppose it’s all we can do,” he finally said. “I’ll send Chorona on his way now, so I don’t get any more attached to him.”

Dorineaseus put a comforting hand on Dew Eynomus’s shoulder. “He really is a fine specimen. Hera won’t be able to help but forgive us for your sister’s comments when she sees this magnificent pig.”

Dew Eynomus took Chorona from his father and lifted him up in the air. “Fly!” he commanded. “Fly, Chorona, to the palace of Zeus and your Mistress Hera!” He released his hold on Chorona reverently, leaving the pig to hover in the air. Chorona twisted around curiously and squealed with delight. He pointed his nose in the direction of Zeus and Hera’s palace and propelled himself gently forward.

Soon after Dew Eynomus and Dorineaseus turned their attention to other things Chorona came across Zephyrus, the west wind. Zephyrus was proud of his reputation as one of the very most handsome of all the deities. At the sight of a pig he scoffed. “A pig on Mount Olympus?” He shook his head disapprovingly. “We gods make all creatures pale in comparison, but a pig is so low the comparison shouldn’t even be made.”

Chorona was as impressed with Zephyrus as Zephyrus was with himself. He had never seen so much flowing hair, or so much gold jewelry before. He zoomed in closer to the west wind to get a better look.

“Stay away from me, hideous beast!” Zephyrus shrieked. In a moment of panic, he forgot he was a god and started swatting desperately at Chorona. Chorona assumed this was a game and darted up and down and side to side between the two flailing arms.

The trees and flowers giggled. In tones as soft as a stalking spider they reprimanded the west wind. “The pig is twice as handsome as you, garish one.”

Chorona was fascinated by the talking flowers, and he landed in their midst to smell them. At this sudden rejection by both the pig and the flowers, Zephyrus stopped squirming, his face reddening with embarrassment. “What?” he asked darkly. Chorona ignored him and the flowers stayed quiet. “I’ll show you twice as handsome!” Zephyrus raged, “How about enormous twice over!” He pointed at Chorona dramatically and the pig started to grow. He didn’t stop growing until he was the size of a large whale.

Chorona looked up. He realized something was different. He glanced around and noticed a cold, unwelcoming expression on Zephyrus’s face. He decided it was time to leave. So Zephyrus had to endure an impressed whistle from the trees and the flowers as the large-whale-sized pig floated gracefully into the sky and departed.

Chorona may have lost his miniature appeal, but he was still glowing with health. He still had his charming demeanor and his intelligent eyes, and, of course, there was the fact that he found being humongous so fun that observer’s of his flight found it to be a remarkable trait, rather than a curse.

Chorona happened upon Hades as the god of the Underworld was resting in a small glade of wild blue flowers. Hades looked up and saw an enormous floating pillar of lively health. He snarled in frustration. “Must the other gods constantly tease me about my station? I can’t help it that my realm is full of dead people, Zeus!” Today was supposed to be his day to relax, so he decided he wasn’t going to deal with it. He waved his hand in a half circle and a breeze rose from the underworld and enveloped Chorona. It effectively made the pig invisible. Chorona, not noticing anything other than a god below taking deep, measured breaths, continued flying.

Later, Chorona’s stomach started to grumble. He landed in a cluster of wild berries and began to feast. Aphrodite, the goddess of love, strolled out of her palace to eat half of a wild berry. She noticed something invisible impeding her path when she walked into Chorona and bounced backwards. At first she was a little unhappy. Nobody denied Aphrodite what she wanted! But then she realized she kind of liked it. She looked for the place the berries were disappearing to and sidled up to what she assumed to be the place a handsome god was standing. “You’re sure eating quite a bit,” she purred. “Hungry?” She drew the scent of a magnificent feast from her palace. “Why don’t you join me inside?”

Chorona turned in the direction of the glorious aroma and ran toward it, oinking in ecstasy. But Aphrodite appeared in his path. She had seemed so nice before, but now her face spoke volumes of her disgust. “You’re a pig!” she accused. “How dare you fool me like this? I’ll make you regret having ever come to my garden!” Chorona halted, admiring her dramatic sweeping movements as she paced thoughtfully back and forth. Finally she faced him again. “You have wrongfully sought my love, you boar, and so it is fitting that none shall ever love you. Henceforth your skin shall be covered by thousands of invisible knifes. They shall be so sharp they will slice anything they touch!” She cackled passionately and snapped her fingers. Chorona felt an uncomfortable sensation on his skin as if a swarm of tiny insects was crawling all over him biting into his flesh. It scared him a little so he launched into the sky and flew away as hastily as he could.

Aphrodite looked around cautiously. “Pig?” she asked. “Are you still here?” She realized she might have overreacted and she was already regretting it a little. But it was too late. The pig was gone.

Chorona only flew for a few minutes. He was still hungry and he was getting tired. He landed on an enormous boulder and began feasting on a roasted chicken that was just sitting there. “That’s not your chicken,” the boulder croaked. “It belongs to my Mistress, the stone goddess. She will probably kill you when she finds what you’ve done.”

Chorona bashfully set the remains of the chicken back down. He nervously glanced around him. Dew Eynomus’s sister was approaching with actually quite a happy smile on her face. But when she saw the chicken in tatters she got so mad she started to shake. “My plan’s ruined!” she shrieked. “Who did this?” she asked the boulder.

“It was the enormous invisible pig covered in thousands of sharp knives that is sitting on top of me right now.”

She looked up to what she guessed was the place the pig’s head would be (it was). “If I can’t have control of my actions, then neither can you, pig! Every time you are happy your body will shake and your knives will destroy everything around you. Now get out of here!” She expected the pig to rampage away across the field of grass, but it took off into the air and was gone. She smiled to herself, realizing what pig this must be. “Oh family, this will prove to be your undoing,” she whispered.

Finally Chorona reached his destination. He squeezed his way through the grand front door and found himself in a magnificent entry hall. A cheesy aroma wafted toward him from somewhere upstairs, and he followed it up the goliath staircase.

Hera had hidden Zeus’s lightning bolt in a cleaning closet and chained him to a chair. “You won’t be escaping me anytime soon,” she reminded him from across the table. They were having a lovely meal of cheesy ambrosia soup and pomegranate nectar. Hera was trying to savor her time with her husband, but he kept straining to break the chain. “Zeus!” she barked. “Stop squirming and eat your lunch.” He casted a puppy dog expression at her and gave up for the moment. He weakly spooned some soup into his mouth. Hera smiled, satisfied with her progress.

Suddenly everything started to shake. The doorway to Hera’s day dining room exploded into pieces. There was a terrible shriek and Zeus screamed. To Hera’s horror he was free, and he was squirting blood all over. The crashing and breaking stopped and the giant vat of soup at the center of the table began to empty. “It’s an invisible beast,” Hera whispered, looking deep into her husband’s eyes, trying to maintain his attention.

“I’d say it is,” he replied gruffly. “Where is my lightning bolt?”

“It’s in a cleaning closet downstairs.”

“Thanks. Have fun dealing with this mess.” He promptly disappeared.

Hera exhaled in disgust. “Could I have married anyone worse than him?” she wondered. A grunt from the beast drew her from her seat. She stood up and rolled up her sleeves. “All I asked was for a few months with my husband,” she reasoned. “That wasn’t too much to ask. Therefore I curse the ones who brought you to me. If they are gods let them lose their power and if they are mortals let them lose their livelihood. As for you, you monster, it is best that you are destroyed.” She tapped the side of the vat and the soup burst on fire.

Chorona was so happy to be with his Mistress and to finally be filling his stomach that he didn’t notice the burning at first, but when the contents of your stomach are on fire you notice eventually. He let out a stupendous groan of pain and looked imploringly at his Mistress, who couldn’t see the desperation in his eyes. She stared in his direction until he finally exploded. Knives, fat, and invisible air flew everywhere, shifting Hera’s attention for moment as she avoided being hit by the debris.

When all was settled and quiet, Hera cautiously moved a fold of fat with her toe. Chorona lay beneath it, whole and unscratched. He was the very same pig he had been in the beginning. Hera caught her breath. This was the most exquisite gift she had ever received. She picked up her little pig, the dead body limp in her arms, and cried. She thought of the curse she had placed upon those who had sent the pig, and gasped in despair. “What have I done?” she sobbed.

In Hestia’s Kneecap the old pig farmer was finally just beginning to think the gods had chosen to forgive him for not drinking from the goblet. He took a deep breath and smiled to himself as he made his way toward the pig pasture. When he got there all his pigs were dead. They were heaped on top of one another, the few with some life left foaming at the mouth, eyes rolled back in their heads. The pig farmer felt as if he was in a trance. He barely registered the tingling sensation rising up his arm. He didn’t notice when his heart finally stopped. The gods had their revenge.

“Come out Dew Eynomus,” the stone goddess called. “I know you have lost your powers.” She hunted through her father’s ice palace, methodically closing off the portions she had searched with stone walls.

Dew Eynomus desperately reached for the window above his head. It was his only possible exit. His sister’s voice was getting closer. She set up another stone wall. “Father, where are you?” he whispered.

“I’m hiding in secret chamber directly beneath your feet. I’ve lost my powers too,” his father whispered back.

Dew Eynomus looked down. There was a little vent on the floor, through which he could barely make out his father’s sharp nose and frosty blue eyes. “How do I get in there?”

“I’m sorry, Son. She’s already sealed off the entrance.”

“Then how do I get out of this window?”

“It appears too tall for you to escape through.”

Dew Eynomus widened his eyes in horror. It finally hit him that his sister would find him. She’d destroy him. “I wish I wasn’t immortal,” he groaned. “She’ll torture me through the eternities.”

“Son…”

“She’ll turn my legs to stone and bury me in an underground cavern.”

“Son…”

“She’ll drop little pebbles on my forehead day in and day out. She’ll make me eat rocks!”

“Son!”

Dew Eynomus snapped out of his horrified trance and glanced down at his father. “What?”

“You could just get out through the secret door underneath the window.”

“There’s a door?” Dew Eynomus asked in a flat voice. “Why didn’t you mention this a lot sooner?” The stone goddess slammed open the door in the room over.

Dorineaseus’s eyebrows frowned. “I just mentioned it. You can take or leave my help, but maybe you shouldn’t question it. I am your father.”

“Whatever. How do I open it?”

“Say, ‘open’ and it will open. If I were you I’d say ‘close’ on the other side. If you do, it will close and your sister probably won’t realize you went through it.”

“Open,” Dew Eynomus breathed. A thin portion of the ice wall swung open. “Goodbye, Father.”

“Good luck, Son.”

Dew Eynomus said, “Close,” and started running down the mountain. He formed a plan as he ran. He would grab a cloud from his father’s garage and fly down to the Earth. If he flew up toward the other gods his sister would probably see him and stop him. He would just have to get in contact with the other gods through a priest at one of the temples.

The pig farmer’s widow was very put out. Without a husband or a herd of pigs she had been forced to sell her land and magnificent wardrobe at a very unfair price. Then her neighbor had suggested she invest her money in a business venture of his. That had been the end of it. Now she had nothing. So she was headed off to the temple of the gods to ask for mercy. When she got there she thought to ask for the priest who had told her husband he was cursed.

“What do you want?” the priest demanded. Upon her mentioning the little pig and the curse he looked a little closer. He realized she was not doing very well, so he tried to get away. “I am very busy,” he informed her.

“Don’t walk away from me!” she shouted back. “I’ve never heard of Zeus demanding people to drink blood. You laid that curse yourself you foul monster!”

Just then they were interrupted by a rather wild, frantic looking man. “Mam,” this newcomer said in soothing tones. “I don’t think a priest in this temple could curse your husband. There are sometimes small rules that indicate to a priest that a supplicant to the temple should drink the blood of the sacrifice. It would have to be a rather rare occasion, such as, say a pig was sacrificed somewhere not long ago. It was such a small pig that it would not go to the usual place pigs go. That meant it was a special sacrifice. If the owner was elderly drinking the blood would have brought him youth, if he was young it would have brought him strength. If he didn’t drink the blood something bad would have happened.”

“That was my husband,” the pig farmer’s widow exclaimed. “He sacrificed that pig, my little Chorona.”

The wild man gasped. “It was your pig? That would explain your suffering.” He cast his eyes down. “Actually, your husband was probably killed because Chorona upset Hera.”

“Chorona did not upset me, Dew Eynomus.” They all turned around to lay eyes on a woman who was even taller and more beautiful than the wild man. She smiled sadly at them and nodded down to the bundle in her arms. “I have killed Chorona’s soul.” She unraveled the bundle and showed them the shimmering likeness of dead Chorona. He looked happy, but a little concerned, like a stupid pig might look, except that everyone knew Chorona wasn’t a stupid pig. The widow’s eyes became teary, the priest stared transfixed, and Dew Eynomus frowned.

“Why did you do this?” he asked Hera.

“What else could I do? I thought he was a monster, a hideous beast come to destroy my palace and rob me of my husband. I am sad to see him dead, but I can’t say it was avoidable. I do regret what I did to those who sent him to me, though.” She looked meaningfully at the widow and Dew Eynomus. “I can’t undo what I have done. That would be very unappealing, as I am the Queen of the gods. What can I do to ease your suffering, though?”

The priest realized he wasn’t needed. He left.

“Could you make my neighbor’s business venture turn around. If he’s successful, my return could buy me back a new pig farm,” the widow asked.

Hera nodded. “That will be fine.” She turned to Dew Eynomus. “Where is your father?”

“He is hiding from my sister in his palace of ice. He has a secret chamber, which has hopefully kept him hidden.”

Hera smiled. “Finally I have a reason to kill that wretch. Will that suffice?”

“I don’t know if that’s necessary, Majesty.”

Hera scowled. “It is.”

So the stone goddess lost her powers just as she found the entrance to her father’s secret chamber. Without her powers she couldn’t stop the crystal bird Hera sent to kill her. Dorineaseus descended the mountain to be with his son, and they helped the widow’s neighbor in his business venture until he was successful. The widow bought a new pig farm with her profits and she named it Chorona Farm.