Groundhog Night

Groundhog Night

Where ya goin with that shotgun, Pa?
Ain't ya sleepin here with us and Ma?
Why ya sneakin out in the middle o' night?
Are ya lookin to give some crook a fright?

Dontcha remember when just last fall
Me precious garden, groundhog ate it all
I swore to God I'd catch that vermin
And offer him a shotgun sermon

I'm afixin to shoot that crafty critter
Afore he breed another litter
I'll send that rodent back to sleep
This frozen earth will be his keep

Sure I 'member when ya went a'huntin
That fat woodchuck who kept on gruntin
And shot yourself in ya big old toe
Cursin and cussin like a two bit hoe

Mary-Lou!! Wash ya mouth out now
Where'd ya learn such talkings foul
Now git to bed ya little scamp
Outside his burro' I'll make me camp

And so it was that Ole Tuck did wait
Where woodchuck went to hibernate
When just on dawn the early bird sang
Followed closely by a frightful bang!

Hey Ma! Come quick! Mary Lou did shout
Pa fell asleep 'fore woodchuck came out
Better git the phone - dial up nine one one
He tripped the trigger and shot Pa's bum.

28 odd lines