Fears

  I was getting anxious; Nark had promised to send me another message in no time, just for me to know, how things went. But here I sat in my bedroom without a word from them.

„No, no. You have to believe in him. Maybe he’s coming back, that’s why there isn’t any letter.” A little voice in my head, chanted. At that thought my heart jumped cheerfully. But I knew better than that; he would have sent me something even if that was the case.

  I tried to calm myself, muttering that everything was just fine. But in truth, I wanted to scream. To scream out all of my worries and fears.

  I knew I would never have a chance like that; just in Nark’s arms. But where were his arms? Where was him now? He was on the battlefield. So far away, that I could not reach out for him. I just had to endure my fears. That was my role as a princess. Of all people I had to stand straight and take whatever came. That was my responsibility. The people needed me.
 
  Someone knocked on the door, interrupting my thoughts.
„Come in!” I called in a strained voice.
 
  The door creaked open, and Armin’s head popped out behind it. 
„Hi, dear! How are you feeling?” she hurried throught the room, and sat next to me.
„Not so great.” I admitted. I didn’t need to hide my real feeling from her. She would understand.

She threw her long arms around my shoulder and sqeezed it.
„Do you really think they are fine?” I asked in a weak mutter.
She remained quiet. I looked up at her.
„What?!” My lips trembled, as I realised, something had already happened.
„It’s okay! It’s okay! We’ll be fine!”

WE?! Than it’s here. My body relaxed. So the problem was here. At that moment I didn’t care that we still had something we had to overcome. How bad could this situation turn anyway? The city was occupied by Arcus, the neighbouring country’s king. I didn’t care; he can have the city, but the people won’t obey him. They only lower their heads for Nark. We fought as much as we could, but they were stronger.
„You might not think, but I’m a little happy, that this time we are in trouble.” I patted one of her hands, that curled around my chest.

  For a moment she looked down at me with real pain in her eyes, but than  composed herself, before I could understand the meaning of it. „You should sleep. We’ll have a long day, tomorrow.” She said, and kissed my forehead. As she turned away, I would swear, I had seen something glittering in the corner of her eyes. But as soon as I started to ask about it, she darted through the door. 

„Weird.” I thought and yawned. I had been already half asleep, when she had come. Now, it was overpowering. I literally fell between the pillows, and sank into an endless dream.

  I was in a lovely field, full of flowers and butterflies. Children came to dance across the meadow, filling the air, with their laughter. I couldn’t stop laughing myself. After those black times, finally, there was peace. The peace, I so much longed for.

  Suddenly, the wind went cold, the blue sky faded into black, storm clouds. The children ran away screaming. I felt that some liquid was flowing slowly under my feet, but I didn’t pay much attention to it. I was worried for the children, who disappeared, one by one. I ran like crazy, towards the last little boy. He looked back at me, eyes so sad that I had to swallow. As I reached for him, he vanished, just like the others.

„NO!” I yelled after him. Tears rolled down on my cheek. I couldn’t see much, but continoued to run regardless, hoping, I would finally find another child who managed to escape. After a second, I tripped over something and landed on the hard land.

  I rised at my knees, and looked at my hands for injuries. But all I could see, was a strange looking, stinking, red liquid, that covered the whole field. I realised at once, what that was, although my brain refused to accept the truth. Horrified by what would I see, I looked down, to my feet, to see, what made me trip.

„AAHHH!!” I struggled to free my legs under the dead man’s arm. He eyed me with his endless, dim gaze.

  Finally, I got up. I put the back of my hand on my mouth to suppress my shriek. Thousends of men lad there, dead.

  I woke with a start. The bedroom was quiet, the light started to shine in through the huge window on my left. It made a little more time for me, to get over the nightmare. I was still gasping for air, and my heart bumped like it was breaking it’s way out of my chest.

  Armin knocked, and came in, before I could answer. Her eyes were red, like she didn’t get a wink of sleep. I watched her, as she sat next to me. I hid my face in her chest. Both of us were in deep silence.
„What did you see?” I whispered, my voice shaking. I swallowed, but couldn’t make my voice stronger.
„You still don’t feel it?” She asked back, without answering me.

  As I looked up at her, confused, I finally understood. My body froze in place, the blood rushed out of my face, my breathing stopped.
„He’s here.” I formed the words with my mouth, there was no sound to my horrified recognition.

  She nodded once, and held me tightly. Kretok, the God of War was here, in this city, in this castle. Nark’s greatest enemy, he had gone to defeat. But if Kretok was here, where was Nark?
„No, that can’t be!” I shrieked in horror. „Please, tell me it’s not truth! It has to be a lie!” I cried with agony in every word. Tears chrushed down my face. „But how could… Why not…? They should have…” I didn’t really know, how should I finish the sentences.
  „It doesn’t mean, that they are dead.”
  But I wasn’t reassured; Nark would never have let him come here, if he could stop this devil. In my eyes, he wasn’t even the god of war, but rather the god of death.

  I jumped off the bed and started to pace in front of Armin. There had to be a way to avoid this reunion; anyway, it wouldn’t be a happy one.
„They’ll summon you to the king’s chamber soon.”

I pretended, I didn’t hear anything. My brain worked at full speed. If I made a run for it, it would be the people who would get the punishment. I couldn’t allow them to die for me even if they were ready to. No, that was out of question.

As soon as my mind calmed down, I could think again. I didn’t see the situation so bad. Something told me that he would come back. That Nark was still alive. So I clinged to that little feeling and gathered my every courage.

„We just need time.” Now I spoke to myself. „Once they trust that we won’t rebell against them, they might not pay so much attention to us and the things that going on.”
„Do you have a plan?” she asked hopfully, admiration in here eyes.
„Well… maybe. We need to wait for Nark and the troops to come back, that’s all. After some time, we’ll start sending someone out, to check if they are back. And when they are, we’ll attack them here, in the city, while Nark’s soldiers will break in. And together we’ll be able to chase them away.”
„Serina, do you think it’s a good idea to trust everything to the troops?” she asked quielty, as if worrying to upset me. „We might come up with a better plan by time.”
„What do you mean exactly by ”trust everything to the troops”?”
„Nothing!” she hold her hands up surrending. My glare persuaded her that I wasn’t in the mood for anything aside that plan.

  She looked away, but I could see the sad expression on her face. Hot anger boiled the blood in my veins. I knew exactly what she was thinking at that moment. I was never angry with her since I got to this world. But now I simply wasn’t able to stop it.
„You think he’s dead?” I hissed through my teeth. This strong emotion almost frightened me as it did her. Armin’s wide eyes were on my face for a long minute, before she blinked, and looked down at her hands.

  I filled my lungs completely, hold it in for a moment, and felt better as my blood cooled down. I covered my face with both of my hands, and whispered.
„I’m so sorry.”

  It was a surprise that she heard me. As I stood in the middle of the room, I felt she wrap her arms around me again.
„I don’t know, if he is dead, or not. But I think, he’s alive.
  I raised my glance back at her; mine was full of tears, her’s was full of hope.

  One of the maids came ten minutes later. Her face was so white that I was worried, she could faint in any moment.
“I’m sorry, princess, but you are wanted in the throne chamber. I’m so sorry.” She whispered quietly.
“Don’t worry. Everything will be fine.” I tried to calm her, without success. She was younger then me; 16 maybe. The girl was like a robot. She barely dare to breathe.
“You don’t have to come back with us. Go to the kitchen and help the others.” I dismissed her. She was just too eager to do what I had said.
As we entered the chamber every face turned toward us. All of our captains in the circle of the enemy soldiers, besides them the senators. Arine princess –Nark’s little sister –stand next to the throne, her eyes were wide with fear. Arcus on the throne looked at me with a pleasant smile on his face. Really disgusting.
“Hello, goddess. I’m so glad you joined us. We have a new guest, I thought maybe, I’d like to greet him.”
“Oh, I’m pretty sure, she knew I was coming, before you knew.” I heard the deep, unmerciful voice from behind.
“Yeah, I knew.” I lied, not even turning to face him. “So, who is this new guest, I’m supposed to meet with?” 
“Of course, it’s me, Rhyciel.”

  I turned now and glared at him. My murderous glare would have killed a normal person. So, his only reaction was that his smile grow wider.
“You are not a guest.” I said calmly despite my eyes, emphasizing each word. “You are not even a person. Just an egoist killer, a soulless murderer. That’s what you are. Nothing more.”
“Ouch, that wasn’t nice.” He placed his hand on his heart as if in pain. “You’re hurting my feelings. I came all the way here just to speak to you, and what do I get? Insults?”
“Okay, say whatever you want, and then go to hell!” I hissed through my teeth. All the captains and senators tensed at my voice; obviously, they were afraid, I might attack Kretok by hand. Well, I wasn’t that stupid. I would get a sword or a dagger beforehand.
“Hell? Well, I came from there. Or at least it must be something like that for those who fought us in the battlefield.” He said while circled around me like a predator around it’s prey. I felt the blood drained from my face. “It was more like heaven for me. I’ve never enjoyed a fight so much. I have to admit it, Nark was a great and strong opponent.” A hint of a smile played at the corner of his mouth.

  That gave me hope. He just wanted to see how I react. I knew him. The torture of his prey is the greatest joy he could feel. So I would do anything to fetch away his good mood. Although my heart raced crazy, and I felt a strange ache in my stomach that got stronger and stronger by the minute, I stand there motionless.
“If you’re about to tell me that Nark is dead then don’t strain yourself. I wouldn’t believe it anyway. Nark is not as weak as you are. He’ll find the power to come back because we are waiting for him. You have no-one to fight for.”
His eyes flashed at my words, but his voice remained calm and gentle.
“I’m sorry, but this time you might get disappointed. He won’t come back, because he’s dead. But I’m sure he would, if he could.”
“And I’m sure I told you I wouldn’t believe you. You don’t have proof…”

  My voice faded away as he reached back to his pocket to pick out something. He held his hand out for me to see it.
“Well, I actually have a very good proof.” He said as he opened his palm.

  All the breathing broke off in the room, and from somewhere near the throne someone started sobbing. Those noises all belonged to another world and soon they all disappeared. I stared at the golden brown thin tress and the familiar necklace in Kretok’s hand. The air rushed out of my lungs and I couldn’t refill it. The ache in my stomach was getting so strong that I couldn’t stand straight anymore.

An enormous amount of rage, hurt and despair filled my body. My mind disconnected from my body for a moment, and I felt my hand fly in the air. The noise spread through the chamber as my hand reached it’s goal on Kretok’s cheek, making him back away a step by the force. He was stunned by my wild and aggressive reaction, and didn’t even try to avoid the attack.

But I wasn’t satisfied yet. My hand raised for the next hit, before the painful twist in my stomach finally made me fall on my knees. I was angry with my body. Why should it be so troublesome when I wanted to use it? When I wanted to kill him?
“I will kill you.” I mumbled on the floor. And then yelled with all my voice before fainted. “I will kill you!”

My greatest fear became truth and I couldn’t bare this. I wanted to be with my Nark, with my love, with my life. Wherever that place was, I wanted to be there; with him.