Channel Blocker

Written for the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge with a word limit of 300.


The prompts: This story must contain the line: "I am moving to Hawaii so I never have to see snow again."


Channel Blocker

A hovel of old coats, stocking caps and scarves shuffled through the front door. From somewhere deep down inside came, “I’m moving to Hawaii so I never have to see snow again.”

Thelma rolled her eyes at the pronouncement. Not for the first time, she regretted forgetting to block the National Geographic channel from their cable package. Life was much simpler when her Howard didn’t over-think his life choices.

The disgruntled onion de-layered itself to eventually reveal a remarkably scrawny old man. Lost in thought, he apparently overshot the defoliation target and walked into the kitchen wearing only his faded red long johns.

“Maybe Texas – don’t snow there does it? Did you know they have a place there that will give you dinner for free if you can eat a giant steak?”

Thelma made a mental note to cancel the Food Channel as well.

“No snow in Vegas either. I could make a good living there playing Texas Hold-em.”

There go the five ESPN channels, she thought as she set the table for dinner.

“I did see where I could buy me some battery operated underpants. If I act soon enough, I can get an extra pair for four easy payments of only $14.95 plus S&H, whatever that is.”

Bye bye QVC, she noted sadly. That was actually one of her favorites.

Howard made his way to the table, continuing to grumble. “If it wasn’t for Obama, we wouldn’t have to worry about snow. All of this snow is his fault. It’s just a shame that he hates Americans so much he has to make it snow all the time.”

Adios to the Fox News Channel.

Word count 276


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