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Ramblings is a simple way for me to begin, to see whether or not I can a. workout how this site works and b. can contribute in some way to the magical world of words.
Ramblings is exactly what this initial essay is.  A collection of thoughts, a little about me.  Am I honest, sometimes, and other times I am not.  I am afraid of many things.  I think to the outside world I appear confident, happy and at ease with my self and my life, when the truth is that I am completely petrified of what might happen, which means I don't always notice what actually is happening.  I feel a fraud most of the time, I believe this is quite common and that most people are not living the lives they want to, or thought they would lead, and it is so easy to blame others for where I find myself right now, but what part did I play. 
I sometimes feel as if I am pretending and that actually what I would like to do is run away and start again, but what would happen to those I leave behind? Would they crumble? Would my leaving destroy them in some way? Would I even care?