SH!T LOVERS PARTY

SH*T LOVERS PARTY



C:  The Dogbreaths

1982





Norman worked in the church

A well liked man

Helping the poor to shop

In his old van

He never took a penny for his extra time

Changing the candles and Altar wine.



He lived a pious life to all he knew

They’d see him on Sundays in his smartest do

Hand out bibles and collecting once more

He was kind to children

And gave to the poor

But I wondered what they’d say if the people knew

What Norman was doing, when Sunday school was through?



He lived in a small flat

For all intent alone

Without a television, a radio or phone

Neighbours sometimes saw visitors

But no-one really cared

Thinking that poor Norman was joined in holy prayer

They sometimes heard loud banging

Thinking Christian’s have such fun

Indulging in some altar wine when the hymns had been sung

But Norman had a secret life

Of which they never guessed

Being a devout Christian man with a slight anal fetish.



The guests came late at night

And would arrive separately

First the girl from the grocer shop

And the whispering Greek

She’s often wear her collar high to obscure her sullen face

While he’d wear dark glasses and arrive with speed and haste

They’d be joined by the old judge and the young policeman

Being greeted by Norman with homemade scones and Jam.





Once they’d all assembled

Norm would lead  through a door

To a room stripped of furniture with rubber on the floor.

The grocer girl would always start with a burst of eagerness

Ripping off her panties and squatting down to piss

Then the young policeman could not resist arrest

Dropping down his trousers and lifting up his vest

With a thrashing and a splashing

The judge did the same

As Norman lit a candle in praise of Golden rain.

The grocer girl ripped off her dress and rolled along the floor

Drenched in soggy fantasy she slid in the downpour



Then Norman pulled on his Wellingtons

And the Greek slipped on a thong

Together they met on the floor

With fingers up their bum

He would squat over the grocer girl and getting down real low

Would have to clench his teeth, to let a jobbie go

The judge would cock a leg, and sniff and pant and hoot,

as a steaming brown freddy dropped in Norman’s boot

The policeman rolled on the floor and all smeared gleefully

Until Norm looked at his watch and they all stopped for tea.



Getting out a hose pipe

He would wash down his friends

Connecting the waste to the outside pipe

Just past the u bend

Then after tea and biscuits

Norman would start to grieve

As one by one his friends got up and began to leave



First went the whispering Greek

With his hat pulled low

The grocer girl put on her scarf

And prepared to go

The judge and young policeman

Would stay and have more tea

Before leaving, one in a Daimler

The other in a Capri









Norman would not see his friends

Till the next bible meeting

Where they’d all sing their hymns and not exchange a greeting.

Singing loud in praise of god

A proud evangelical song

While Norman handed out the bibles

With his Welli’s on









c:  The Dogbreaths