Music to Move By

Music to Move By

Running my fingers up the board of my violin I feel my heart soar as I reach my top note, lifting my bow triumphantly.  It is quite till a large applause erupts in front of me; I look out to the audience all now giving a standing ovation in the small auditorium.  I bow and shake the orchestra Conductor’s hand then bow to the orchestra.  Walking off the stage with the rest of the orchestra they all smile giving cheers or congratulations.  I return the smiles truly happy that the performance went so well.  After putting my violin away and grabbing my coat I head out the door of the practice room till I hear my name being called by my conductor.  He flags me over to where he is standing with two people that have come backstage after the recital.
Speaking in English he waves his hand towards his guests “Ann Walker I’d like to introduce you to my long time friend Dolf Schweitzer and his pupil Luka Huber they have come from Germany to enroll Luka here at the Music Conservatory.” He pats Luka’s shoulder “In fact Luka will be part of our orchestra and I wanted him to meet you since you are the concert mistress.”
I shake their hands as they smile “I was quite impressed” Mr. Schweitzer says with a heavy German accent. 
“As was I, you have amazing skill” Luka says in perfect clear English.
I blush slightly at the praise “the piece I played is one of my favorites”.
“Ann is a student from America she has been my pupil for a while now and is a top nomine for the Conservatory’s Upcoming Musician Award” he says proudly.
“Ah, then I wish you much luck” Mr. Schweitzer says as Luka agrees.
My Conductor leads Mr. Schweitzer to the trophy case talking adamantly, leaving me and Luka alone.
“How do you like living here in Japan?” he asks “is the language hard for you?”
I smile “no, I have studied Japanese since I was in high school so when I came here it was easy for me to adapt.  As for living here I really enjoy it, there is a ton to do and I have made a lot of friends.”
“I have traveled here a few times but mostly just around various concert halls, this will be the first time staying here so long.  I too have also studied Japanese and maybe like you will be able to catch on quick.” He looks around slightly nervous “I must admit that I am pleased you speak English since that is one language I know well besides my native German”.
I smile and nod as he smiles looking more relaxed.

A few days later as I walk from my apartment to campus for my first class of the day I see Luka and a Goth looking girl coming out of the administration building.  Walking quickly next to her he flips through a stack of papers as she appears to be talking rapidly.  I take a detour which puts me in their path; I call out a greeting as they approach.  Luka looks up at me and instantly get’s a sigh of relief along with a big smile.  I speak to his companion and find out she was assigned to be his guide for the next two days.  I ask her were they are headed and she tells me that it’s to the exact class that I’m going to.  Looking at Luka who gives a small look of pleating I tell her that he is the newest member of my orchestra and I being the Concert Mistress would be happy to show him around.  She looks unsure for a moment but then when I say that she doesn’t have to tell anyone along with getting a couple of days free of classes plus the promised credits she happily agrees.
Continuing to class with Luka beside me he gives me a big sigh of thanks “she was talking so fast that I could barley understand her” he smiles wide and looks at me happily.  I can’t help but smile too noticing his ultra white teeth, clear blue eyes and blond short hair all highlighted in the morning sun making him look very attractive. 

Walking into orchestra later that day we are instantly met with stares of curiosity as my fellow classmate’s gossip among themselves.  Getting out our instruments I see that Luka too plays the violin and begins prepping it.  Being my job to prepare the orchestra before the Conductor arrives I calm everyone down and introduce Luka.  They all greet him politely then we begin tuning, upon completion I go over a few notes with the orchestra about our last rehearsal.  Our Conductor comes in and re-introduces Luka, giving some background which I find impressive.  Asking Luka to play a solo of his choosing he moves aside to let him stand in front of the orchestra.  Luka places his violin onto his shoulder and closing his eyes momentarily; he takes a big breath then starts into a vigorous piece of music.  My eyes grow wide at the level of complexity he plays all the while making it look so easy.  During a slow part of the song he sways as if each note comes from the movement of his body.  I can’t help but be enthralled with his style and as I look around I see that everyone else has the same expression.  Giving his last downward bow he stands calmly then bows as we all break out into applause.  He looks specifically towards me and smiles as I’m sure I’m giving a look of total awe.

A few days later sitting beside me in the 2nd chair position Luka flips through the music score on the stand in front of him.  Kazuya the previous 2nd chair congratulates him again and tells him that he is more than happy to have moved one chair down to get an opportunity to sit next to him.  I roll my eyes knowing that Kazuya worked tirelessly to get that position and didn’t have much of a choice in the matter, but is trying hard to be nice. 
Fitting well into the orchestra Luka quickly learns the songs we have been practicing earning the respect of the other members.  As the days pass we become good friends spending lot of time together showing him places around town.  I introduce him to my close friends who accept him readily as he becomes part of our group, going drinking and singing karaoke.

One day after a practically hard rehearsal he and I are asked to stay behind as our Conductor comes from his office down the hall excited. “I have been informed by the head of the orchestra department that he wants both of you to perform a duet at the upcoming fall concert series” he points to a stack of music. “Please chose a piece to play and as I know this is short notice you are both excused from your day classes to practice”. He turns to Luka “And by a special decision by the committee you are now a nominee for the Upcoming Musician Award” he smiles large “Mr. Schweitzer will be so pleased, I must go phone him” as he hurries out the door heading back to his office.
We stand there speechless till Luka shakes his head and walks towards the door.  “What are you doing?” I ask noticing a focused look on his face “I’m going to decline my nomination for the award”.
“What? Why?” I ask grabbing his arm “It’s a great honor and I’m sure you’ll win it easily” I say with a small lump in my throat but smiling.
He stops and turns to me with an angry expression on his face “No, I won’t win easily and why the hell would you say that?”
I look at him perplexed never having seen him upset before “I was just saying you’re such a good violinist”.
“That what?” he shouts at me “that everyone else doesn’t have a chance…that they…you are all nothing?” he walks towards the stack of music “I’m new, I don’t deserve something that everyone here has been working so hard for…especially” he pauses looking through the music “…especially you”.
I walk closer to him “it’s really okay” trying to hold back tears “I’m sure I still have a chance, even if small” I say quietly.
He looks at me in disbelief, giving an angry huff he shoves the stack of music off the table and grabs his stuff storming out of the room.  I sit in my apartment later thinking of what he said and can’t help feeling stupid at the way I acted.  Tears stream down my face as I look at the empty cushion across the table from me that Luka has been sitting on, as many of our days have ended here talking for hours about music and our lives.  I slowly go through the music that I brought home trying to pick a song that I feel would show both of our skill but I keep stumbling on the thought that I am not as good as he is and all I can do is continue to cry.

The next Morning sleep deprived I hurry late to the rehearsal room and notice the first orchestra is already practicing.  Walking down the hall of private practice rooms I look in each window to see if Luka is there but with no luck.  Passing my Conductor’s office I stop and peek in as he notices me looking in, I walk in and see that he looks stressed “Luka has put in a request to withdrawn from...” I look at him in shock and before he can say anything else I run out of the room. 
Stopping in front of Luka’s apartment trying to catch my breath I can hear music coming through the door.  Resting my head on the door I listen to the sad song he is playing and I can’t help but feel moved imagining him putting his heart and body into the music.  After a couple of minutes I start feeling angry at the thought that he doing exactly what I did yesterday, sulking.  I pound on the door and hear the music stop, a few seconds later the door opens and before saying anything I slap him across the face.  Nearly dropping his violin Luka stares at me in shock as I push my way into his apartment.  Standing in the living room with my hands on my hips I notice a couple of boxes on the table all taped up. 
“What the hell are you doing, you idiot?” I yell “quitting just because of me, I understand what you were trying to say yesterday and I’m sorry I acted like a child”. He stands there quietly listening “You’re right my confidence has dropped since I met you but at the same time I find that I am learning so much”. Tears start flowing down my face “you can’t leave” I say breaking down “you can’t.”
Setting down his violin he walks over to me and wraps his arms around me “I’m sorry” he says tenderly “I’m so sorry I got mad” he rests his head on top of mine. “But there is no need for tears” he squeezes me and begins to chuckle “I’m not going anywhere.”  I pull back in astonishment looking at his face which has a big smile “I have decided that I am withdrawing from the Main orchestra and joining the secondary one so we don’t have to compete.  That way we can both be concert masters and I can help other students not as advanced.”  He laughs as he notices my face turning bright red “did you think I was leaving the conservatory?”
I sit down on the floor trying to overcome my embarrassment looking at the boxes on the table. He grabs a box knife and begins opening them “these are care packages from my home” he pulls out food product all printed in German “want me to make lunch?”  I nod drying my eyes with a tissue as he starts preparing something from the boxes. “I went to the rehearsal room this morning but you weren’t there so I figured you must be mad at me so I came here planning to go check on you later.” He crouches down and looks into my eyes “but it looks like you found me first” he pats his face then taps me on the nose.  I turn red all over again muttering apologies, he smiles giving me a kiss lightly on the lips. I feel my heart jump in my chest as his lips touch mine. “I think it was adorable and very kind” he says touching my face.  Serving an assortment of small sandwiches with different fillings we eat as he goes on to say that he was unable to decline the nomination. After further talking with the Conductor he was concerned that this was all leading to me being replaced as Concert Master by him.  Not wanting to upset the balance of the orchestra he suggested the other idea and they came to an agreement.
“So I guess that means we won’t be playing a duet together” I say sighing.
“Don’t be silly, do you think I would give up an opportunity to be with you non-stop for two whole weeks” he smiles again winking and eye. “That I made sure to not change” he takes a bite of his sandwich “did you pick a song? I looked for the music but figured you must have taken them.”  I nod and open my bag pulling out two scores, he looks at the covers then instantly his face brightens as he point to one “let’s play that one, I love that song and have always wanted to play it with someone.”
I look at him and laugh “I was thinking the same thing, but I at least wanted to give you a choice, so I picked something else as well”.
He looks through it stuffing the rest of his food in his mouth “let’s practice now” jumping up while still chewing.  Moving the table and setting up music stands we stand across from each other holding our instruments.  The song begins with one player, I watch him concentrate through the beginning taking the time the song requires. Moving his arms and body with strength and grace I find myself watching him closely, suddenly imagining him touching me the same way he plays.  Unable to stop staring I see that he too is looking at me with intensity and as I begin to play only half way paying attention to the music.  By the middle of the song I feel like we have started making some form of musical love.  Before the last note of my violin fades away at the end of the song he walks around the stands and kisses me passionately still holding his violin.  Moments later I lay on his bed naked as he begins slowly moving his hands and lips in a rhythmic motion across my body.  I feel myself burn with desire as he gets close to my inner thighs, kissing and licking as he goes.  Feeling a surge of excitement I begin to moan as he uses his tongue as a baton, conducting my body through an amazing symphony.  At times moving slowly like a sweet Adagio then quickening to a Presto that is so fast that I cry out in rapture.  Our bodies come together like two melodies rising and falling with the music till we reach the coda and crescendo simultaneously to the climatic finale. Lying on top of me and breathing hard Luka kisses my face and rolls over to the side.  Looking at me sweetly he smiles “you are quite the Virtuoso” I laugh and kiss his lips “funny, I was going to say that I should start calling you Maestro” both laughing we rest for a moment.  Rolling back on top of me and grinning big he says seductively “ready for an Encore?”

After spending lots of time studding our bed sheets instead of our music ones we finally get to practicing daily at long hours at a time.  I come to find that Luka is a kind but firm teacher, having me play section repeatedly till I feel my fingers are going to bleed.  Stopping throughout the song he shows me various techniques to get me through some of the harder sections.  He too also struggles at parts but continues to push himself determined to master the song.  Taking breaks to only eat and sleep we decided it was best that I should temporarily move in with him, since he has the bigger place.  Never living with a man before I find it fun that we can spend so much time together, shopping and eating out.  Even with occasional spats we never stay mad enough to prevent us from making-up quickly sometimes right on the spot we were arguing.  Continuing to attend our regular orchestra rehearsals we find that everyone has seemed to get that we are now a couple, even without us being in the same orchestra anymore.

Sitting in the 2nd chair position again Kazuya happily talks to me excited about tomorrow’s performance.  I feel excited about it too but a part of me begins to doubt, even though we now can play it all by memory.  Later that day running through the song for what seems the hundredth time, Luka stops me as I begin messing up on sections he knows that I have perfected.
He has us take a break and looks at my face carefully staying quite as I wrestle with my mind, trying not to cry.  Getting up suddenly he grabs his coat and tosses mine to me “Let’s go, I want to show you something”.

We walk down the street quietly as he holds my hand leading the way to an unknown destination.  Getting off a bus we end up in front of an elementary school, he takes me to the office where he is recognized by the head teacher.  After talking a moment with him as I wait in the lobby, we are guided into the school which seems to be quite since classes are in session.  Approaching a small independent section of classrooms I begin to hear the sound of various instruments.  Walking into a large room I see a small orchestra, each child holding their instruments as the teacher talks; the kids look up at us in amazement as we are both foreigners.  The teacher welcomes us speaking good English then introduces us to the kids who all smile and begin bouncing in their chairs.  Having us sit down and after calming everyone down she has them begin playing a song they have been practicing.  I begin to grin and laugh inwardly as the song is played slightly off pitch and at times out of sync.  I look to Luka who has a serene smile while tapping a finger to the music.  I look at the violinists and see they are trying hard to focus on the music while also watching the teacher who is conducting; their little fingers moving with effort to accomplish each note.  Floods of memories come back as I recall my young beginnings as a violinist, watching my dad who is an amazing musician and inspired me to play with kindness.  I also remember thinking that I would never be as good as him and working hard to overcome that feeling by engrossing myself into practice.  I’d always feel great once I reached my intended goal but it sometimes felt like each one was a giant step and I had just gotten myself up one when another was right above me.  The breaking point for me was when I was accepted into the Music Conservatory and my father proud as I have ever seen him spared no expense to make sure I would be comfortable here.  But as I watch these kids play I begin to feel that maybe I have been so wrapped up in being an excellent player that I have forgotten exactly why I play.  After leaving the school Luka takes me to various performances all over the city, from small café trios and quartets to having dinner at a fine restaurant where a violinist plays solos. He reminds me of why I love to play and as we lay in bed that evening after not having practiced again he hums the song and moves his hand up and down my arm like he is playing.  I close my eyes visualizing the music while feeling his movements till I fall asleep.

We stand behind the large curtains of the stage both holding our instruments waiting to be announced.  I turn and see him smiling at me looking incredible in his tux as I notice him eyeing my shoulder less gown.  Leaning over to me he whispers “The reason I found that I play this song so well is that I play it for love…for you” and with that he kisses me lightly and walks tall out onto the stage. 
Hugging my father who flew in from the states after the performance, he beams at me proudly.  Shaking Luka’s hand pleased to finally meet the man that I have nonstop been talking about.  He looks at him happily “thank you for restoring the passion for music that my daughter had forgotten.”  I blush uncontrollably hitting my father on the shoulder as both he and Luka laugh.  Mr. Schweitzer who was also in attendance shakes my hand as well “I should say the same” looking to Luka who takes a turn at being embarrassed.  “You can always tell when someone plays for a meaningful reason rather than just for the glory.”
We all sit down in the auditorium as they begin that evening’s award ceremonies; Luka is awarded a special honor for contributing his talent to the advancement of his peers.  I clap loudly as he goes up shyly to receive the award; sitting back down he shows me the framed certificate before passing it to his mentor and kissing me on the cheek.  As the nominees for the final award given tonight are read; Luka squeezes my hand as I try to act non-caring, though I feel like a swarm of bees are in my stomach.
“And after a tough decision since everyone nominated is an exceptional musician” the announcer takes a breath which seems like a small eternity “We have come to unanimously agreement that this year’s Upcoming Musician Award is to be presented to an outstanding young women; Concert Mistress Ann Walker”

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