Ugly Antoine

Ugly Antoine

Dis de story of ugly Antoine. He be calm weather to all dat know him and just be a simple soul dat work de rice mill over New Iberia. Like all, he live his life most all in Acadiana region of Louisiana.  His before folk come down like most all us wen de British man kick de immigrant peoples out from Acadia in Canada.  Here all live most 300 year and most Acadia folk dey call Cajun now like Antoine.

Now ugly Antoine, like I say, work de rice mill and wat he do is bag and stitch Louisiana Long Grain all de day and tote all time four fifty pound grain bags on his shoulders like crows on de bull. Such powerful man got bonne respect but dis poor man was wit a fault…..he was très hard to look at.  God and nature have bad day on poor Antoine’s birth day.  His body, fo sure, look like it not have neck, it just look like Antoine whole head….it just sit on Antoine’s shoulders.  Antoine’s wide jaws all grand enough to bite through bone and wood fo sure.  Nose dat scare babies and ears small like de possum.  He shave all head and let de beard grow wild. All same fo sure, he be fine man and friend to all folk……but, only fool make de fun at him fo his torment of features …….dat cause bones to break fo sure.

Early morning she come and Andy wake and dress bonne fo big day.  “Carnival day!!!”  He wait harder dis day den all Christmas.  Party, music, tres bonne food and de women.  All de grand women dat smell like flowers and laugh like de music.  No work dis day and next day.  All folk go to La Calou parishe and have all day and de night party.  Eat, dance and drink swamp brew and wine.  All long de bayou folk cook in style and feed all who come.

All  years, ugly Antoine, he go to la “Boucherie“. Dat is wat called pig slaughter party. All men drink and kill and butcher all de pig and others den take pigs to de coal pits fo all day cook.  It most times 20 maybe more pig.  All come round and watch when ugly Antoine kill de pig. He all time use heavy fence post and swing in one hand and some time he hit dat pig head so hard dat pig eyes dey pop out and dat fo sure, oh oui! 

Antoine, he got to de Boucherie at de sun rise and he got to killing right off.  It take most three hour and wen done Antoine and Old Adede get de boat and go down bayou to scoop crawfish and net bream.  Old Adede was black Creole man and was old man when Antoine first see him on bayou twenty year go. He told la grand stories of  “Les Gens De Couleur Libres“, the free black folk dat come from Haiti most 200 year go. He tell bout voodoo and “swamp walkers” dat come out at night and how you do curse fo politician and plantation man. All rich man was plantation man to Old Adede.

Two hour go by and dey scoop most hundred pound of crawfish and two basket full bream and crappie.  Dey give la grand catch over to de women when dey get back and Antoine and Old Adede go sit under nice cypress shade and share bottle of vin rouge and listen to music out from big barn not far way.
“How old you mon ami?”, asked Antoine.
Old Adede sat and he stare at de bayou fo moment.  “I must be 80 soon or maybe I 80 now.  What year dis?”
“Adede!  You not know da year?” answered a surprised Antoine.
“I stop de notice to de year when I busy being 70.”
Antoine shook his head and laughed. Adede shook his head also but from confusion. “I tell you ever bout my mother who was Haitian princess?”
Antione stared at de old man fo a moment and den said, “You tell me bout her being Voodoo priestess, not Haitian Princess!”, smiled Atione.
“Oui, mon ami. She Haitian Princess first and den lose de job den study de voodoo and be priestess next.”
“Non, you not tell me dat.  She busy woman.”, replied Antione.
“Oui, tres busy. I tell you also she be movie star in old Haiti?”, de old man asked.
“I tres hungry Adede, let go get food.”  Wit dat de two men dey up and head to de barn and de smell of many bonne foods cooking.

Long tables was all round wit de foods of all kind. Piles of de sweet ‘boudain‘, de sausage made of de pork and de liver, rice, onion and de garlic.  De good Gumbo soup of all kind wit de okra and good spice.  Jambalaya of all type wit surprises in ever pot. Crawfish boil and de fry fish.  Bread of all kind, red and black bean and home rice of all color and taste.  Tarts and spice fruit, melon and berry.  De  “Fête” began wen de roasted pigs, dey be brought out and cut up and served round.  Music, food, drink and de women…..oh oui!

Antoine was sitting under shade tree finishing his dird bowl of gumbo dat was rich and sweet wit de Sassafras file’ and all de bite from de cayenne….oh oui!  He soon up and be going fo de Jambalaya and de crawfish.  He head back to de fete’ tables when he hear all shout and fuss from down at bayou.  Crowd of folk all go running to wat see.  Antoine, he go wat see too.  Dair be small lagoon dat come off of bayou and on de bank of dis lagoon people all stand and point at water.  Antoine walk through crowd like cow in cornfield and he stop at edge of lagoon bank and he stare hard at water. 

Floating in middle of lagoon is old gator maybe she ten foot long and wide like barrel.  Boys, dey all throw rock and stick at gator but old gator just float and look at crowd on bank and hope one fall in maybe.  Mr. Edmond, he big shot at rice mill,  he standing  down at oder end of bank and he yell to crowd.  He say, “I’ll give a hundred dollars to anyone that wrestles that alligator.”  Mr. Edmond, he like de swamp brew too much and maybe he drink too much cause he not stand straight too good.  “That’s what I said. I’ll give a hundred dollars to anybody, I swear!”, he shouted again after he take one more drink from plastic cup. 

Den all sudden, dair be big splash and all folk jump back and catch dair breath!  Few seconds go by den up come Antoine and he stand up in de water and shook his head.  All de people dey stare, Mr. Edmond he stare and old gator she stare!  Ugly Antoine stare at de gator.  Old gator, she waste no time and come after Antoine.  Antoine, he dive out of de way and go under de water.  Gator circle round looking and den de water explode.  Antoine, he come up sudden next to de ten foot gator.  In his hand was round river rock big like melon.  De big Cajun brought dat rock down on old gator’s head so hard dat it’s eyes pop out and dat old gator she just sink away. 

De folk all cheer and clap when Antoine crawled out of  lagoon.  Mr. Edmond hurry down to stand next to him.  Mr. Edmond he get wallet out and he pull out hundred dollar bill and give to Antoine and then pat him on back.  “Son, what the hell ever got you to do it?  What made you go after that old gator?”  Antoine, he slowly turn round and he face de crowd. He den hold up de hundred dollar and yelled out, “I give dis money to de fella dat tell me who push me in de water!”  De crowd, dey stare fo moment den all turn at same time and quick walk away from bank of lagoon and not stop walking till dey back at barn. 

Antoine, he go sit in sun and dry de clothes.  Adede bring him strong brew and pat him on shave head and say,  “You brave fella Antoine.”  “I not jump myself in water, old man,” replied Antoine.  “Some fool push me and den it me or gator fo sure.”
Old Adede, he smile cause he really know Antoine like all de folk attention.  “Dey all done skin de gator and got de tail in marinade fo morrow.  Mr. Edmond take gator skin cause he say you got money so he get hide and cause he fart hole.” Adede made de small smile. 

Antoine finish drink of brew and he up and walk over to barn to wash and get mud out of small ears.  After he most clean he start to walk home wen he hear voice like music.  “Antoine?”  He turn round and see Tess Arbor.  Tess, she girl he know at rice mill. She work in office and did office stuff.  He not see her much but he hear fella‘s  make de joke bout her cause she so wide at hips and have short legs.  “You bien?”, she asked.  “Oui, bien,” he reply.  “I hear all people say you kill de grand gator wit yo fist?“ she asked.  Non, I use big rock.” he answer cooly.  “You are so brave!”  Antoine, he just give small nod and rub arm like it maybe hurt.  “You not see Antoine fight gator?”, he asked.  “Non, I was working at food table wen all happen.  Don make any difference if I dair.  I broke glasses and don see all well witout dem.”  Antoine smiled and said, “You look magnifique witout dem.”  Tess, she shy and look down and smile, “Merci, Antoine.  No one say dat fo you.”  “Non!!??” reply de big Cajun. 

Tess reached up and took Antoine’s big arm and together dey walked down to de bank of de lagoon so Antoine could give her de detail of de grand fight.  Later dey watch de  sunset and share Jambalaya. 
                                                       
                                              Bonjour.