His dying dialogue

He was going to try again and this time, he vowed, he would have the courage.

Christopher – his names was. Common, the name of the guy was, the one who sat on the edge of the tallest building in the neighborhood once again preparing himself to jump. Twelve times he came and twelve times he left using the stairs. Twelve times he wasn’t brave enough to finish what he started and end his own suffering. But twelve times were more than enough for him; now he was ready.

The building was practically deserted, barely a half dozen homeless guys lived in it and they used to stick to the lowest flours. Up here, a hundred feet in the air, no one was to bother him or interfere with his act; he had seen enough police shows to know he would not be let in peace. It was a cold morning; the cool breeze that blew gently in his face reminded him somehow of home, his home, the home that no longer held any meaning for him.

He inhaled deeply and made a step forward. He heard a click, then a door opening. He panicked and almost lost his balance.

“Whoa buddy, didn’t mean to startle you.” A sweet voice behind him said.

Crouching on all four he turned to see. The sun was already peeking over the roofs – there was enough light. His newly arrived companion was a pretty young woman, early twenties – late teens, with a raven black hair and dressed in a red tracksuit.

“Wh-what do you want?” he managed.

She waved a hand. “Nothing really, just wanted to see the sunrise. Sorry for interrupting.”

She turned around went for the door. He stared at her. Did this lady realize what he was about to do? If she did, did she simply not care or had some master plan to prevent him from meeting his end? Whatever the answer, once she was gone he could resume. Halfway to the door she stopped and turned again to face him.

She smiled, “On second thought, I’ll stay and watch”

Perhaps she was simply crazy, would a normal person say that? She took a couple of steps toward him and he shouted.

“Stay there! Don’t come any closer”

“Ok”, she said.

Seeing she wasn’t going to add anything he faced the street, ten stories below.

“Hey, you are going to jump right?” She asked.

He nearly fell - again. Without moving he said, “Yes”

“Cool. Don’t worry I won’t bother you. I just want to see what will happen when you hit the ground.” She sounded genuinely intrigued.

Definitely crazy. A few loose screws probably. It bothered him, in a way, that she supported him; as if he wanted someone to stop him. But instead of a brave police officer all he got was a crazy chick with an I-like-to-watch-people-just-from-edifices fetish. More that being mad, he was puzzled at her behavior.

“You won’t bother me?” he asked

“No”

“Ok”

He considered it for a moment.

“You just want to watch?”

“Yes”

“Ok”

He inhaled deeply and made a step forward. He heard a cough. When he found his balance he sighed.

“Yes?” he rubbed his temple.

“Um, can I come a little closer to the edge? I don’t want to miss the moment, you know.” Her voice was nice, melodic; under normal circumstances he could have liked her.

“Yes, you can. Just stay far from me.” He closed his eyes listening to the sound of her sneakers brushing the cement.

“Wow. It sure is high.”

He twisted his head to the left and found her peeking over the edge. She made a couple of steps backwards and looked at him expectantly. She really wanted him to jump.

“Are you really going to let me jump?”

“Yeah, sure. Why not?”

He stared at her. She smiled at him.

“Because that’s not what usually people do.”

“Yeah? Well, if I were to jump I definitely wouldn’t want someone to interrupt me. So why would I want to stop you?”

“Good question. I don’t know. It doesn’t matter, I am going now”

“Ok, go ahead”

He inhaled deeply and made a step forward. He heard a beeping sound. This time he didn’t stagger.

“Sorry, it was my cell…” he glared at her. She repeated, “Really sorry, just let me turn it off”

He sighed. At this rate this was going no where, especially with her indifferent attitude. Or perhaps he was not able to jump in front of her. Embarrassed, he probably felt, to be showing weakness before a lady.

“So…”

“Yeah?”

“You really won’t try to talk me out of this?”

“No, I already told you I… Fine I’ll do it; apparently that’s what you want. Ok, let’s make it more fun.”

He raised his eyebrows. She crouched slightly and extended one hand toward him as if taming a wild animal. She looked cute in a non romantic way.

“Please sir,” even her expression matched her tone “Step away from the edge, you don’t want to do this”

“Why not?”

“Um,” she frowned a little pondering the question “Because it’s not worth it. I am sure you have people waiting for you at home”

She was doing a pretty good job with the whole hero job. He was even having fun.

“No, I don’t really. My parents died when I was eleven, my wife left me a year ago and I have no children. As for my other relatives, I doubt they would miss me.”

Her eyes narrowed as she looked at him “I am sure that is not true, I am sure your wife would not want you dead. I don’t want you dead.”

The last sentence almost made him warm. He wondered what it would be like if he really had someone like her to talk to him that way. He glanced down and then back at her.

“Look, life lost meaning for me a long time ago. My childhood was a tragedy; even before they died my parents were never home – I had to take care of the house and my little sister alone. After the incident we were sent into an orphanage and from then to foster families. There aren’t many people who would adopt two kids at once, so we had to be separated. My new home was even worse than my own. If I didn’t do the chores they would beat me or not give me dinner, I was forced to study practically day and night, which resulted in my eyesight getting bad. At the age of sixteen I ran and tried to find my sister – I never did. I found a job at a supermarket and shortly after that met my ex-wife. We were young then and in love; she said money didn’t matter so we got married and were happy for a while. I even managed to get a better job. But as the years passed she started to want family, home and financial stability. One day I lost my job and she just couldn’t take it – she left me and a week later I received the divorce papers. So tell me please why would I want to live and what for?”

She smiled. “See? That’s why I didn’t want to talk with a suicidal, it’s all so complicated and if you had your mind set on killing yourself you would just do it.” Her smile disappeared and she shook her finger at him “But before you jump I want to say something”

He scratched his ear and waited for her to continue.

“You are an idiot! If your life was so bad, just suck it up and make it better! Do you think it is all someone else’s fault or that your life was simply a series of unfortunate events? No! Of course not! You have to work for it, you have to try. If it doesn’t work try harder. Your family treated you badly? Whatever, it is their loss; make your own family. If you have issues with your wife try and solve them, do everything you can to keep her – whether she is right or not, I am not saying – don’t just sit around weeping. After you lost your job did you really look for another? Don’t tell me you couldn’t find a job even if it’s as a garbage man. You have to start from somewhere and work toward bigger goals. And your sister, whose fault you think it is you haven’t yet found her? Yours or course. And all that has happened to you is your fault why should you get away so easily? Death is easy needless to say, considering of course, what is waiting for you on the other side. If you want to throw away your life selfishly, go ahead who is to stop you!” She sighed “I am no longer in the mood, I will be going. Goodbye Christopher.”

She started toward the door, but just before she turned he thought he saw tears in her eyes.

“Wait”

She stopped a few meters away from him.

“I am coming too.”

But suddenly a strong wind blew. He faltered and his body started to lurch toward the empty space between the two buildings. He waived his hand frantically trying to regain his balance, but all in vain. He gave up and closed his eyes, waiting for his end. But instead of falling straight down, his body swung strangely and his head and shoulders hit something hard. He winced in pain and put his hands around his head in case a second impact was coming. When he had caught his breath he looked up. She was there, holding his legs over the edge, grimacing from the weight, but seeing him look at her she smiled wickedly.

“You are an idiot, brother.”