What Happened

Always excited about Apple Butter Day, this event took place the Sunday in the month of October. Most family members looked forwarded to this event. Started very early in the morning, this peculiar Sunday it was a cool morning the fire started and the cooper kettle over the fire and the 25 gallons of cider were being boiled down to add the 4 bussels of apples later in the day. I was in the kitchen preparing for the meals of the day. Breakfast with donuts, coffee, hot chocolate and pancakes. My husband came into the kitchen said he had fell down the bank and hurt his ankle. I checked it out and it looked good it was just a sprain he walked on it fine. Many people came, pictures were taken, and all the food was ate. It was a great time and we made 8 gallons of apple butter that day finished about 8 that evening. Everyone was kind and loving that day. I remember this day as a wonderful day. Everyone got along and the food was good.

Many things were going to happen after this event. The events that were to follow were the main reason for this big Apple Butter Day. My husband, was going to have a hip replacement in a couple of days following the Apple Butter Day and our youngest son was getting married in December. My husband's rehabilitation after his hip surgery would be complete in time for the wedding. All was going to be wonderful it was all planned out.

Went to the Cleveland Clinic very early Tuesday morning, told the doctor of my husband sprained ankle, they xrayed it and said it was a sprain and it was the same leg with the hip replacement so it would heal along with the hip rehap. It was good. All ready for surgery, gave my husband a kiss and told him I loved him very much and would see him soon. This was the last time I would talk to my husband as the person he was.

After surgery the surgery of the hip replacement was great but he had a stroke during surgery. He was violent after surgery and it took a couple of weeks to have him cooperate enough to go to the rehabilitation center to start rehab. At the center on the 3rd day he fell and broke his leg below the new hip replacement. So back to the Cleveland Clinic for surgery again for a replacement. After the surgery of his replacement he became very violent again and not himself. I decided not to have him return to the rehabilitation center and have him come home to familar surroundings and this would make his rehab mabye go more smoothly. Our nephew owned a nursing home so he set up our home with a hosiptal bed, bedside comode and wheelchair for our use. The insurance company had a nurse come to our home three times a week for rehab and to help me with any problems I may have with his care.

Our son's December wedding was beautiful, we all had a wonderful time. We had a deaf minister do the wedding, the intrepreter spoke what was being signed during the wedding. Our son is deaf but married a hearing woman, her signing skills are excellent. The bridemaids were hearing but the groomsmen were deaf. Many people commented that it was probably the most beautiful wedding they have attended. Christmas music was played and had the interpreter sign the songs before the wedding. The bride and groom faced the audience and the minister had his back to the audience. The Bride and Groom are professing their love for each other to family and friends, when they are deaf they are to face the audience. This was different for most people to see this and this did make this Christmas Wedding even more special.

The reception was held at the American Legion and the food and music was great. The decorations were in roses of lilac and white. Everything was great till one relative for some reason was stating that my son's wife was this terrible person and only married John for monetary gains and told this story to many of the people at the receptions. This sister in law was also telling stories before the wedding that my husband surgery was uneccessary and it was my fault that my husband health was bad. Hurt feelings were beginning and family members were being divided. For the sister in law is not a favorite of the family but her husband is. Sister in law's husband started to believe her lies, and this is where it all started to fall. The fall was great and very much unfornatuate, and it was all for jealousy, envy and later greed.

This sister in law and her husband, we always spent Christmas eve together but a phone call was made that they would be unable to get together with us that Christmas eve. My thoughts were with my husband's illness that they did not want to be bothered. But as I found out later she had told her husband some lies and would be caught in those lies if they came to our home on Christmas eve. The lie was that she told her husband that I was the one that made the phone call of cancelling getting together for Christmas eve and she was afraid that I would confront her of the lies she told at my son's wedding reception. We were family friends for almost 30 years and it was over. The heartache for what purpose. This is still a puzzle for me. All for what!!!

At the end of January I went back to work and hired someone to stay with my husband while I was at work. He also received rehabiliation to learn to walk and to put full weight on his hip. By May of that year he was walking with a walker or cane it depended on what surfaces he would be walking on. For example if he was walking around the house he would use a cane but if he was walking outside with hills and up and downs he would use a walker. At this time he was pretty much back to himself but once in awhile he would have to pause to think about what he needed to say. His responses were not quick enough to make decisions while driving so I tried very hard to explain to him about his safety. He did except this.

July came and he had extra bone growth on his hip and had to have another surgery to have this extra bone chipped off because he was not bending his hip to its fullest because of the bone growth and it would continue to grow and he would not be able in time to walk at all. So he had the surgery but after surgery he had to have rehab again to excerise the hip again. So we decided for him to go to a Rehab Center so he could get this rehabiliation on a daily basis and two times a day which would not be available at home. I went to the Rehab Center daily and spent the days with him. When it came time for him to return home his walking skills were not up to par for him to be at home alone. We lived in a rural area and I worked at least half hour away and it would not be for his best interest for him to be left alone and he did not want anyone else to be with him. We decided for me to quick my job and stay home with him.

At this time we would need to get health insurance for us for I was not working, we called an insurance agent and he helped us set up a plan for us. At this time he also suggested we update our Wills, and do an Estate Planning. We made appointments several of them and my husband talked to several of the gentlemen to talk about his assets and what he would like to do with them during his lifetime and after his passing. My husband is from the old school and I had no input on this. If I would voice my opinion he would put me in my place immediately. This was done and I felt good about his decisions there were a few I would of liked to have changed but they were his assets so I was fine with it all.

We had talked about our future together since it was changed by his health and I was no longer working. My husband loved to travel and we were making plans on different trips he would like to take. In the fall we took the trip to the New England States and Nova Scotia to see the colors of the leaves and to drive the coast line. We were gone for two weeks and had a wonderful time. The difficult things were finding bathrooms so that we both could go into at the same time because he could not sit down and get up on his own because the seat were so low. There are few family restrooms but we did find a few of them. He was very happy on this trip he had never traveled these states before.

While we were home I would have a massage therapist come to our home at least twice a month to massage his back and hips to keep the muscles from tighting up. We would make monthly trips to the doctor to have blood work done and to keep on top of the medications he would need to keep him healthy. From month to month they would change.

My husband was still working on his partnership to get that resolved but his partner had stop coming to the house because his partner did not want to disolve the partnership for whatever reasons that he had. This had upset my husband greatly. The last visit his partner came to our home my husband made the statement as his partner/brother was walking to his truck my husband said "This will be the last time I see him". It broke my heart for my husband loved him greatly but his partner/brother did not have the courage to face his brothers health.

Two weeks before Christmas my husband had a stroke a pretty bad stroke. He was not able to walk, feed himself or do any kind of care. So his nursing home stay was a few months till I could have the house remodeled for him to come home. I had to have a bedroom built on the first floor, ramp into the house, a handicap bathroom, hospital bed, shower chair, handicap toilet and sink. This took 4 months to complete just before Easter. We brought my husband home for Easter. We had a family photo taken at this time and in this photo you could see how his health was failing.

Called Hospice to come to the home at that time they came once a week but as time went by the Hospice visits were more frequent.