Shooting Star

Shooting Star





As Amy Baker looked into the night sky, a single star shot across it before burning into nothing.

Part of her wanted to simply escape the cold night and browse the net, but somehow, seeing the shooting star cross the sky, she found herself still watching.

This night was supposed to be another turning point in her life. The great step to college and higher education. Her graduation party had come to a close (she shuddered to think of the mess that would await her when she returned inside) and it left her with a feeling of unease. Perhaps the whole experience had let her down. A few relatives, some people who were supposed to be her friends, and really she had spent most of it trying to avoid everyone. She wanted time to think.

After all, she felt no different from the girl she was before she received a printed piece of paper from the vice principal. And now she wondered if college could bring on this awaited change into maturity and adulthood.

Amy looked at her hands. She didn’t feel like an adult, and certainly didn’t look like one. She was still the same unhealthy-looking 18-year-old with the same mousy brown hair and bloodshot, watery blue eyes. She still had that pale, sunken face she saw in the mirror every morning. She hadn’t changed on her birthday three months ago and Amy certainly hadn’t changed now. She shivered, her worn, brown coat offering little shelter from the weather.

“Damnit…” she whispered softly.

A slight spring breeze slid through the night air, rustling the branches of the oak tree in her front yard. The front porch of the house creaked as Amy shifted her weight. She glanced back at the ancient house behind her. It had been in her family since her great-grandfather and it showed. The real estate market in Wisconsin made looking for a new house not only impractical, but also almost impossible. Even if it was falling apart and Dad had no time to fix it, it was still their home. Apparently, it was a manner of prestige and family pride that Amy seemed to lack, because she saw the same weathered three-story wreck each time she came home..

She was the youngest of 5 children, the punchline of a Catholic family that was already crowded enough. Her mother managed the local supermarket and her father was a claims adjuster. Three daughters and two sons had passed through the house and each one of them had left it just as quickly. After all, what was there to do in a small Milwaukee suburb? She was naturally following all her brothers and sisters before her. Besides, now her parents were free to leave and retire. It was just her that had kept them here…

A car roared by, swerving slightly in its lane. Coming from another graduation party, probably. Amy almost wondered if she would see their name in the paper tomorrow. Another drunken wreck. They had already lost one of the party girls that way. But of course they would survive… if Father Ralester was right, God apparently loved rich yuppies; they keep the offering plate full. She hated Mass. For her parents, it was just a social club, a chance to hear the latest gossip. For Amy it consisted of long, boring speeches about the myriad ways in which an omnipotent bully pulled your puppet strings and punished you for screwing up.

She shook her head. She didn’t want to think about it. Her alienation was bad enough at school (she grimly recounted how many people had “forgotten” her party) and home wasn’t much better but thinking about her alienation at church made it almost unbearable. She was sick of being the oddball.

Amy bit her lip. College. She’d finally get her chance to make something of herself. She’d finally get the chance to find people she could relate to.

Ever since the beginning of high school she was cut off from the rest of the social circles. But Amy found some small comfort in front of a computer screen. Her older brother George was a video game programmer in Texas, and when she was young, Amy would watch him program. She would watch all the little lines of code grow across the screen. And when he finally finished, he’d hit a button and it’d all arrange itself. Amy scoured the internet, learning whatever she could, finding the small intricacies of the systems. In a life where she couldn’t choose anything for herself, she could at least make a machine do what she wanted. At first, it had just been a game, just figuring out what made it tick. By the end of senior year, she had hacked Stephanie Rushwood’s Facebook account and plastered it with pornography.

She chuckled a little bit, still remembering the look on her face that day.

Amy hoped that she’d learn to actually do something with it, aside from revenge. Maybe she’d actually be able to get a job doing website design or-

“There you are.”

Amy jumped in suprise. Then she realized who was speaking.

“God…” Amy mumbled, “You could have said something sooner…”

Glancing behind her, she spotted Ariel.

It was weird that she had missed her during the graduation party, but considering Amy had spent most of her time trying to avoiding people, she wasn’t that surprised that she had missed her friend.

Ariel was originally a friend of her older sister Mindy, but considering that Mindy was already living in Michigan and 3 months pregnant, she didn’t have much time for old friends. Amy had liked her, at least more than most people. Ariel worked at the flower shop, and while she didn’t know much about computers, she was one of the few people who really paid any attention to her. Ariel wasn’t exactly interested in the same things that she was, but Ariel made a good conversationalist if Amy had the urge to socialize.

Ariel sat down beside her. She was in her mid-twenties, and had a body that was improbable, if anything. Wavy, long blonde hair, icy blue eyes and a face that had more than enough males looking her way. Even now, she wore a stylish leather jacket and jeans from some expensive brand name. Fashion hadn’t really been Amy’s forte, but she knew what looked good. She sometimes felt a little awkward around her, but Ariel never seemed hung up on appearances.

“Sorry for sneaking up…” she said, “I didn’t want to interrupt, you looked like you were thinking of something important…”

“Not really…” said Amy, “Just hoping college lives up to the hype…”

Ariel grinned. That same natural smile that she pulled off with so much ease.

“Come on, you’ll be moving up from hacking Facebook to the Pentagon in no time.”

Amy blinked in suprise.

“You knew about that?”

“Sure, everyone knows you’re the one who actually knows their way around a computer... and Stephanie was the one who spread that rumor about you… it’s not that hard to put two and two together…”

Groaning, Amy leaned backwards, lying on the porch floor.

“Of course everyone knows everything… God, I hate this town…”

“Well…” Ariel said, shrugging, “You’ve got a few months to go before you leave it…”

“About time…” mumbled Amy.

A pause stayed in the air for a few seconds before Ariel spoke. She shifted uncomfortably, looking over Amy in an odd way. Something was up, Amy could feel it coming.

“Amy, tell me about Derrick.”

Amy’s heart skipped a beat. She shot up off the floor, staring at Ariel.

“What?”

“I asked about you and Derrick…”

No way. There was absolutely no way. She hadn’t said a word, not to anyone. Derrick lived in California, and there was no way that he knew where she lived. And so there was no way in hell that Ariel could have known anything about it.

“Okay…” said Amy, taking deep breaths, “What do you know?”

“Well, you’ve been chatting with Derrick for about three years, you met him on a hacking message board, you’ve been working together on an encryption cracker for WPA…” she said, “And now, you’re having issues…”

This was what had Amy standing up and backing away. As far as she knew, Ariel knew nothing about computers. And the fact that she had this much information meant only one thing in her mind. Following the realization, a cold feeling of unreality sank in.

“So… what are you?”

Ariel frowned.

“Uh…” she started, looking her up and down.

“What, FBI? Cybercrime? What?” she said, her voice cracking in hysteria.

“Please…” she said, still keeping the same even tone, “Relax and sit down.”

Amy didn’t move a muscle. She found herself trying to remember all the things you were supposed to do if you were caught by the feds, like wiping her hard drive, but all she could think was how wrong this was. That someone who she thought her best friend was an agent that had been watching her the entire time.

“Look, sit down and I’ll explain… just chill out…” said Ariel, barely concealing her frustration.

At first she took another step backwards, but stopped. Etched in Ariel’s face was the same concern she had been seeing since she first met her. If Ariel had any faults, she wasn’t a good liar. Amy sat down again, but farther away.

“I’m not a secret agent…” she said, putting stress on every syllable,  “Come on Amy, I work with flowers, remember? You’re the computer girl…”

“Then how-” Amy cut in, but Ariel held up a hand for silence.

“Forget how I know, just accept the fact that I do.”

Amy stared blankly.

“What?”

“Look, how long have you known me?” said Ariel, leaning in closer, “Five years? Seven? Can you trust me? Even if I know something I can’t explain?”

There was something almost humbling about it. Amy could see that Ariel was genuinely worried. Amy tried very hard, but found that she couldn’t say no. Ariel was still her friend, she supposed.

“Say what you have to say…” she intoned.

Ariel gave a sigh of relief.

“First, let’s get the big issue out of the way. You and Derrick had a fight a few days ago. You were chatting and apparently said something he wasn’t happy about… do you know what it was?”

It was surreal that Ariel was recounting a fight that had been lurking in the back of her mind the entire day. Amy had been trying to push it back, but she kept seeing the text flowing down the screen, each message popping into existence and leaving a new injury.

“I dunno… I was saved the logs, but I still can’t figure out why he left. He hasn’t been online since.”

Amy chewed on her lip. Why was he so bent out of shape?

“Okay, I have some good news for you,” she said, smiling again, “Derrick is going to be the man you’re going to marry…”

Amy’s jaw dropped. She had to make sure that she heard correctly.

“Yeah… I don’t think so…”

“He really does like you, and you feel the same way, don’t you?”

Amy said nothing. It was strange considering that she had never seen him or heard his voice, but somehow he had gotten under her skin. The usual online response to her gender was requests for nude pictures, but Derrick acted differently. He knew just as much as any other hacker, but he always acted polite, even when someone was trying to goad him into a flame war.

She had managed to get his real name out of him out of him. It showed a lot of trust, considering he didn’t know hers. She had dug around, and while she couldn’t find any pictures, there was a Derrick Stoakes attending a private school in Sacramento who was the same age as her.

“I… don’t know… he’s not like most people… I mean, I can tell when someone’s putting on an act, and Derrick doesn’t feel like that…”

. “You know more than that though…” insisted Ariel, “There’s something innate… something that you’re attracted to.. and something you’re afraid of…”

Amy gave a disgusted look at her friend. She was talking as if she knew her. Ariel could be so…

Wait…

Afraid?

“What do I have to be afraid of?” Amy asked defiantly.

Ariel turned, those pale blue eyes coming to bear like cannons.

“Yourself.”

At first it had seemed natural, like having an inner dialog, except with someone else. But now Ariel had stripped her bare without mercy. She kept pushing past her defenses, with delicacy, but without hesitation. Amy felt a sickening sense of vulnerability.

“What do you know?!” Amy demanded.

“Only what I’m told…” Ariel said coldly.

“And who’s telling you all this?” Amy exploded, balling her hands into fists.

Ariel buried her head in her hands.

“Someone’s always watching, Amy…”

There was a sense of discomfort that was hidden behind these words, but Amy refused to acknowledge it. Ariel had simply discovered Derrick… somehow… and was making a bunch of good guesses. Ariel couldn’t read her mind.

Ariel gave a shallow laugh.

“I’m sorry Amy… but I can read your mind and I can tell the future…”

Just coincidence, she insisted, trying to push back feelings of sickening unease.Amy thought it might have been some bizarre prank, but somehow, the whole thing was just wrong. Like reality had taken absence and left something much stranger in its place.

“Okay Madame Ariel” Amy said, deciding to embrace the absurdity if she couldn’t overcome it, “Then may I ask if your crystal ball can tell me next week’s lotto numbers? Or where Elvis is?”

Ariel glared at her, but softened after a moment.

“Alright, I guess it’s only fair… you’re only going to want solid proof…okay, ask me something, anything, that you are one hundred percent sure that only you would know.”

Amy wracked her brains. She would prove that Ariel was full of it. There was an explanation, she just couldn’t see it at the moment. Maybe she was dreaming… Okay, clear mind.

“What number am-” she began.

“Two-thousand, four hundred and thirty nine” said Ariel automatically, “now it’s nine hundred and twelve and now what you’re thinking now is something to the effect of ‘Holy Crap.’”

Amy had difficulty breathing at this point. This was a dream. She had fallen asleep on the porch and now she was having some bizarre dream that the florist was a psychic demigod.

“Can we focus here? If you can accept that I can read your mind, can you remember that I said that you’re going to marry Derrick? And you have something to work out…” Ariel insisted, seeing Amy’s panic on every inch of her face.

Amy gave a shallow laugh.

“What, I don’t get a choice?”

“Well, yes, but you already made it…”

“WHAT?!” exploded Amy. Ariel had already robbed her of the sanctity of her own thoughts, but there was no way she was going to lose free will.

“Look… the future will happen as it will…” Ariel continued,  “I want you two to be happy together, but you have to face something…”

“And what is that?” Amy hissed, feeling herself further enraged by Ariel’s stoic demeanor.

“You can’t love him. And he knows that now. And that’s why he isn’t talking to you.”

Amy slammed her hands against the wooden porch.

“Look, I don’t care what little magic tricks you can pull out of your hat Ariel,” she exclaimed, her voice echoing off the nearby houses, “But I think I can handle a boyfriend just fine, thank you…”

It was the first time Amy had said the word, “boyfriend” and it gave her a measure of satisfaction.

“But can you handle a husband?”

Amy said nothing. She was sick of this, and ready to walk away.

“Alright, this isn’t going anywhere… so let me ask you this: Do you know what love is?”

Amy stopped and stared.

“What?”

Ariel grabbed her shoulders, as if to shake Amy. Apparently, she thought better of it and let go.

“Love. L-O-V-E. Please define…”

Amy shook her head, further bewildered.

“Do I look like a dictionary?”

“I don’t expect you to know its meaning,” Ariel groaned, “Lord knows that you don’t have the foggiest… I mean what does love mean to you?”

Amy thought for a second, grateful to have something to consider besides her newly-omniscient friend.

“It’s like liking someone, except better, I guess…”

“Hm…” Ariel pursed her lips, “Okay, then… what are the symptoms of love?”

“Symptoms? What is love a disease?”

“You would be surprised,” said Ariel, grinning ear to ear.

“Okay, I guess you act stupid, you feel stupid and you make a general ass of yourself when you’re supposed to be in love. Okay, what is all this about?”

“Do you really believe what you’re saying?” said Ariel, leaning closer. Her eyes gleamed in the moonlight in a very disconcerting way.

Amy had some sarcastic retort, but found it was slipping away as she took another moment to think about it. She considered her caustic relationship with her parents, the fact that she hated almost every person in her school and her self-loathing was a way of life. Derrick had been a welcome change. But even now she felt like there was something she wasn’t addressing. Something she couldn’t say. So, she found herself saying,

“No.”

It was the first thing she had said all night that seemed real to her. She rounded on Ariel. “Look, I don’t know or care what kind of trick this is, but you’re talking about someone who I’ve never met face-to-face. He could be a girl, or a stalker or a serial rapist or God-knows what. And now you’re telling me I’m going to marry him?”

Somehow, the words sounded hollow. She knew him, better than she knew anyone in person. He was smart, funny, and would listen if Amy felt like unloading her angst in his general direction. But the idea of marrying him, never meeting him in person…

“Yes… you are going to marry someone whom you have not yet met. This happens to everyone at some point, they just don’t realize it. This is the point where I save you a very long headache and relationship issues,” she said evenly.

Amy shrugged. There wasn’t much else she could do.

“Okay, Doctor Phil, what’s the diagnosis?”

“Well, consider what you like about him…”

“He’s smart, he knows java, C sharp, ruby-”

Ariel cut her off. “I don’t need mind-reading to know you’re stalling…”

“Well what the hell do you want me to say, Ariel?!” Amy found her temper surging forward. It was the only thing she felt she could hold onto at this point. “You’re apparently running this game show! So I guess you already know the answer!”

Ariel looked hurt, and this made Amy pause. This was still her friend. She knew Ariel, and psychic powers or not, this was the same girl who had been there for her when she needed someone.

“…Sorry, this is a lot to take in…” mumbled Amy, feeling a sickening guilt seep into her stomach.

Ariel shook her head.

“No, you’re actually doing pretty well, all things considered… I’ve been declared a witch before and attacked by pitchforks, so this isn’t so bad…”

Amy wasn’t sure whether to laugh or not. But it kept begging the question,

“What are you, really? How do you know all this?”

For the first time all night, Ariel was the one who was stumped. She glanced aside, chewing her tongue. It was obvious that she was trying to phrase this as delicately as possible.

“Last night, Derrick prayed. He felt so much love, but so much longing and sadness for you. He was sorry that he was across the country and unable to help you face to face. And he prayed more than anything that someone would reach you and open up your heart.”

A full silence stood between them. The night air was dense and warm with anticipation.

“I’m an angel, Amy. Derrick is a Christian.”

The second revelation was understandable. It certainly explained a lot. She remembered now that they had gotten  to talking about religion in their last conversation He had asked her what she believed, and Amy said she didn’t believe in anything. What she had was all she needed. It had been a lie and she regretted it now.

The first part was horrifying.

Words like, saint or angel started taking on a frightening reality. Amy looked upon the friend she thought she knew, and all the frustration and unease that she had been storing up gave way to an indescribable fear as she realized what this whole conversation had been leading up to. The unspoken implications pushed from every angle. She felt trapped.

“What are you, really?” said Amy, her voice losing volume.

“I know you heard me,” Ariel said coldly, “I’m still your friend Amy, and I still want to help you, but I’m not going to sugarcoat it.”

Amy gathered one more burst of defiance, as if to dispel the illusion.

“I don’t believe in God.”

She had been thinking it her entire life, and now she had the courage to say it. She would push back against this bully.

Ariel regarded her with a faint smile.

“Do you really know how ironic it is to tell an angel that you don’t believe in God?”

Ariel grinned wider, this time almost menacingly.

“You’ve been running from this your entire life. You keep telling yourself that it’s just a fantasy, and the real world doesn’t work that way. You don’t know what the word real means. You’ve been hostile to anything that could infringe on your own little status quo and it’s going to drag you down if you don’t confront it. This is reality, and you’re going to have to live in the true reality if you want anything to change.”

Amy’s heart pounded in her chest.

“He’s going to be online tonight, you might want to ask him about what love really is. And interestingly enough, you might want to ask him what college he’s applying to. He’s going to be all alone here in Wisconsin. I think he could use your company.”

Amy said nothing.

“Of course you’re thinking, behind all the bewilderment that things don’t happen like this. People don’t just dump your future on top of you. But the long and short of it is that you don’t know how to live your future, do you? You still feel empty inside, don’t you?”

Again, Amy said nothing.

“You’ve been blessed to find all this out… and I can tell you right now that not many people have a revelation like this… use it well…”

Ariel sighed and got up off the porch.

“This is your wake-up call. You’re not going to understand it now, because you’re not ready. But He’s going to flip the switch… you’re going to live tonight, Amy…Don’t think, just listen…”

Ariel pulled her to her feet. Amy felt oddly stable considering the ordeal she had just faced. Ariel pulled her close into a warm embrace.

It was strange, but not unpleasant.

Ariel let go.

Silence held the air. Surreality slipped away and left nothing in its wake.

Amy blinked.

How much time had passed?

She glanced at her watch. She had been sitting here a minute. That was impossible.

She glanced over her shoulder to find that nobody was there. Had she been asleep? Maybe, but when did she have dreams like that? Maybe it was the anxiety of college. Graduation had been enough of a struggle. She couldn’t believe that really happened. Not yet.

She turned back to her house. There was still a mess from her party but she didn’t care. It would be there in the morning.

Her heart was still beating hard in her chest. She didn’t know what to believe, but she knew what she had to do. And the simplicity of knowing was a welcome change. All the preconceptions didn’t matter anymore. Only one thing did.

She would have a few hours to kill on the internet, but somehow the memory of what she was sure was a dream didn’t quite fade. There wasn’t any room for stalling. Questions floated freely, but they would have to wait. She would have to talk to Ariel tomorrow morning. She would have to start asking some questions for herself. But right now, she had some questions for Derrick.

She glanced at the same night sky. It looked brighter than she had seen at first. Another star shot across it, burning against the night and joining the others.