The True Story - Part 1

FADE IN:

INT. OLD ENGLISH CHURCH – DAY

A wedding can be seen in progress in the background. Two NARRATORS are watching. Both are very typical English gentlemen, but dressed in the usual 1100’s attire. After a moment, they turn around with smiles of satisfaction on their faces.

                   NARRATOR 1
         What a marvelous way to start a film, eh?

                   NARRATOR 2
         Quite right, old boy. A wedding always makes everything much nicer. And now that the audience knows that this film ends with a wedding, they don’t have to be worried about any tragedy.

                   NARRATOR 1
         Very true, very true. Although I have seen many a film where there is tragedy despite a wedding at the end.

                   NARRATOR 2
         Of course, old fellow. I’ve even seen some films where the wedding is the tragedy.

They laugh.

                   NARRATOR 1
         This is a very special wedding, too, isn’t it?

                   NARRATOR 2
         It is, indeed. Sir Nathaniel and Lady Rebecca are getting married this very day.

                   NARRATOR 1
         What a beautiful, romantic story theirs is.

                   NARRATOR 2
         (hesitating)
         I suppose you could call it that.

                   NARRATOR 1
         With grand, heroic Nathaniel swooping in to rescue her from a band of desperate criminals, only to be mistaken as a criminal himself, condemned to be hanged. But just at the right moment, his title is revealed and he is saved!

                   NARRATOR 2
         I think you’ve got the details a tiny bit twisted, old chap.

                   NARRATOR 1
         In what way? Was not Lady Rebecca kidnapped on her way to wed Sir Nathaniel? And did he not pursue them all the way to Sherwood forest to rescue her?

                   NARRATOR 2
         No, no! You’ve got the whole story all wrong!

                   NARRATOR 1
         What do you mean? How?

                   NARRATOR 2
         It’s all a bit complicated, really, You see, that’s the official story. The true story is nothing like it.
         (facing the audience)
         You see, it all started with this young man named Nathaniel…

                             FADE TO:

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD – DAY

NATHANIEL is walking cheerily along, whistling, with a small knapsack slung over his shoulder.

                   NARRATOR 2
         (V.O.)
         Nathaniel was a young man of, say, twenty-four or twenty-five, and he was out on his own. He didn’t have any money, but he didn’t care. He despised the stuff. So this Nathaniel-

                   NARRATOR 1
         (interrupting)
         (V.O.)
         Is this the same Nathaniel that’s in the wedding at the end?

                   NARRATOR 2
         You’ll find out. As I was saying, this Nathaniel was ambling cheerily along, minding his own business when, suddenly, he was attacked!

RUPERT jumps from behind a bush in front of Nathaniel.

                   RUPERT
         All right, traveler, hand over your money!

                   NATHANIEL
         But I haven’t got any money!


                   RUPERT
         Oh, you haven’t, eh?
         (snatching Nathaniel’s knapsack)
         Mind if I take a look?

                   NATHANIEL
         (holding on to his knapsack)
                   Unhand this bag, wretch! Do you not take me at my word?

                   RUPERT
         No, I don’t!

They continue pulling at the sack, thrashing around, until they both fall over onto the ground. After a scuffle, Rupert ends up with the bag, while Nathaniel sits nearby, nursing his nose.

                   RUPERT
         (pulling a hat from the knapsack)
         There’s nothing in here but a hat!

                   NATHANIEL
         (indignant)
         I know. I put it there! It’s too hot to wear a hat just now.

                   RUPERT
         (shoving the hat back into the knapsack)
         Well, you can have it back now.

                   NATHANIEL
         Thanks very much.

Rupert hand the knapsack back to Nathaniel, and they begin brushing themselves off, still sitting on the ground.

                   NATHANIEL
         So what’s your game, then? Robbing every song of England that come along?

                   RUPERT
         Ah, well, I’m a bit down on my luck, you see. Haven’t got any money – not that I need it, you understand. But sometimes I need to eat, and money is handy right about then. So I’ve started a life of crime, to see how that pays off.

                   NATHANIEL
         And how does it pay off?

                   RUPERT
                   Rotten. Haven’t gotten anything, and I’ve been working three days already! But, say, what are you doing wandering around with no money?

                   NATHANIEL
         (importantly)
         I’m looking for a life of adventure!

                   RUPERT
         (chuckles)
         Are you? Well, good luck. Not much adventure to be found round here. Hey! I got an idea! Why don’t you join me? We’d do well together, and that’d be a good life of adventure!

                   NATHANIEL
         You mean…be an outlaw?

                   RUPERT
         Yes.

                   NATHANIEL
         With you?

                   RUPERT
         Yes.
         
                   NATHANIEL
         All right! Why not? It wouldn’t be so bad after all! What do we do first?

                   RUPERT
         Good question, that.
         (thinks)
         Here’s an idea: ever heard of the Sherwood Bands?

                   NATHANIEL
         No.

                   RUPERT
         Well, they’re bands in Sherwood forest. They have leaders and they’re rivals or something. Anyway, you have to do something to get in, but once you’re in you’re in for life! Then, you go robbing and thieving with all the rest of the band and they split the loot. And when they’re not marauding, they just sort of lie about.

                   NATHANIEL
         Sounds interesting. What do you have to do?

                   RUPERT
         Oh I don’t know. Swim a river or something, I imagine. It really doesn’t matter because we can do it whatever it is.

                   NATHANIEL
         Well, how do we find one of these bands?

                   RUPERT
         Just go to Sherwood and they’ll find us. The first one we meet we’ll have a go at, all right?

                   NATHANIEL
         (hesitates)
         All right. I’m in.

                   RUPERT
         Good show!

They stand and Rupert leads Nathaniel down the road.

                   RUPERT
         We should make it to Sherwood Forest by this evening if we hurry. So, tell me about yourself. First, what’s your name?

                   NATHANIEL
         I’m Nathaniel. And you?

                   RUPERT
         My name’s Rupert.

They continue walking down the road.

                             FADE TO:

EXT. GRANTLEIGH CASTLE GATES – DAY

There are preparations for a departure going on by the gates. Horses are being saddled, bridled, and a covered cart is being set up. Three soldiers are outside as well, filling horse-sacks with food.

                   LORD JOHN
         (V.O.)
                   I expect you to be on your guard at all times!

                             CUT TO:

INT. GRANTLEIGH CASTLE – SAME

LORD JOHN of Grantleigh is standing near a window, watching the preparations below. GRAPP is standing a short distance away.

                   LORD JOHN
         If anything-
         (turning to Grapp)
         And I do mean anything – harms my daughter, you shall pay for it with your life. Not one scratch, not a single hair turned on her head. Do I make myself clear?

                   GRAPP
         Yes, my lord, absolutely. I promise you she shall arrive in Nottingham safely.

                   LORD JOHN
         (softening)
         Oh, my dear Grapp, you have served us well and I do not mean to be severe upon you. Lord knows that child has made this journey hundreds of times by now. But I can’t help feeling nervous every time she goes.

                   GRAPP
         It is natural, my lord.

                   LORD JOHN
         I just can’t seem to shake the premonition that something will happen.

                   GRAPP
         My lord, you can trust my protection.

                   LORD JOHN
         (walking a short distance away)
         Oh, I know, I know. It’s not so much that I’m worried about a laxity in your protection, or even that Robin Hood himself would dare to attack you. You know my daughter. She is wild and headstrong, but most of all she is clever. And that is not a good mixture. I’m frightened that she might take it into her head to run off for a bit of fun. Do you know what that might do to me or her mother? It would almost certainly kill Lady Grantleigh.

                   GRAPP
         My lord, she has not yet made any attempt to run away.

                   LORD JOHN
         Yet. She has not yet, you said. Disgusting word. It only means that the time is before us.

                   GRAPP
         Perhaps, my lord, but isn’t that more comforting than if she had once already?

                   LORD JOHN
         Comforting? Not in the least! Why should it be?

                   GRAPP
         Well, my lord, if she had already run away, she might find she enjoyed the rush and try it again. Since she has not, she knows no such pleasure.

                   LORD JOHN
                   I see, yes. But that does not make a worried father any the less worried. She’s young, she might do anything yet.

                   GRAPP
         She’s not all that young any longer, my lord. Nearly twenty now.

                   LORD JOHN
         Yes.

                   GRAPP
         Old enough by far to be married.

                   LORD JOHN
         Sir, you read my mind. I was just now wishing that some knight would come along and settle her down. It would be just what she needs.

                   GRAPP
         Aye, sir.

An attendant slips in the room.

                   ATTENDANT
         (bowing)
         The convoy is prepared, my lord.

                   LORD JOHN
         Very good.

The attendant leaves.

                   LORD JOHN
         Be careful, Grapp.

                   GRAPP
         You can count on me, sir.

                             CUT TO:

EXT. GRANTLEIGH CASTLE – SAME

Grapp comes out of the castle gate with gloves in his hand and his helmet under his arm and strides over to the covered cart. He knocks lightly on the wood.

                   GRAPP
         Lady Rebecca?

REBECCA sticks her head through the curtain.

                   REBECCA
         Yes?

                   GRAPP
         Are you ready?

                   REBECCA
         Of course I am, I’m here, aren’t I?

                   GRAPP
         Yes’m. We’ll be setting off.

                   REBECCA
         Very good.

She retracts her head. Grapp walks to the horse and foremost of the procession and mounts it. Then, with a whistle, he begins riding out of the court. Two soldiers on horses and one driving the covered cart follow him.

                             FADE TO:

EXT. SHERWOOD FOREST – DAY

Rupert and Nathaniel are walking through the forest, ad-libbing chat about themselves. Suddenly, from the surrounding bushes and trees swarm a group of men dressed all in brown. They quickly surround the travelers and ready the bows with arrows aimed straight at Rupert and Nathaniel. GERALD walks out from behind the men and faces the two.

                   GERALD
         Hello. You’ve wandered into a bad part of Sherwood, you know.

                   NATHANIEL
         (gulping)
         Have we? Well, we’ll be leaving, then.

Nathaniel turns to leave, but Rupert hold on to him.


                   RUPERT
         (in a whisper to Nathaniel)
         This must be one of those bands
         (loudly to Gerald)
         Hi there! I’m Rupert, and this is my friend, Nathaniel.

                   NATHANIEL
         P-pleased to meet you.

                   GERALD
         Likewise I’m sure.

                   RUPERT
         And how may be address you?

                   GERALD
         You may call me Gerald, and this is my Band of Many Men.

                   RUPERT
         (to Nathaniel)
         I told you!

                   NATHANIEL
         (perking up)
         Oh?

                   RUPERT
         Why, we’ve come to join your band!

                   GERALD
         (chuckling)
         Have you? Well, we don’t just take in anyone, you know.
         (eyes Nathaniel up and down)
         But you can have a go, if you like. Have you got credentials? Is there a current member of the band who is willing to sponsor you? Have you ever been in any bands previously?

                   RUPERT
         We don’t really have any credentials, and we’ve never been in a band before; but I’m sure once you get to know us, any of you would be more than willing to sponsor us.

General laughter from among the band.

                   GERALD
         I’m sure. We do have specific rules here. Our first requirement is that you bring us something of great value.

                   NATHANIEL
         Bring it where?

                   RUPERT
         (nudging Nathaniel)
         Sh.
         (to Gerald)
         We’re willing to do it. Anything else?

                   GERALD
         (amused)
         Yes. Why don’t you just come back to our camp with us? We have a few more formalities to complete.

Members of the band come up behind Rupert and Nathaniel and blindfold them. Gerald leads the way as they then go into the forest. After trekking for some time, they come upon GERALD’S CAMP, which is very much like a modern Gentlemen’s club. An elevated wooden chair is set in one corner, and to this Gerald heads and sits upon. Rupert and Nathaniel are placed before him and unblindfolded.


                   GERALD
         Welcome, Gentlemen! This is my camp!

                   NATHANIEL
         It’s…very nice.

                   GERALD
         Thank you! And now to address you application of membership.

Gerald snaps his fingers and paper and pen are placed on his lap.

                   GERALD
         (taking up the utensils)
         Names?

                   RUPERT
         I am Rupert.

                   GERALD
         (writing)
         Would you spell that please?

                   RUPERT
         Certainly. R-U-P-E-R-T.

                   GERALD          
         (writing)
         Thank you, and the other one?

                   NATHANIEL
         Nathaniel. N-A-T-H-

                   GERALD
         (interrupting)
         Thank you! Occupations?

                   RUPERT
         Fugitives from justice!

                   GERALD
         (impressed)
         Really? For what, may I ask?

                   RUPERT
         For robbing a nobleman and leaving him stranded.

                   GERALD
         I say, awfully good.

                   RUPERT
         Thank you.

                   GERALD
         (returning to writing)
         Family?

                   RUPERT
         None, sir. We are bachelors.

                   GERALD
         (writing)
         Excellent! Sponsor? Oh no, you don’t have one.

                   RUPERT
         Not yet.

                   GERALD
         Right, I think that’s all the information we need for now.
         (hands paper and pen to member)
         Now about initiation. There are two steps to initiation. First, you must bring us something of great value – something you’ve stolen. The regulations are fairly loose. I mean, you don’t have to bring us the crown of England, but it should be pretty big. Second, once you’ve returned with whatever-it-is, we as the rest of the band will decide if we think it’s good enough.

                   RUPERT
         Right!

                   GERALD
         (speeding up)
         Now, step one is mandatory, you have to do it no matter what; step two is optional, we may not even do it. But, if you fail to complete step one you cannot repeat it. If you fail step two you can repeat it as many times as you like.

                   RUPERT
         Got it.

                   GERALD
         Now, if you fail the second step ten times, you can restart the whole project over again. Fail it twenty times and you cannot come back until all previous attempts have been erased through time. That usually takes about five years. I think that’s everything.

Rupert and Nathaniel stand silent for a moment, dazed.

                   GERALD
         You can go commence step one, now.

                   RUPERT
         (snapping to attention)
         Oh! Yes! Right! We’re going!

Rupert pulls Nathaniel away. Gerald sits back in his chair watching them leave.

                   GERALD
         I wonder how they’ll fare. That Rupert fellow would be a useful chap to have around. Dunno about the other one yet.

                             CUT TO: