Women: On a timeline

   

    30 years ago women were on a 'timeline.' They were 'supposed' to find a man (usually fresh out of highschool), get married, have babies, and lead the expected life of a mother and housewife from that moment forward. 

    While many women need the comfort of leaning on (but in most cases, relying on,) a boyfriend, fiancee', or husband, I find this need a pitiful and boring excuse for being afraid to explore the unknown world that could be their oyster, should they choose for it to be.

  In this quest for 'true love' women will do almost anything to get to that comfort zone that marriage and children provide for them, or that they assume it will provide for them. I just want to ask, why? I hear of women who are 21, 22 years of age and are worried because they don't have a steady boyfriend, and therefore, a sperm donor candidate lined up and ready to go to start this perfect little life that society reflects as 'normal.' Why are they in such a rush?

  I am not trying to belittle those girls that have children, by no means. Children are a wonderful thing, as I hope to fully understand when I have them. I am simply stating that is seems 'off' that women have this timeline at such a young age.

  The average person's life span is 75. We are rushing through 20 years of our life to spend 50+ content in a marriage and/or family. In those 20 years few persons have the luxury of traveling abroad, of riding horses through the badlands, or visiting Sturgis, of sky-diving, of seeing a broadway musical, of finishing their degree. All of those things that someone may want to do for themselves is slowed down or discarded when children or marriage come into the picture.

  Another startling statistic, 40% of all marriages today fail. The divorce rait is actually HIGHEST for persons ages 20-24, but drops by 50% every half decade following. Those who wait until 30-34 to marry have a 10% chance of divorce, and those who marry 35-39 only have a 5% chance. (source: http://www.30reasons.com/about.html)

  Of course, there are those who get married at a young age and stay married...but I'd be very surprised to learn that they are the majority.

  What's the hurt in waiting?  30 is the ideal age for marriage, as statistics would show.  At 30 we are more mature, more settled, more financially stable, and have experienced more of life 'un-chained.'  We know exactly what we want at that point because we have had the chance to experience more of life.  Not only that, but our children won't have to jump around from one spouse's home to their ex-spouses home, should a young marriage fail.  Their lives will be made more stable thanks to our patience (Being a daughter of a mother who has been married and divorced on three seperate occassions, I know how difficult divorce can be on a child). 

  I guess that marriage today has been dubbed discardable, if need be, and because of that mindset, many individuals who choose to get married quickly, and at such a young age, have little worry in regard to the success or failure of the marriage...why? Because they can get divorced! Marriage is no longer thought of as 'FOREVER,' it is simply a paper promise that can be shredded at will. This is something we should be ashamed of.  It's so easy for us to say, 'yes,' to plan the wedding colors, pick out the wedding cake, send out invitations, find a wedding dress, choose our bridesmaids and maid of honor, choose the location of the wedding, etc.  The excitement of planning the event has replaced the actual sanctity that marriage is supposed to encompass. 

  Girls, you can make your own timeline. Don't give into the pressures of society, as it pushes you from all sides, from friends who are galloping down the isle,  to parents who are pressing you for grandchildren.

  There is still so much I feel the need to accomplish before I set out to unite and form a family with someone else.  It doesn't bother me that society finds my lack of haste towards the finding of a husband, untraditional, unorderly, and unordinary. 

  When I say 'yes,' I am going to mean yes FOREVER.  I encourage other women to re-examine their goals and to make their own 'timeline' based on factors that they pull from their lives.  Do what is best for you.  In the end, you should want to make YOU happy, and not worry about making everyone else around you happy.  Let them take on that burden themselves.