Now or Later

A muted thud aroused every time my foot pounded the ground. My pace quickened- as did my heartbeat. Crisp autumn leaves crinkled and crumpled beneath my bare feet. The combination of noises- my heartbeat, the crunching of leaves and the thudding- it was all too much… It had to stop. The overwhelming sounds repeated themselves in an almost mockingly manner. Although my body was practically drained of further ability to run, a recurring chant cycled through my mind. ‘Keep running, don’t stop- keep running, don’t stop.’ I was dangling by a single thread- this sprint was the key to my survival, my serene surroundings. I would do anything to prevent an abrupt alteration in my daily routines. But I couldn’t run forever- I would have to stop and rest at some point. Only I didn’t want to stop and rest. At least not until it wouldn’t hurt. I didn’t want a miserable stitch in my side and pulled muscles… I wanted to run until I was numb enough to avoid the pain. But, of course, the numbness would soon fade away and I’d have no way to hinder the ache. I had a choice: face the everlasting sting now or later. I came to a steady jog which faded into a sluggish gait. I staggered over to an old willow tree and pushed through the wall of flaccid leaves. I leaned against the trunk and slid down until I was rested atop a mound of dirt at the bottom of the beautiful tree. I observed twisted and tangled roots weaving their way in and out of the black mulch. I tilted my head upward and saw a gorgeous blue sky through gaps of the thick strands of leaves swaying in the subtle breeze. I closed my eyes and sighed. With a tone of both certainty and dread I whispered to myself, “I choose now.”