dear diary will lu ever find out what happened to me or will i be stuck like this forever, |
Chapter 1 – loss of innocents It had been six months , six months since I had left Neilton , six months without her and now I was back home with her and there she was crumpled on the ground crying. As I scooped her up off the ground she winched away from my touch, she had never feared my presents before. Laying her gently on the bed I started humming softly before looking around for some clue of what had happened in the last six months. *flashback* “Arrie I'm sorry I have to go dad got a job in California and I don’t have a choice, I'm moving I asked to stay back but they won’t let me. Madie packed for me said she would drag me there if she had to, I'm sorry Rie I love you, always.” I whispered kissing her forehead I walked away from the best thing that had ever happened to me *end flashback* Searching through her room I found her diaries, Arrie had kept a new diary for every month since she was eight years old. Sifting through the pile I found Septembers, the month I left. Opening its blood red cover I peeled the tear stained pages apart September 17th He left today, he’s gone he had to go, he didn’t even leave me an address phone number or email, no he just left me and went away to sunny LA leaving me here in dreary Neilton, alone. I cried after he left, dad ordered peperoni pizza, my favourite but I barley ate anything. The note book was on tonight it’s my favourite movie but I couldn’t watch it they had their happy ending and mine, well he was gone. My air, my life, my reason was gone. Arrie I hadn’t realised that me leaving had hit her so hard as I quickly flipped through the pages I scanned her writing for anything important and then I found the reason she was like this. September 30th It happened to without my meaning to I crossed a barrier from child hood to adult hood. Lucas if your ever reading this let me explain. Today we were going on a group outing to the lake but Rach and Mark couldn’t go and Oliver came down with a cold. So it was just Aden, Jae and me. Aden had to go home early because he was coming down with flu. Since Aden had taken my car home Jae said he would drive me back, after a while I realised that we were going the wrong way back to my house. Why I told him he told me the ‘be quite princess’ so I just sat there. We arrived at this house it seemed to be in the middle of nowhere when I asked what was happening he told me to be quite it was a surprise walking in the door he told me to go sit on the lounge. I didn’t know what to do any more I thought about running but I didn’t know where I was. Then he came back into the room flanked by two men who looked around 20. He grabbed my wrists and held them above my head binding them together with ropes and plastic cords. One of the men grabbed me and dragged me up the stairs throwing me on the bed while the other set up a video camera in the corner of the room. Then Jae walked in, I pleaded with him to let me going saying I would do anything, he just laughed saying there was nothing I could do now and this time you weren’t there to save me. As he ripped my shirt of screamed begging for him to stop. Then one of the men whispered something to the other he reached inside his pocket and pulled out a syringe gabbing it in my arm the stood staring at me until their faces when blurry leaving my only conscious enough to scream in pain. When I woke up I was tied to the bed in a giant cross shape there was a TV on the foot of the bed and blood smeared across the wall saying ‘Arrie I love you , J’ as I waited for something anything I began to fall asleep until I heard the crackling of a TV screen turning on and a video started playing. It was a video of the night before as I lay there watching the last of my child hood being stripped away from me again and again as the video ended Jae walked into the room. He convinced me be his girl friend , well actually he blackmailed me so now I'm his girl friend subject to his physical desires every night well dam, maybe one day you will come back and save me or maybe not Arrie Dam Jae he couldn’t just leave her alone no he had stolen her from me her innocents, stolen her from me. I walked to her window and jumped out landing on a tree branch I climbed up further up to our little tree house where I sunk onto the floor crying. ***** I arrived home late yesterday night when I got home Madie ran up to me at top speed when I told he what had happened she sobbed and cried for ages, this was her best friend it was going to be hard for her to handle it. I had a drink and went to sleep slipping back into my night mares. “Arrie run” I yelled as the shadows closed in behind me I ran faster trying to catch her bit at the same time trying to rid myself of these demons, then Rie stoped digging her heals into the ground just ahead of me. Her whole body convulsing, then next to her Jae stepped out of the tree line his eyes glinting with excitement as he pulled a knife out of his pocket. He flung Arrie to the ground her screams like a million daggers piercing my heart. Pulling the back of her shirt up he cut it open with his knife. I went to run to her to help her to save her but the men were holding me back keeping me from her. Jae followed to slice her bra strap open leaving her back completely bare as he lowered the knifes tip, to rest it on the small of her back she screamed louder, and I crumpled on the ground my eyes on hers conveying my love for her. Jae stepped in front of Rie and walked forward towards me “stay away from her Lucas” he growled flicking the knife along my cheek bone to above my eye creating a shallow cut, before walking back to Arrie who was whimpering on the ground. He slipped the knife across her back drawing a large circle or blood, “cause she’s mine” he whispered and the cut a giant J in the center of the circle. She screamed again louder and more bone shattering than before as I tried to go to her I fell landing face first on the cold floor my blood mixing with the puddles of rain I flung myself upright my body screaming in protest next to me was a shattered glass of water, as I pressed my fingers to my face I could feel the hot sticky blood latching to them. Quickly I pulled off my shirt and scrunched it up in a ball pressing it to my face, and walked to the bathroom. Washing my face I saw that I had a cut exactly like the one in my dream, it followed my cheekbone up to above my eye. Sighing I picked up my ruined shirt and got ready for school. ***** “Madz stay close to me and don’t go anywhere near Arrie yet or Jae please” I asked as we stepped out of my car Madie and I walked towards the office to get our schedules. Looking at mine I realised I had history first great, craning my head over Madie shoulder I saw that she had chemistry, dam. Walking into history I quickly scanned the room for familiar faces I could see Rachel and Oliver sitting together in the middle and up the back Arrie was sitting in a corner all by herself, turning away I walked up to the teacher desk to get given my books and a seat “ah Lucas back already, here are your books and you can go sit up the back next to Arrie” Mr Beaner said pointing to my angel in the far corner. Somewhat reluctantly I made my way to my seat sitting down next to her she smiled tightly at me. “Hey Arrie how are you” I asked trying to be polite. Oh just great I name this mission talk politely to ex girlfriend that may or may not be getting raped smooth. “Look baker I know you don’t care how I feel or what going on in my life so just goes away” she whispered harshly at me great I made last name status. “well I'm sorry ill just go to some little house in the middle of nowhere and write about how much it ‘hate you’ on the wall” she jaw dropped oh idiot quote from her diary much she turned away and then whispered almost silently “just keeping doing what you’re doing you will work it our eventually” the diaries she wants me to read them... looking at her out the corner of my eye I saw her wink and then her golden brown hair cascaded down her shoulder blocking her from my view |