Scary Fish

"I have a recurring dream. Well, it doesn't recur in the sense that I have the exact same dream over and over. It's more like the same kind of thing happens in my dream."

"How often do you have this dream?"

"Maybe once every couple a' months. It usually starts with me killin' some time fishin'. A fishin' hole is always convenient wherever I happen to be in my dream—in an airport, wherever. Always a different place. I cast out my line and get excited when I feel it tug almost immediately. The fish pulls hard, and I reel it in quick carefully. I don't want it to get away. I can tell it’s a big'un. I imagine posing next to it in the trophy photo. My shirt off, showing off my tan, muscles. In my hand is the line with a hefty fish hangin' on the end. I debate whether I'll mount it or cook it. It'd be a waste to mount it—there are starving children in China—but I am not so particular to fish. The line is short now and water is splashing near my feet where the fish is fighting just before being pulled outta the water. Someone appears from nowhere with a net and scoops the sucker up. And out comes a fat, brown, slimy, fanged monster freak of a fish.

"I choke up when I see this horrible creature. Is this just an ugly species? Should I value it because God created it? Or is it a freak of nature? Is it a mutant caused by pollution? I'm reminded of the episode of 'The Simpsons' where Bart catches the three-eyed fish."

"Blinky."

"Right. And Marge cooks it for Mr. Burns, and he spits it out. Anyway, I don't know what to do with this monster. Is it right to throw it back? Should I destroy it? I feel somewhat responsible for it now. The creature is looking at me like it would like to get at my jugular. That is usually when I wake up. What would Freud say about this dream?"

"Probably that you want to kill your grandfather and commit necrophilia with your grandmother. I don't really buy into faggot psychologists like him who think everything has to do with sex. Like your problems are caused by your mom not holding you close enough when she breast fed you. How do you feel in the dream?"

"I feel helpless. Like my problems are out of my control. But I feel like I am somewhat responsible for the problem. Like I brought it upon myself. Maybe I am even responsible for having created the monster."