I Awoke Thinking of Her

  I loved her. I really did. And no one can say our love wasn't real. Every day that we were together was a day filled with joy and elation. Yes we had rough patches,

periods of confusion and anger, but those were trials that we experienced together. Now i have no one and the pain is dull and continuous. I've learned to live with it

and some days turn out quite well. But it is always there in the back of my mind, the knowledge that i am without the one who made me happy. I am alone in a

crowded room, meaningful connections dessolving in my hand, the broken pieces of my heart still beating. No one has come with a cure for the pain. Every female

touch is as good as strong drink to make me weak and lull my mind, so that hope might haunt my soul again. If ever i fall too hard, i am not shocked or confused. I

am ashamed and i know that pain is close at hand. Someday i'll find my antidote. Someday i wont be tempted to call, to send a message, to make conntact. I will

have my solace. But today is not that day.