Dream State III

He was shifting back and forth, first on one foot, then the other. Only occasionally did he make eye contact with her. Wishing he could find the right words, to tell her how he felt, he could only say,
“But why? Why now? The timing is all wrong.”” The frustration obvious in his voice.
“Jon, you know I don’t have a choice in this. I have to go,” she calmly explained.
“It just isn’t fair though,” he said, continuing, “Besides, how can you leave all this behind? “ He was half smiling as he asked her this.
They both panned the scene at the street corner where they stood. Less than 20 feet away, a pile of more than a dozen garbage bags lay revealing a buffet for the maggots. There in the middle of the street, a lady’s car stalled as the light turned green. The guy behind her then smashed into her. He was now out of his car, yelling and cursing her very day of birth. All she could do was sit with her head in her hands and sob - it was all too much for her.
Quickly, they turned their attention away from the scene.
Jon opened his mouth again to speak, then said nothing.
He knew how Laura felt. It had taken him so long to finally work up the nerve to ask Laura out. He looked at her now, seeing her as more beautiful than when they first met. Her hair, long brown and perfect, matched her exquisite eyes. Her smile could light the whole city.
Now, she was moving away.
As they began to walk back toward their neighborhood, he looked into her eyes and asked,
“So, where are you going?” he asked, wondering what difference it could possibly make.
“It is out in the country, somewhere outside of Nashville.” she said, wishing she could take his pain away.
“Tennessee?” he asked, incredulous. He then added,
“What is a girl from New York going to do in Tennessee?” he protested.
“Live life to the fullest,” she said matter-of-factly.
She wanted so desperately to tell him what she knew. She already had the assurance that one day they would be together again. She could easily be patient for what she had seen. She could, of course tell him about it all. She knew he couldn’t see it now.
“How can you be so calm about this?” the hurt in his voice was obvious. He continued by saying,
“I mean I…uh…um, well, you know I…”” his voice trailed.
She looked at him. His sandy blond hair was facing her now as his head was bowed. She really wished she could see his smile. It always assured her that all was going to be all right between them. She knew that this time it was her turn to give that assurance.
“I love you, too, Jon!” she said.      Both their hearts and eyes raised as they were locked in a moment, eye to eye, lost in a flood of emotions and excitement. Even as their eyes widened in mutual acknowledgement, they slowly closed again as they were drawn into the kiss to remember.
Opening their eyes again, he had temporarily forgotten the conversation. He had also temporarily forgotten his name. She spoke first, bringing him back to the topic at hand,
““I will see you again, Jon. I will be waiting for you.” she declared.
“What? Oh…Laura…” again his voice trailed.
They talked awhile longer and then they said goodbye. The moving van had been loaded and her parents were waiting for her in the car.
He watched as she left, hoping that he would one day see her again.

II

His last letter had been so brief. He hoped he had made the right decision to surprise her. Though he never expected to find that she had really waited on him, he certainly hoped that she was at least still single. That would be all the opportunity he needed.  He hoped. It had, after all, been seven years.
In that time he had certainly dated others, but none of them ever measured up to her beauty and innocence. He often wondered about that and about what made her so different from other girls he had known. Would she be the same? How could she be? They had been 16 then and now they were 23. Out of college now, he had gone to work for the same company that Laura’s dad worked for. Now he, too, was being transferred to Tennessee.
As he passed the sign for the town limits, he found his heart racing, in anticipation, and in doubt.
Across town, sitting at her computer, Laura was hard at work. Self employed she did web page design. A small company with a staff
of three, she had just enough business to keep her bills paid. Well, with a little extra for savings. Overall she was very content. Except for that one area of her life. Companionship. The desire had been getting so strong lately.
Moving away from her work, she said a quick prayer as the feeling was twisting her heart. Then, slowly a feeling came over her. It was the peace that she had sought with something else. There was the feeling that soon her wait would be over.  That everything was going to be ok. She smiled now. That could only mean one thing — he was coming.
As he pulled onto the gravel drive that would lead to his little rented cottage, he reflected on how well things had gone at the plant that afternoon. He felt so at home here. He had immediately felt the positive reception of not only his ideas, but of himself as well. This situation could not be more perfect. Except for that one thing left on his agenda.
As he reached into the fridge and grabbed a juice, he looked around for the phone book. There, next to the new phone, it lay. Makes sense, he thought, smiling. Looking through its pages he almost held his breath as he looked for the name. Hmmmm…B’s…Br…Brunetti, Laura. 
Well, she still went by her maiden name, at least. Slowly, he pushed each digit as shown. A few ring tones and then he heard her sweet voice say,
“Hello” his heart stopped.
The conversation went very well. He was a little surprised by the fact that she was not surprised to hear from him. He hoped it was a good sign. They had agreed to meet at a small diner just a few miles from him, back toward town.
Quickly, he showered and changed and wondered so many things. Was she seeing someone? Was she the same inside and out? Had she fallen victim to the effects of fine fried Southern cuisine? Was he thinking too much now? Probably, he thought and chuckled aloud.
Walking into the small diner, he saw her immediately at the back booth.  Slowly he walked over to sit, but she jumped up and held out her arms. They embraced and held each other as tightly as they had so long ago. As they separated, she leaned up and gave him a quick kiss. As they sat down, she was the first to speak,
“So, what brings you here?” she chided. As if she didn’t know. “Well,” he began, “as you know, when college was ending, I sent out my resumes and this company made the best offer. I took it, hoping that I might arrange a transfer…” he paused for dramatic effect.
“Then after you took the job, they notified you that you were needed in Tennessee, right?” she said confidently.
“Yes…but how…? How did you know? Wait a minute, did your dad have something to do with this?” he asked suspiciously.
“No…but my Father did.” she said matter-of-factly.
“What?” he asked puzzled. All she could do was smile and stare into his eyes. With that, the question and the point seemed moot.
“So what do you think of the place? Pretty nice and quiet, isn’’t it?” she asked.
“I’ll be honest with you. When I found out that I was being transferred, though I looked forward to being with you, I was resistant to leave my New York behind. The noise, the streets, the smells…all that was my home, my nest. Now though, I would have to say that this is place is paradise by comparison!” he laughed now as she was, realizing that he meant it. Then changing the subject, he became nervous again and asked,
“So let me ask you…ummmm…have you, I mean are you um…” he could not conceal his nervousness.
“Jon, just spit it out. No, I am not dating anyone. I have not dated anyone in fact. I said that I would wait for you here and that is exactly what I have done.” she lovingly informed him.
“You mean you haven’t even dated? No one? But Laura, how could you not date?” he asked skeptically.
“Jon, I have friends of course and I hang out with them. When I moved here, I let it be known that one day you would come for me. The boys in my youth group at church were somewhat respectful of that, though the boys at school really gave me a hard time.” she said, laughing.
Joining her in laughter, he said,
“I bet they did, too! Laura, you are beautiful, if not more so than the day you left. There is a quiet beauty about you that absolutely defies my understanding. A kind of confidence that just knows that everything will work out. How is that?” he inquired, anticipating the great secret.
“Jon, when you asked me about how you came to be here, I told you that my Father arranged that. That is because I was referring to my heavenly Father, not my dad. My dad doesn’’t even know you’re here yet. He is in a completely different division, though I’m sure you’ll see him around from time to time.”” she informed him.
“Your heavenly Father? You know Laura; we never talked much about church or all that when you were back in New York. So I guess you attended church back there, too?” he asked.
“Oh yes…I had gotten away from it for awhile just before you and I met.  There was something so special about you. I found myself being drawn to you.  I could sense Him in your life.” she told him.
“Him? Him who?” he asked curiously.
“Well, God of course. I saw something in you then as I do now that one day you will be a great man of God. I wanted to be the best I could be for Him, so that I would be the best for you one day.” she said.
Realizing she had divulged too much this time, she blushed a bit and sat back waiting for his response.
““Well, Laura,” he started, blushing a bit himself, “I have dated several girls and none of them ever saw in me what you do, nor did I see in them what I see in you. Laura, I am not gonna beat around the bush. I don’’t know too much about God, but I do know that I love you and that I would be honored if you would be my wife.” he said as his eyes sought hers for the desired response.
From under the table he brought up a small diamond ring and held it out for her. Immediately she reached for his hands with hers and smiling that city lighting smile, she said,
“I will be equally honored to marry you. I love you so much Jon!” she replied in total exuberance. She stood up as he was and embraced him more passionately than ever before.
A small gathering of the other patrons in the diner broke into spontaneous applause. They had all been listening intently to the attractive young couple in the back booth.
They set the date for one month from the day.

III

Their wedding was six days away now. Things were going great for him at the plant. There had already been some scuttlebutt at the water cooler about a possible promotion soon. After only three weeks, even he was a bit impressed. He was whistling as he continued to get
dressed. He was thinking about how he could be so — what was the
word Laura used all the time? Oh yeah — so blessed.
Focusing on the task at hand, he was a little nervous about meeting Laura this morning.  He had never been to a church before, except of course for funerals or weddings. This was going to be a big step for him, but he knew that if he was marrying her, he was marrying all of her. This included her beliefs. He was prepared to do what ever it took at this point. Who knows? Maybe God was cooler than he knew.
She was sitting in her car now in front of her friend’s house. She had been her friend from the very beginning here. Always looking out for her at school, even she thought it was weird for Laura not to date, but respected her new friends attitude and faith. Laura had never forgotten that. She had never forgotten the times that she had been there for her when she had become impatient in waiting for Jon. Now it was Laura’s turn to be there for her.
Laura had been at her usual place, in front of a computer screen when she heard on the radio about her friend’s husband. Mark had been killed in an accident at work. Her friend had not handled things well and had withdrawn from pretty much everyone, including God.
Laura sat with her for hours after work, even taking time off occasionally and being there for her in her grief. She just could not imagine what it would be like to lose Jon like that.
Looking up as the front porch screen door slammed shut, Laura smiled at her as her friend smiled back.
The most peculiar thing about their friendship was the fact that they looked so much alike. Many people had mistaken them as sisters before. Quickly she fought back the impulse to laugh out loud for thinking about watching Jon around her. Don’t want a case of mistaken identity here! At the wedding, at least her friend, as the bridesmaid would be wearing a different color than her. Starting the car, she began driving toward the church. Driving along this unfamiliar stretch of road, Jon was immediately concerned about the steep drop-offs on either side of him. Looking at his watch, he saw that he only had about five minutes before he would be late meeting Laura. It was time to speed things up a bit. As he accelerated, he wondered what that thing ahead of him was going to do. Suddenly, the “thing” pulled in front of him and he began to swerve…
Sitting in the parking lot, Laura looked to her friend and asked,
“Aren’t you giving your testimony today before the sermon?”
“Yes, I am…please pray for me, I am so nervous.” she said
““Okay, we’ll do that right now. Then you go ahead in and I’ll wait for Jon out here.” Laura said and then led the prayer.
Even as she was praying, she began to get a very uneasy feeling about the day.
After about twenty minutes, she wasn’t sure what had delayed Jon, so she decided to go in. She needed to be there to support her friend.
Laura watched as the pastor asked her friend to walk up to the podium. She started speaking by saying that she appreciated this opportunity to share. The tears began to flow as her heart poured through her nervousness.
As Laura’’s heart went out to her friend, she heard a noise behind her. Looking back, she saw a state trooper asking an usher a question. The usher then pointed toward Laura. The trooper, making eye contact with her now, motioned for her to come back to him. Laura felt her heart drop to her stomach. Praying as she walked back, she hesitatingly approached the trooper, who then led her outside. Once outside, she immediately asked him,
“Is it Jon? Is something wrong?” her every breath filled with concern.
“Well, now Miss Brunetti, I don’t know quite how to tell you this…” his voice began breaking up…he appeared to be fighting back laughter!
“Tell me what exactly?” she said now more curious than worried.
“Well, it seems your fiancé found himself in a ditch.  He’s not injured ma’am…well, not physically. It seems that he slipped into mud as he was getting out of his car. He split his pants.”  With that, he lost control and began laughing out loud. She joined him, so relieved. He continued,
“Anyway, he said he would go home, get changed and meet you at the diner later for lunch.”
She thanked the trooper for performing duties, above and beyond the call, still chuckling a bit. He smiled, saying that he couldn’t resist a call like this one. He assured her it was one of his better calls.
Laura went back into the church, met her friend’s eyes, nodding
her assurance that all was well. Her friend now smiled as she continued,
“My name is Caroline Mayfield and most of you know me and my story. Before going into that, I would like to start by reading from the book of Job. He is someone who lost things and those that he treasured, only to gain so much through his loss. Just like me.” she said, paused, then continued on…

IV

It was now after three in the afternoon and Jon did not feel as if he could stand it any longer. He went ahead and ordered dessert. He had hoped that Laura would get there in time for him to have that while she ate her meal. He hoped that the trooper had not been tied up with a lot of calls that kept him from delivering the message. Staring out the window, anticipating her vehicle, he saw that very trooper pull up. The trooper slowly got out of his car, and looked toward the diner. Spotting Jon, he bowed his head a bit and walked around to the passenger side of the car and opened the door for…Laura! So this is why the troopers head was bowed……he was laughing! At his expense! Well, he could handle a little good-natured ribbing…
Jon watched as they walked in the front door and made their way back to “their” back booth. As they approached he realized that this was not Laura. Curious, he thought as he extended his hand, who is this? Before he could speak, she spoke first,
“Jon, I know you and I haven’t met yet, but I am Laura’s friend, Caroline Mayfield.” she said slowly.
Taking and holding his hand, she then took the seat opposite him as he looked to the trooper inquisitively,
“Hey officer, what is this…I mean, what’s going on here?” he asked. Concern now filled his voice. Caroline began to cry at this point and squeezed his hand tighter.”
“Sir,” the trooper began, “it is my unfortunate duty to tell you that there has been an accident. After dropping Mrs. Mayfield earlier, Miss Brunetti apparently lost control of her car after her tire blew. She’s in the intensive care unit at the county hospital and we’ve come to take you to her. I would like to insist sir, that I drive you. Your car will be fine here.” he stated in a monotone, mixed with sadness and
repetition.
Jon looked over to Caroline who reached out to him and embraced him as tears welled within him as well. They quickly broke the embrace and immediately followed the officer out to his car.

V
Arriving at the hospital, Jon was further informed that she was currently unconscious and was very severely injured, and they were not able to guarantee that she would last the night.
He and Laura’s friend, Caroline were sitting on either side of Laura‘s bed in the recovery room. Jon began to quietly pray to God,
“God, if you are there, you have to know how I feel about this woman. I know she loves you and if you love her, you will let her stay here with me and not let her die!” he exclaimed. The anger and hurt were so evident in every syllable. Caroline watched him for a moment and then quietly said,
“Not necessarily.” she stated a little too calmly for him, though he could see the pain in her eyes also.
“Why would you say that? What kind of God lets people die? What kind of God takes people that believe in Him and then let them die? Can you answer that for me?” he asked, incredulous, and then broke down again.
Caroline placed her hand on his shoulder. His first impulse was to thrust it away, but he desperately needed a comforting touch right now. Then a small still voice said,
““Jon…” spoken ever so softly.
He looked up and saw Laura’s eyes open. He leapt to his feet, as did Caroline. They stood on either side of her as she said to Jon,
“Jon, you know I don’’t have any choice in this…I have to go.” she calmly stated.
“But why? Why now, honey? The timing is all wrong…” the frustration and hurt so strong.
“Jon, do you remember when you went to leave New York? You said it was tough to leave all that behind. Well, Jon, it was so loud and dirty and the people were so rude there in our old neighborhood. Then, you moved here and it was quiet and clean and the people are so nice. You said yourself it was paradise here, by comparison. Well Jon, I am simply moving to paradise. I am going on ahead of you. It is so much better there than anything we have here in this life. And I will wait for you because I know…” she writhed so slightly in pain, moaning a bit.
Jon tightened his grip on her hand and she continued,
“That you will one day be there with me and we will be together forever, Jon. God gave me a dream when we were sixteen and showed me that we would be married. Just as surely as I had the dream of you and I in heaven together.” she smiled though it was as faint as her voice.
Just then the hospital chaplain walked in and shook Jon’s hand, with a solemn look on his face. Jon asked him if it were possible to marry them right there. The chaplain looked to Laura who smiled her approval.
Quietly Jon and Laura stared at each other for what seemed hours, speaking volumes without their mouths. Then the chaplain put his left arm around Jon and held his and Laura’s hands in his as he slowly began,
“Dearly beloved we are here to unite …”” he began. The words seemed to drone on to Jon, until he said,
““Do you Jonathan Daniel Blemma take Laura Louisa Brunetti to be your lawfully wedded wife?” he asked.
“I do…” he replied. Even as he said the words, he was so torn between not knowing and happiness. He was struggling so hard with what Laura had said.
“I do!”” Laura exclaimed. Laura’s reply to the same question came in a near wheeze. Her heart was euphoric, despite all else.
“Then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife. Jon, you may kiss the bride.” he finished and then bowed his head in prayer, keeping his hand on Jon’s shoulders.
Jon leaned in and kissed Laura. As they broke the kiss, he leaned up, and said to her,
“Everything’s gonna be alright now honey…you’re gonna be fine now…”” he hoped his uncertainty was well masked.
She just looked at him smiling and said,
“Goodbye Jon, you and Caroline take good care of each other. I’ll be waiting.” she said, her voice waning.
A single tear traced its way down the side of her nose as she let go. Then a shrill beep signified that she had moved again.
Quickly the hospital staff moved into action to try to revive her. Still hopeful, he watched as they moved around her, pushing he and
Caroline to the back of the room. 
He looked over to thank the chaplain, but could not find him.  He looked over to Caroline now, who also began looking around. Finally, he looked to a nurse standing near him and asked her where he might find the chaplain. She looked at him oddly and then asked,
“Chaplain? I’m sorry sir; we don’t currently have a chaplain on staff. Are you sure he was a chaplain?” she asked. Now she was curious.
“He was tall, with big hands and a big heart. He was wearing a jacket over his clothes that had the hospital insignia…. didn’t he? He looked now to Caroline.
““Yes…” she said and then struggled to remember something else.  “Oh yes, and he was wearing a name tag…I believe it said Nathaniel or Nathan…. Something like that.” she said.
“Well, I’m sorry, there’s just no one here that fits that description or name.” she said, and then walked away.
Jon and Caroline now held each other as the staff began turning the equipment off and offering their condolences as they walked from the room…
VI
Slowly, Daniel woke from his dream. He found that he had been weeping in his sleep. It had been a long time since he had dreamed of Laura. He got out of bed and looked at the clock. It was six-thirty a.m.
It had been nearly twenty years since then. He sat at the kitchen table and pulled his bible toward him. He found it difficult to focus on reading, so he began to pray,
“Dear Lord, I just thank you for the time I had with Laura and that you gave her the assurance that I will one day be there with both of you. Oh, but Lord, I miss her so very much. She definitely had the heart of her Father. Lord I thank you for your mercy and patience with me. I also thank you for putting Caroline in my life after Laura went home — In Jesus’ name, amen” he said, ending the prayer abruptly.
Caroline. How strong she had been and such a Godsend. It was she that started calling him by his middle name. Actually, he had winced whenever she called him the same name Laura had. She picked up on that and started calling him Daniel. Now, there was no Laura and no Caroline. He had been such a jerk!
He realized then that it was finally time.
Slowly, he pushed each digit. A few ring tones and then he heard her sweet voice say,
“Hello.” she replied, her voice dripping with sleep.
Daniel’s heart stopped, then he finally spoke and said,
““Hi Carrie, it’s me, Daniel. Jon Daniel. I have so much to tell you about all that’s been going on in the last few weeks. Would you like to meet for lunch this afternoon and talk?” he asked, confidently.  It was the quiet confidence that caused him to know that everything is going to work out.