A warning tale in the style of Matilda shouted fire etcf |
A tragic tale of just retribution My youngest cousin, little Neville Upon passing his "O" level Got a job as general clerk In an office cold and dark ( T'was all the company could afford They were the local Water Board) The office on the topmost floor Had a sign upon the door "KNOCK AND ENTER" how precise! To enter then knock would not be nice (In fact it could be misconstrued and appear to be extremely rude. One day ,while Neville made the tea His boss, a certain Mr Lee, Said " mind the shop, lad, I'm just out To buy some ointment for my gout And Lee, then leaving, said, "Alright ?" If someone comes in BE POLITE." Ten minute later by the clock Upon the door there was a knock In came a woman, old and frail And in her hand she had a pail. Neville looked up and having seen her Assumed she was the office cleaner The lady, waiting was ignored While into the pot water was poured. And sugar and milk were in the cup Till a loud voice said "fill it up". The boy replied " just wait a minute Until I've put some teabags in it Her voice rang out in angry tone "Leave that dem' teapot alone Young man you do not understand You see this bucket in my hand? Now tell me true and tell me fast Is this the Water Board at last?" Neville then caused her great affront He said " I'm busy." Whatcherwant?" "Water, of course, and quick about it, In the pail and not without it, Take it from me, then, I pray, Tell me how much I should pay." he youth laughed loud ( bad-mannered chap) But filed the bucket from the tap Then, thinking he was quite a wag Produced a large brown paper bag "One pound a bucket is the fee But we'll let you have a bagfull FREE! But she approached him from behind While he was bent over the sink Chuckling to himself to think That he had made a hundred pence At the poor old girl's expense. Up went to bucket, water splashed Around his head the whole thing crashed His clothes were soaked , his shoes were sprayed They had to call the Fire Brigade For in the pail his head was crammed And, due to his ears, the thing was jammed. The Fire Brigade all did their best And soap and hard work did the rest They made him stand upon his head And pulled his heels while he was fed On slimming yoghourt through a straw Until he couldn't eat no more. Eventually he was released And said " I've been a little beast" So everyone take this advice When you meet old ladies best be nice And if the boss is out of sight And someone comes in BE POLITE. |