A New Beginning, Chapter Three:Lost

“Hey weirdo! Something wrong?!” they snickered.
“Aww, look it’s crying!” someone giggled.

I was still standing in the exact same spot of where I stood when Alice left me an hour ago; my arms were dangling uselessly at my sides. I didn’t bother answering or looking up to see who it was that were making me suffer further- names meant nothing to me really, they were all the same,  intertwined together, holding the same putrid soul.
“Hey! I said, ‘something wrong?’ Answer me freak. Do you not have any manners?” he questioned.

The rage of the fire was building up in me as it did so many times before. I could perhaps try to set the rage free and let it take over me, yet I knew that would somehow only make things worse.

As I pondered this, one shoved me. The impact sent me flying towards the ground. I landed with the sound of a crack- it rang in between my temples, and felt as if there was a saw lodged into my brain. “Answer me!” he roared as I lay helpless. Something hot and sticky trickled down my neck. The fire in me got stronger, stronger. So much strong that I ignored the pain, and sprang to my unstable feet. My hands curled up into hard balls of fists. I looked up, and I could see their faces then; it was the usual, James, Thomas, and Emma, but there was also a new addition to the gang. Alice stood there, arms tightly folded across her stomach; her features transformed into a fierce scowl and were unusually hard for someone who always used to seem in a cheerful mood.

Fresh tears formed and overflowed my eyes. I forgot my previous thoughts of the actions I was about to carry out. I was going to hurt her, I was about to hit her and the others. I didn’t care about the rest of them, they had always hated me, they deserved to feel pain. Alice was my friend though; we shared too many happy times together for me to even think of her in a bad way. As much as I knew how much she hated me, I didn’t want to cause her harm, I didn’t hate her.
“I hate you”, Alice whispered audible enough for only me to hear.  A new expression took its place- it was of an expression of someone who had been deeply betrayed.

I began to feel dizzy, I wasn’t sure if it was due to the minor head injury or those three words. All I knew was that I didn’t want to stay here any longer. I shook my head trying to get rid of the uncomfortable sensation-this did unfortunately make me dizzier however.

I spun around, closed my eyes and forced my legs to pull me forward. I heard the sound my feet made as they hit the concrete floor, my accelerated breathing, the thumping of my bag against my side, the ringing in my ears, and the faint sound of the wind whistling past my ears. I wondered how fast I was really going. I opened my eyes and was shocked to discover that I had already gone through the school gates.

Everything moved past me in a blur of colourful images. I was barely paying any attention as to where it was I was going, so it shouldn’t have bothered me that I was lost.  My head thumped, almost seeming to have its own heartbeat. I tried to ignore the sticky mess which mated at the roots of my hair, trickling down the slope of the back of my neck, seeping into my clothes.

I was out of the crowded area of where there were cars polluting the air, confused and concerned strangers staring at my retreating figure. I thought I seen my mother, but ignored that thought as soon as it crept its way into my mind; it was the flash of gold I thought was my mother’s hair, the stranger’s was the exact same shade. That reminder was then followed by the unwelcome images, they flashed so briefly behind my eyelids, that I could only see the colours-all of it red-, not the familiar shapes of my mother’s face and body.

A shiver passed through my body and clung to my spine, something startlingly loud and broken sounded close beside me, the vibrations sent tremors through me. I then noticed of how it burned and shot up my scorched throat. The sound was me. Tears streamed down my face, I didn’t bother wiping them away, I was concentrating too much on not collapsing to lift my limp hand, I needed to conserve all the energy that was built up in me. An endless stream of more sobs belonging to me rocked my body in further tremors-though not as violently as before. I didn’t care if I fainted, collapsed or even died. I didn’t want to have to face my mother’s pain, seeing her burn before my very eyes. I shouldn’t be alive. The pain of losing her would be of a much more intense agony than that to compare to the journey of death...and beyond.

My legs strained to pull me onward, they ached and burned from their lack of use, my accelerated, struggling heart thumped harder, faster, wanting to jump out of my mouth-which hung open, trying to meet the demands of the increased amount of oxygen I needed to keep me sustained. Me and my body weren’t used to exercise, I preferred to just stay within the confines of the walls of my house, reading books, completing homework in time for the deadlines to boost my poor grades.

My pace was slowing into a jog, the sobs persisted, the tears slowed, and the dizziness was becoming sickening. I wondered of how much blood I had actually lost by now. I was in an alley I had never been in before; the sun was setting, which made unusual, contorted, distorted shadows appear through the darkness. This reminded me of happier times, childhood...


Mum held my left hand in a tight grip, comforting me in the darkness. The sun was setting behind the peak of a strangely angled mountain, it left a faint orangey glow lingering in the pink sky, the moon was readying itself, a faint dot in the distance.
“Ooooh!!” Mark howled. “Ha! Ha! Am I scaring you Jess?” he challenged. “Boo!” He sat cross legged on the damp earth, holding a torch directly under his chin. The shadows casted startled me slightly and I whimpered uneasily, leaning into my mother’s side.
Mum turned her face towards me and rolled her eyes, a slight smile playing on her lips. She patted my arm and whispered, “Shhhh. It’s okay darling. He’s only joking.”
In the corner of my eye I saw a glint, the roaring fire which crackled a few feet away from me and the others caught my dad’s earring and shot out a beam of light, a reflection. I forgot he was there, he’d been so still.
“Oh Yes! I know! Let’s tell ghost stories!” Mark crowed, as he leaned in excitedly and animated.
“I don’t think...” mum intervened.
“Oh yeah! I know some really good ones too!” Thomas thrilled, ignoring mum.
“Thomas! Mark! Think of your sister”, she said turning her head briefly down at me.
“Well, I doubt she’d know of any really spooky stuff mum, she’s just five years old.”
Mum just looked at him, mouth open; about to say something .She wasn’t pleased.
“Err okay,” he said as he looked at her expression. “So, Jess,” he began as he addressed me. “Know of anything good? You know, like ghosts, or vampire stuff. Got any stories to share?”
I opened my mouth, “ugh...”
“No, what I meant was that. Well. You know what she can be like...”she murmured. “You know how easily frightened she can get at times...”
“Haa!” Thomas laughed.
Mum gave him a dark look, which helped to calm him.
“Oh please!” dad complained. “Honey, you know that you can’t keep her away from these things forever you know, you’re not going to be with her day and night....”
“I know. It’s just that...”
“Just that?”He questioned.
Mum murmured so low, I wasn’t sure I heard her properly, “She worries me. Part of her is frightened of things like this, but also part of her craves it...Remember, September 5th?...”-On the 5th of September- almost a month ago- I curiously stumbled upon a stack of Videos. The bright colours on their plastic cases intrigued me, so I placed them into the VCR and watched the storylines unfold. Turned out to be horror films...rated 18. Mum and dad caught me in the living room, on my own watching them. The films didn’t scare me, I sort of enjoyed them. Some parts made me laugh, even though they were not intentionally supposed to. I got in big trouble, and found that ever since, I was being monitored and watched by my family more often...
“It’s alright babe, you shouldn’t be so worried. Every child gets curious,” he grinned, hoping to ease the tension mum felt. It didn’t.
Mum sighed and wrapped her free arm around me, pulling me in closer.
“Okay, so anyway. I know this one of vampires...” Mark began.
Because of the way mum held me so closely, I could feel and was aware of the shivers that shook her at the mention of the word ‘vampire’.
As the stories grew more and more in depth-with both brothers and dad participating frequently, finishing off each other’s sentences-I turned them into a reality, making shadows from the nearby dark, mysterious forest, form into creatures from the stories...


I was then suddenly pulled back into the present and into reality. I was still in the alley, and was strangely alert, I must of had been seeing things as I could’ve sworn I’d seen something following me, it was graceful, in the sense of a predator readying itself for the pounce on its prey. It was like the formations I had created with my mind during the night camping. I wasn’t afraid, though, my mind always played tricks on me, and it was due to my wild, overactive imagination, like the time I thought I saw something peering into my bedroom window during the night.

The alley wasn’t very long, but once I was out of it, I wished I was inside its comforting barriers once more.  I was out in the open, and didn’t have a clue as to which direction to go in.

The sun no longer shone bright in the sky, it was a faint orange glow in the distance hidden behind a hill. The sky had welcomed the moon, which floated among the glistening stars. The sky was a deep navy in most areas and a pale violet in others. I wondered if mum was back from work yet and if she noticed that I was missing.

I glanced around myself, to my right was a forest buried within  dark shadows, some trees were slender and shot high up in the sky, others were thick and towered triumphantly high above everything else. Closest to my left was a wooden park bench. Directly in front of me was a path, it twisted and curved and lead off into the distance.

I was suddenly exhausted, the pain and the dizziness was now unbearable. I lifted my arm, placed it on the back of my neck and followed the trail of blood left by the injury, until my hand reached the exact point of the strongest pain. At the base of my skull there was the gash, it wasn’t very large but it made up in the amount of pain and blood it left. I took my hand away and looked at it, there cupped in the palm of my hand was a small pool of hot, sticky dark liquid.

I sucked in a deep breath of air to steady myself. I needed to rest before I fainted or collapsed.  My two options were either the bench or the forest. Most people would prefer the bench; I however found the forest strangely appealing. I cupped my hand back over the injury-hoping to ease the flow of blood-and willed my legs to move me forward in uneasy lurches.

The shadows of the forest welcomed me, they made me feel safe. Even though I couldn’t see my hand stretched out right in front of my face, I wasn’t afraid, I preferred the dark. I was no longer out in the open, exposed.

I smiled to myself as I settled upon the dusty, hard earth, curled up into a tight ball and softly sighed a lullaby to carry me off into unconsciousness. As I drifted closer and closer to the edges of unconsciousness, my mind played tricks on me once more.

The hallucination of the same shadow from the alley, the camp fire night, and also from my bedroom window danced in front of me. It sang a caressing song of both happiness and sadness, its voice was harmonious amongst the rustling of the leaves above from where I lay.  Its movements were graceful, much as the creature from the alley.  It leaped up high, danced and twirled upon the branch of a nearby oak tree. Such beauty shouldn’t be possible to exist, my mind knew not of such grace. It soothed, yet saddened me. Perhaps this was a sign, a sign from my own mind.
A gust of wind came in through the east, the creature drifted off into the pull of the wind. Its whispering voice faded off into the rattle of the leaves.

A cool liquid pooled in my eyes and fell silently down the slope of my cheeks.

Before the blackness of the forest pulled me under once more, I wondered at which temperature hypothermia sets in. My body was too drained of energy to shiver. The surrounding air was not hot and stuffy as it was earlier during the day.

A deep rumble of anger and blinding light broke free from the sky. The noise surrounded me from every angle, and was enough to deafen, to burst the ear drums; my arms were too weak to cover my ears from the sound, so I tried to ignore it. The light not only shone in blinding flashes, but also reached down towards the earth in lines which cracked the sky.

The wind got fiercer, stronger and colder. It howled and stayed in perfect rhythm with the thunder and light. The leaves rattled as the trees were being pulled from side to side. Nearby I heard the sound of a tree being pulled up from its roots. I still was not afraid; I didn’t care what happened to me.

Another deep rumble, this time closer, it was directly above from where I lay. Along with the rumble, came raindrops. They drenched the earth, the surrounding vegetation and myself.  The rain soaked deep within my clothes, my knotted hair and trickled down to the gash on my head. The rain burned deep into the injury.

The pain was unbearable, through the slits made by my narrowed eyes I could make out a shape –silhouetted against the flashes-closing in on me. I passed out in the next moment.  I was glad that the blackness took over, at least I would then have a break from the pain I felt both inside, in my heart and the pain on the outside.