Exit Romeo

Smog, from the factories downtown, encircled the porch, slipping through the trees in the early morning.

He stepped out through the doorway several hours before she normally woke. He had a cup of coffee with him, a backpack, which he set down next to his wicker chair, and a carton containing his last two fags and a lighter. He sat down and took a long sip from his cup, warming his hands on the heated ceramic. A truck passed by.

He decided that he wouldn't take the car. It wouldn't be fair to take it; she owned it as much as he, and she would not know where he'd gone. He would walk to the station.

The cold light hurt his tired eyes, and he rubbed them for a few seconds. He thought he heard a noise from inside the house, and froze for a few moments. Nothing. She never woke early anyway.

He considered her lover; dark-haired, athletic, handsome. It felt odd that he knew so little about this man, considering what they had in common. He thought he might have cared to find out more, had he been younger, but he was old enough now to know that his rival was not the problem, and so did not have a part to play in the solution.

He lit a smoke and drank his coffee and let his thoughts wander. A sudden stab of guilt pierced his mind as he realized that he would not be there to clean out the gutters or rake the leaves. A small voice inside him put him at ease; she wouldn't keep the house anyway. With him gone she would be free at last to move into town, into some modern apartment with some modern man. He imagined her in the city, at cocktail parties and concert houses. Never mind the gutters, the voice said, and he put out his cigarette.

He got to his feet and picked up his backpack, slinging it over one shoulder. He closed his eyes, breathed, and opened them again. Then he walked down the stairs of his porch and down the driveway toward the road. He felt like he was watching a tape of himself, coming home from work on any given day, except rewinded, a reverse homecoming.

She watched him leave in the shadow of the doorway.