No Cracker For Polly

This year Jack’s wife had gone all out. After a lengthy surprise party celebrating Jack’s thirtieth (or, as he liked to call it, his twenty-tenth) birthday, Nancy brought out the biggest surprise of all.

With help from her sister and Jack’s brother, Nancy carried a large birdcage covered with a slate gray tarp out onto the back patio. Jack flipped a burger on the grill and looked up at Bill Swarthy.

“I’m telling you, Bill, this guy will really turn things around for us. I mean –“ Jack broke off. “Bill? What is it?”

Bill was pointing over Jack’s shoulder, mouth hanging open. Jack turned and a grin crept across his face. Nancy and her attendants set the cage down on the patio table.

“Nancy, you didn’t – “

“Happy birthday, Jack.” With a flourish, she pulled the tarp off the top of the cage. A bright blue and yellow parrot sat on the perch. The crowd drew in its breath then broke into applause. The bird bobbed its head. One foot twitched nervously, talons scratching the wooden perch. Then the bird spoke. The applause died away, then turned to nervous, tittering laughter after the bird delivered its one-line soliloquy.

In a high, squawking voice, it repeated three times, “If you tell anyone what you saw, I’ll kill you.”

* * *

“I’m sorry, Bobbi. If I hear from him, I’ll let you know.” Nancy hit the red “END” button. “That was Bobbi Swarthy,” she told Jack, who sat in the easy chair across the living room. “She said Bill never made it home. Weren’t you talking to him out back?”

Jack and Bill had been discussing the Tigers chances for the pennant this year, when they both realized they were the only ones left in the backyard, and the evening was getting dark. Bill helped Jack carry the birdcage into the sunroom and recover it with the tarp before leaving via the back door.

“Yeah, we were just out back,” Jack replied. He rose and walked into the sun room. “We put the cover on Polly here and then – “ Jack stopped as his gaze turned to his moonlit backyard. Something was floating in the pool.

“Nancy – “

As he said his wife’s name, the birdcage began to rattle violently next to him, Jack’s words drowned out by the thrashing of wings and the raspy phrase, “If you tell anyone what you saw, I’ll kill you,” repeated over and over.

Shaken, Jack ran into the yard. Bill floated facedown in the deep end of the pool, blood flowing from his head, forming twisting red spider-webs in the water.

“Nance, Bill's in the pool, call the police now!”

Nancy screamed. Jack ran to the house and flung open the sunroom door. The birdcage stood bare before him, the tarp crumpled across the room as if it had been hurriedly thrown there. The open cage door rocked back and forth, squeaking on its hinges. A fury of broken feathers littered the vicinity of the cage. The bird was gone. The house was quiet.

“Nancy?” Jack edged toward the living room. He saw the bird, sitting on top of Nancy’s Lay-Z-Boy. He saw Nancy’s hand on the armrest, palm-up, cell phone in hand. He heard the familiar beeping of a disconnected line.

The parrot turned its head as Jack crept in. Its beady black eyes followed Jack as he cautiously circled the room.

Jack’s knees gave out as he rounded the chair and saw Nancy, her head rolled back on her shoulders. Her eyes stared at the ceiling at nothing at all. Blood pured down her midsection from her savaged throat. The parrot looked skyward and bobbed its head, downing the last of its snack.

Gray clouds crept in at the edges of Jack’s vision. He felt himself lose consciousness. Before he did, he heard the bird once more repeat its vicious phrase.