CYOA: You are Taylor Swift

ACT 1

You're in New York City, and this weekend the MTV Video Music Awards are airing. You've been nominated for Best Female Video and will be performing a "new" version of You Belong With Me. But little do you know that dark, evil forces are conspiring to not only ruin the VMAs, but take over the world as well! But for now, you'll live in blissful ignorance of your epic destiny. You whip out your phone and call your good friend Selena Gomez. As she rambles on about Wizards of Waverly Place, you lose interest in what she's saying. Suddenly, her voice takes on a more seductive tone. "Taylor, are you listening to me?" You snap out of your stupor. "Uh, yeah," you respond, wondering when she learned to sound so...sexy. Noticing the dark thunderclouds outside, you decide to close your blinds. Alone in the room, and with Selena's voice still talking in the background, you slowly start to shimmy out of your pants...when someone knocks on the door! Embarassed, you quickly pull your pants up, hang up on Selena, and open the door to find...Selena? "Hey Taylor! I thought I'd come surprise you!" she exclaims. You laugh but then quickly turn away so she doesn't see how much you're blushing.

"So, uh, do you want to come inside?" you ask. "Well I didn't come all this way to just say hi!" she says, jumping up and down. Your eyes briefly glance down at her perky bouncing..."Taylor! You've got a huge TV in here!" Selena yells, running over to the bed. "Oh yeah, yeah I do," you say quickly, again hiding your blushing. As Selena absentmindedly flips through the channels, you open the blinds and look out at the darkened clouds to get your mind off her. Suddenly, you see a streak of green in the clouds. "Whoa!" you exclaim. "What?" Selena asks. "Oh, nothing," you respond quickly, not wanting her to think you're crazy. You check again and see nothing. It must have been your imagination. Selena leaves for a moment to go get her room key, but when she returns, she's angry. "There was a mistake! They deleted my reservations!" she yells. "You could sleep here with me!" you blurt out suddenly. Selena giggles. "Okay! It'll be like a slumber party!" While Selena happily unpacks her things, you go off into the shower. While you're in the shower, you peer out a window (there's a window in the bathroom). For some reason, that green streak is haunting you. What was it? Suddenly, you see two more green streaks darting through the sky. You stumble to grab your phone and try to take a picture, but you trip over the side of the tub and fall out. The door slams open. "Taylor, are you alright?" asks Selena. Then she stares at you awkwardly.

Without thinking, you leap to your feet and hug her. You're wet and naked, and she's still in her clothes. After you embrace, there's an another awkward silence. "Thanks for checking on me," you quickly stammer, to explain why you just hugged her. Selena, blushing furiously, just nods and steps out of the room. You get back into the shower and turn the knob to "cold." Later on, you ask Selena if she wants to go out for dinner. Neither of you acknowledge the earlier "incident." Seeing Selena all dressed up makes your heart beat quicker. Why are you suddenly feeling like this, you wonder? And perhaps more importantly...what were those green streaks? After dinner, you return to your room with Selena, who decides to go get in her pajamas in the bathroom. Craving more of your precious Selena, you creep over to the door, hearing her moving around inside. You hear her slip on something and proceed to barge into the room. Selena is standing there in her underwear. "I slipped on the water on the floor," Selena laughs. "Yeah well, now we're even," you say to her. Selena narrows her eyes. "Not quite. You haven't seen me naked." And then she walks past you, still in her underwear, and climbs into the room's only bed.

You climb into bed without even asking Selena (hey, it's your room) and to your surprise, she cuddles up next to you. You absentmindedly click through the channels until you realize Selena is nodding off to sleep on your shoulder. This time, you don't blush: you've come to terms with the fact that you've got a crush on not only a girl, but one of your friends. As you slowly move her head aside so she can sleep on the pillow, she wakes up. "Did I fall asleep?" she asks. "Yeah, just for a minute," you reply. Then she smiles. "Should we get even for earlier?" You start stuttering rapidly. "Uh, well, if you want to, I mean that's kind of weird, not that there's anything wrong with that, but I mean I'm a girl and you're a girl, and earlier was an accident and this time it'd be on purpose, and--" Selena cuts you off by gently kissing you on the lips. You immediately close your eyes and start kissing her back, rolling over on top of her. You break away for a moment to catch your breath. Selena speaks first--"Wow Taylor, I didn't know you could kiss like that..." You smile and move in to kiss her again. Then the door slams open. Two men in suits, holding guns, burst into the room. "Taylor Swift? Selena Gomez? You're under arrest."

ACT 2

After being thrown in a van, you're knocked out with a sedative. You wake up in a dark cell. "Selena? Are you out there?" you scream into the darkness. Suddenly, the lights turn on and you see a table in front of you with two chairs. An agent sits in one of them and motions for you to sit in the other. "Sir, I'm sorry but I think you have a mistake, I'm Taylor Swift and I'm supposed to be at the MTV VMAs tonight--" The man cuts you off. "Yes, we know who you are, and no, we haven't made a mistake." He then spends several minutes organizing papers and ignoring you. "Uh, so why am I here?" you blurt out impatiently. "I'm not allowed to discuss it with you, but someone will be here shortly." He then gets up and walks out of the room. You notice he left both the papers on the desk and the door unlocked. You decide to make a break for it, running down a clean white hallway. At the end, you bump into another agent. "Uh..." is all you can say before they grab you and start dragging you to the room again. "Hey! Put me down! I'm supposed to be performing at the VMAs tonight! Put me down!" They drag you back into the room and slam you down into the seat again. Another agent walks back in and sits before you. "Hello Taylor. My name is Agent Eastwood. We require your services because you are the only one with the gift to stop what is about to happen. In 48 hours, a trio of individuals with the intent to take over the world are going to awaken and attack New York City. It is your job to stop them." You sit dumbfounded for a moment. "...me? I'm a 19 year old girl! How am I supposed to stop anyone or save the world?!" you exclaim. "Don't worry. Like I said, you have the gift,' Agent Eastwood says.

"Where is Selena? I'm not doing anything until you tell me where she is," you snap. "Oh, Ms. Gomez? Yes, we had to sedate any witnesses, standard procedure, but she's fast asleep in her hotel room right now," Eastwood says. "Now, come with me." He leads you down the hallway to a room filled to the brim with guns of all kinds. "What am I supposed to be doing with these?!" you shout. "You'll need them to help you eliminate the targets," Eastwood says casually. "I don't have any idea how to use a gun! I've never even held one!" Eastwood smiles. "Just take one. I suggest this," he says, pointing to a handgun. "It's small and compact, with little recoil." You hesistantly pick it up. "Now, you have a few choices. Would you like to go to the firing range for practice, the kitchen for lunch, or the briefing room for more info?" "I guess I want to go to the firing range," you mumble, still rather confused. Eastwood leads you to another room, with wooden popup boards shaped like people. As you pick up the handgun, you realize that you've absentmindedly loaded it. "I don't remember learning how to do that," you think to yourself. You pick it up and fire, immediately hitting one of the targets. "Whoa! I'm pretty good at this!" you exclaim. "I told you!" Eastwood says on the sidelines. You keep firing and have a 90% accuracy rate. After target practice, you find yourself somewhat hungry.

Your stomach rumbling, you head down to the kitchen and make yourself a sandwich. You realize you haven't eaten anything since you went to dinner with Selena yesterday. You also wonder if you'll still be able to make it to the VMAs and perform. As you eat, Eastwood enters. "Taylor, it's imperative that you get to the briefing room. We don't have as much time as I thought." You enter the briefing room, still eating the sandwich. Another agent points at a 3D map of New York City. "At approximately 2:35 and 11:16 PM last night, three green streaks were spotted over the city," the agent begins. "Ohyeah! Isawdose!" you say with a mouth full of sandwich. "Yeah, so, we believe those were the experimental propulsion devices used by the three targets, nicknamed November, Juliet, and Kilo," the agent continues, "and we need you, Taylor, to hunt them down and destroy them by any means necessary. Do you accept?" "Alright. I'll do it," you say hesistantly. "Okay then, Taylor," Eastwood says, "let's go to the garage." The two of you enter the garage. Sitting before you is a fancy Mercedes SUV. "Whoa, sweet. What will I do with this?" Eastwood gestures to the drivers' seat. "It's your's. There's a built-in GPS system that will track the three targets."

ACT 3

"I suppose I'll go after November first, though I'm not sure it matters," you grumble. You drive the car down to the docks, where the GPS claims the target November is. However, you see nothing. You notice a large military ship docked nearby, and decide to investigate to make sure it's clear. As you approach, you notice one of the doors has been broken off. "Uh oh," you mutter quietly as you enter the dark ship and turn on your flashlight. "Yesterday I was all ready for the VMAs, and today I'm sneaking around a dark, dirty ship! How did I get into this mess?" you question aloud. Suddenly, you hear a noise from a room down the hall. The noise sounds like a voice. You decide to eavesdrop on the room, listening at the door. You hear a young male voice saying "yes, but we don't know where they sent her," and then a pause, as someone on the phone speaks. A moment later, the voice returns, saying "alright, I'll be there." You hear a loud crash and proceed to burst into the room. You're greeted by sunlight: the person in the room blew a hole through the ceiling and flew off.

You decide to go ahead and call Eastwood for help. "Agent Eastwood, I think I found one of the targets, but he flew off before I could get him," you explain. "Don't worry Taylor, because we've got great news. Target November is flying out to a meeting location with the other two targets, Juliet and Kilo. You can nab all three of them at the same time! We've uploaded the location to your GPS." You decide to spy on the meeting place from the roof. The meeting place is inside a large office building, so you make your way to the roof of an adjacent building. You look at your phone and realize there's only a few hours until the VMAs. You quickly leap across a small gap to the meeting place building, then slide through a skylight. You crawl up into the vent and can hear voices from three different rooms.

Deciding to see if any "action" is happening in the bathroom, you sneak through the vents and hide over one of the stalls. You hear November from earlier speaking. "Yeah, I got some hot man-loving action earlier. I just hope nobody finds out the truth. My career would be ruined." Your eyes narrow. Then you hear another person speak. "Yeah, good thing the media thinks I'm totally straight." So they're people recognized by the media? You hear the bathroom door open and their footsteps indicate they're leaving the room. After a moment's hesitation, you leap down from the vents to see two masked figures. "Ah, Taylor. How nice of you to join us," November says. You fumble for your handgun, but November kicks you in the stomach and sends you crashing through a stall. November's friend leaps into the air, but you suddenly roll aside without thinking and he hits the wall. "How'd I do that?" you think to yourself, but don't have time to ponder further as November breaks a pipe off the sink and swings it at you. Everything goes into bullet time and you dodge the pipe. You wrench it out of his hand and swing it backwards, inadvertently clocking the other man. Then you whip it forwards and smack November upside the head. Both fall unconscious on the floor. You strike a victory pose, and then reach forward to remove November's mask. "Not so fast, Taylor," says a familiar voice. Another masked figure enters.

"Oh yeah? Why don't you stop me?" you challenge, before jumping forward. "Let's see who's behind this mask!" You rip it off dramatically and then stare in shock. "NICK JONAS?!" Thinking quickly, you rip the other man's mask off to reveal Kevin Jonas! You turn back to the doorway as the shadowy figure, Joe Jonas, steps in. "So Taylor, the government sent you in here to take us out, did they? Well, there's nothing that can stop us from taking over the world. Not even you and your new martial arts skills. Now step aside or make me a sandwich. Or both." "Sandwich? How about I sandwich you between my fists!" you yell before jumping forward and tackling Joe into the hallway. He stands up again and swings his foot, smashing through a pillar behind you as you duck. You trade fist blows before Joe finally grabs you by the neck and hurls you across a chasm in the room to the other side. He leaps across and smashes the window behind you, then tries to shove you out. "I'm sorry it has to end this way," Joe snarls. You muster your strength and flip him over you and out the window. As he falls, however, he activates a jetpack and flies off, leaving a familiar green streak behind him. You run back into the bathroom to find Nick and Kevin missing. You dial up Agent Eastwood as you run to to your Mercedes SUV. "Eastwood, I encountered the targets. Why didn't you tell me they were the Jonas Brothers?!" you exclaim. "Well, I figured it'd be better if you went into the mission with a clear head," Eastwood tells you. "The most important thing is that you get to them before they get to the VMAs. After they destroy everyone there, they'll begin taking over the world tomorrow." You leap in the car. Suddenly, a Cadillac SUV pulls up. Joe is driving, and Nick is sitting in the backseat...holding Selena at knifepoint. Joe waves and they drive off.

ACT 4

You kick the SUV into gear and tear down the street after them. They swerve off the road into traffic on the crowded freeway. As you drive out onto the freeway, Kevin pops out of the sunroof with a submachine gun and starts firing at your car. You wildly steer out behind another car, which gets shot full of lead. As you drive into an adjacent lane, you aim your handgun out the window and put a few bullets into the passenger's window of their SUV, causing them to fall back. You stop the car right there in the street and pop your head out the window, firing your pistol at the Jonas Brothers' SUV. You notice them speeding up and realize they're going to ram you. You don't have enough time to get completely out of the way, and so they smash up the back of your SUV as you try to drive away. You start spinning wildly and desperately try to regain control. They drive past you and up onto the overpass. In the distance is the Radio City Music Hall, the location of the VMAs. You gun the engine and speed up, the car literally falling apart as you accelerate. You dramatically fly over the median and land right in front of their car, smashing into them. You get thrown through the windshield, but somehow survive with only cuts and bruises. Kevin steps out of the car and starts shooting at you, but you flip over the bullets and land in front of him. With a swift punch to the windpipe, Kevin staggers off the overpass and into oncoming traffic. "I guess even with that purity ring he still got rammed," you snicker.

You throw aside some of the wreckage when suddenly, you hear a gun click behind you. Nick is standing there with a pistol. You stand up slowly and turn around with your hands raised. "That's right Taylor. Don't make any sudden movements," he growls, a large gash on his face. "I should kill you right now, but Joe would like to kill you himself. Revenge for your little break-up incident last fall." "Is that what this is about?" you ask. "No, we're destroying the world because we work for Disney. That's what Disney does. But Joe wants you dead for personal reasons, yes. Now, where is Joe..." Nick turns around to see Selena standing right behind him with his knife. "Why don't you suck on this, jerk!" she yells before thrusting the knife into his neck. "Excellent work, Selena!" you exclaim. Suddenly, you hear the roar of an engine. Joe flies up into the air on his green streak-emitting jetpack. "Adios, Taylor!" he laughs.

Thinking quickly, you grab a piece of debris and chuck it at him. It hits him square in the chest and sends him spinning. You spot Kevin's jetpack in the wreckage and don it. "I'll be back, Selena," you say dramatically before launching into the air and smashing into Joe as he tries to regain his momentum. Joe glares at you and then flies off towards the Music Hall. You take a moment to get acquainted with the controls, then blast off after him. You pull out your pistol and try to fire at Joe, but moving and shooting in midair is difficult and you don't land any shots. Joe presses an acceleration button and flames burst from his jetpack, forcing you to fall back a bit. He soars on ahead and you fly faster and over top of him. Finally, you dive bomb him and grapple with him in midair. He headbutts you, but you knee him in the crotch and he spins away. Pulling back, you aim your gun and put a bullet straight into his jetpack, causing him to spiral into the Music Hall and explode.

You land at the large pile of debris where Joe crashed into the side of the Music Hall. Hundreds of people stare in confusion as you arrive and rifle through the wreckage. Suddenly, Joe smashes out, still with his jetpack, and swoops at you, tackling you to the ground. "Nothing will stop me from DESTROYING YOU!" Joe roars as the crowd shrieks. He raises his fist up, but suddenly Selena appears and whacks him in the back of the head with a wooden board. Joe staggers to his feet and looks between you two. Before Joe can get back in the air, you lunge at him and rip his jetpack off, throwing it aside. Then you deck him across the face. "Not so fast are we now, huh Jonas?" you laugh, grabbing a metal pipe and smashing him in the chest with it. As he lays wounded on the ground, you reach for your gun. As the crowd watches, you raise your gun and point it at his face. But then, you slowly lower it. "You deserve to rot away in jail," you growl. The crowd starts cheering wildly at your act of generosity. Russell Brand, host of the VMAs, steps out of the crowd holding a trophy. "Well, the festivities haven't started yet, but I think we can go ahead and give Taylor her award for Best Female Video...not to mention the savior of our lives!" Everyone starts cheering again as you step up. "Well, I'm kind of out of breath from fighting, but uh, thanks for the award, and thank you to the fans--"

"Yo Taylor, I'm happy for you, and I'm gonna let you finish, but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time."

ACT 5

Everyone looks into the darkness to see someone emerging. But when you see who it is, your jaw drops. "Agent Eastwood?!" Eastwood chuckles as he walks onto the platform with you. "Surprised to see me, Taylor?" he asks, a menacing smile on his face. Suddenly, his skin melts off to reveal none other than Kanye West! "You've played right into my trap. Thank you for eliminating the Jonas Brothers for me. Now it's your turn to die." Thinking quickly, you chuck the trophy at Kanye, but he moves in the blink of an eye and dodges it. "I'm sure you're wondering why we're here, why I led you on this wild goose chase, and why I didn't just have you killed before," he explains eloquently, "but we don't really have time for that. You see, soon I'm going to harnass all the energy in Manhattan to create a weapon that can wipe any city off the face of the Earth, and you can't stop me. So be a good girl, roll over, and die." Selena sneaks up behind him with her wooden board, but he suddenly spins around, kicks the board in two, and then grabs her by the neck. "On second thought, this might be fun!" he laughs before somehow flying into the air with Selena.

You snatch your jetpack again and fly towards him, but he holds Selena in front of himself. "I wouldn't do that, Taylor," Kanye taunts. "Put her down! This is between you and me!" you yell. "Alright, if you say so," Kanye shrugs, dropping Selena. You snatch Selena and land her on the roof of the Music Hall. Meanwhile, Joe stands up and starts to make a break for it when Kanye lands in front of him. "You're really a heartless monster," Joe snarls as Kanye raises his gun. "Yes, well, these are trying times," he laughs before blowing Joe's head off. You whip out your pistol, leap into the air with the jetpack, and start firing off rounds. Kanye dodges all of them Matrix-style. "Taylor, I have no need for the physical confines of this world," he laughs wickedly. Then he unleashes a machine gun barrage. Right as the bullets are about to hit you, you find yourself dodging them. "See, I told you that you had the gift," Kanye chuckles, throwing his gun aside. Then he pops out a switchblade and swings it dramatically.

You realize that the roof isn't going to be safe enough, so you grab Selena and pull her close. "I'm getting you out of here," you say as you start to fly up. "No way! I'm going to help you!" she exclaims. You reluctantly hand her your gun. "If things get tough out there, just start shooting. Don't worry about me." Then you fly down to Kanye. He floats up into the air and extends his arms, creating an energy bubble around himself. All the lights in Manhattan start flickering. You grab a chunk of rock, fly into the air, and hurl it at him. It disintegrates when it touches his forcefield. Suddenly, you realize...if you have the gift, can you do what he can? You slowly remove the jetpack and find yourself still floating in midair. Kanye laughs. "I was wondering when you'd figure that out." Then the entire Manhattan skyline goes dark. Kanye glows with blue light. "Excellent! Now I have all the power!" You feel your hand magnetically attracted towards him, and suddenly you start siphoning some of his energy. "Oh, we're going to play that game, are we? Well, take this!" Kanye twirls his switchblade, infuses it with energy, and flicks it at you. You instinctively catch it in midair.

You outstretch both of your hands and begin sucking more of his energy away. Kanye retaliates by unleashing a blast that shatters every window on the block and sends you crashing into a building. By this point, the crowd has fled, leaving only you and Kanye in the deserted, darkened street. On the Music Hall roof, Selena raises her rifle and starts firing wildly; having never received your training or "gift," she fails to hit anything. Kanye fires a blast at the roof and nearly hits her, distracting him long enough to allow you to rush him. You tackle him, but he releases another blast with his feet. You go flying straight through the Music Hall and onto the stage. Surrounded by wreckage, you start to fade out of consciousness. As you fade in and out of consciousness, Kanye floats into the Music Hall, still glowing with blue energy. "Yes! Here it comes! I shall destroy all of Manhattan, and then the world!" Electricity starts arcing out of him and blasting the walls. You slowly stagger to your feet as Kanye looks on with derision. "I suppose I'll have to kill you first," he growls before blasting a huge blue laser straight at you. Suddenly, gunshots ring out and Kanye falls, wounded. Selena is standing behind him with her rifle. "Now Taylor! Get him!" she yells, before Kanye spins around. In the blink of an eye, he whips another electricity-charged switchblade straight into Selena's stomach.

Kanye turns back to you and begins charging another blast. You just gape with shock as Selena crumples to the floor. You feel your own energy surging inside you, and slowly rise into the air, surrounded by your own electricity. Kanye watches with confusion. "How are you doing that? Are you draining my energy?" he asks incredulously. Your eyes glaze over with energy and your voice booms. "KANYE WEST! IT IS TIME FOR YOUR DOOM! ALSO, YOUR MUSIC SUCKS!" And with that, all of your energy blasts outward. Kanye barely has time to open his mouth before he is disintegrated in a huge blast of light.

With Kanye gone, you walk over to Selena. "Selena, you can't die on me now!" you cry, "I love you! I really do!" Energy starts seeping from your fingers and into her body. It surrounds her heart and suddenly, it starts beating again. Selena gasps and opens her eyes. "Taylor! You saved me!" she says quietly. The two of you return to your hotel room. "I think you should rest. We've had a long couple of days," you whisper, gently laying her down on your bed. Selena grins. "What are you smiling about?" you ask. "Well, you're probably going to want to clean my wound out," Selena says in an increasingly seductive tone, "and that means you're going to have to take my shirt off." Blushing furiously, you nod and start to pull her shirt off, but she yanks you down and starts kissing you before you can.

The next morning, you comb your hair in the bathroom while Selena takes a shower. This time, nobody accidentally walked in on each other. Your phone rings, and you pick it up. "Taylor Swift? I've seen your abilities on TV, and I think I have a mission for you." You nod and turn around dramatically. "Alright. You can count on me."

THE END