Anxiety

I find myself seated surrounded by only beach, cliffs, and this storm. I have been through it once already this hurricane of loneliness that destroyed everything around and leaving me with nothing early on as it lashed out at the beginning of this long summer. I survived. I weathered. I lost a lot sure, but in the end I am standing here with the torn clothes on my back, but most importantly I'm still on the Rock. Who needs pitiful twigs of pride that made up my house or the intact seam of these designer labels? All they really stood for, was to hide the true strength of the Rock.

I can see it and feel it on all sides; This storm rages in my mind, body, and soul. Part of me wants to venture out away from the rock and play in the light rain at the storms edge. Luckily I've learned better by now. Sickness and danger are the only things I've ever gained by this tiny bit of fun. Besides, when you're soaking wet after a storm, who wants to keep playing in the rain?

I decide to stand and examine the Rock. It's my only protection now and I need to know everything about it if I am going to survive round two of this torrential storm. I talk to it, I listen on the wind for the echos in it's structure, and I examine the writing printed all over its very face. I find people on the Rock searching for the same thing I am - Safety. I show them the things that I've found and the beauty I am in awe of. We know we can't stay here long. We part ways trusting the paths the Rock is laying out.

Now, I start to get anxious. The wind has picked up and I know it's only a matter of time. I want to run. I want to hide. If only there was something over my head to make me know that I'll be safe. My feet start moving faster and faster. I can feel the Rock beneath my feet, but I can't see more than a few inches ahead where my next foot step will land. I suddenly find myself against a rock wall. With no other options left I start climbing; climbing as fast as I can. My fingers burn, my arms ache, my legs start to quiver. I stop; I hold on with everything I have as the first drops of icy rain hit my skin.

It's here. Suddenly once again the crippling storm that destroyed my life and ruined my house has come back for the only thing I have left: my life. It pounds itself against the Rocks face. It howls in every valley and cliff around me, but it can't reach me. I cry out "Holy God, King above all kings! Hold me here against your side and take my fear of this storm away. For you are the only thing that stands in its path and the only security I have ever had. Continue to guide my steps and protect me from wrong turns and my own head knowledge."

The wind dies. Light appears all around me as I now see I am only feet from the top. I pick my self up and look around. Once again I find myself surrounded on all sides by beach, cliff, and storm. So, I sit down. I dig in. I implant myself into the Rock. I look up and see these markings carved in my new home:

Philippians 4:4-8

4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!
5 Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near.
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.