This Job Sucks!

The advertisement made the job sound perfect.  GOOD PAY!  FLEXIBLE HOURS!  FUN, OUTSIDE WORK.  NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY.  GREAT FOR COLLEGE STUDENTS!

"What the fuck ever!"  Ben grumped under his breath as he lugged his cart of supplies into the elevator.  Selling industrial cleaning supplies wasn't exactly what he called "fun, outside work".  He spent most of his day carrying the damn supplies to and from his car!  Plus, since this job was commission based and he sucked at selling anything so far, he knew his paycheck would be pretty skimpy.  As the elevator finally reached the 5th floor, Ben sighed, forced a cheerful smile and pushed his cart full of crap down the hallway. 

He finally saw the sign for the person he was looking for, Mr. James Karaway.  He had already spoken briefly to Mr. Karaway on the phone earlier today.  In fact, most businesses don't allow unsolicited salesmen,so Ben spent his first hour or two in the morning calling various companies to see if they would be willing to sit for a demonstration of his "great, amazing new products!".  He only actually landed two or three appointments a day.  Most of the owners or managers he spoke to either gave him an abrupt goodbye or yelled at him for interrupting them in the first place. 

James Karaway was a strange one though.  When they were on the phone earlier, Mr. Karaway had seemed so excited to see the salesman demonstration that it almost frightened Ben.  What kind of person got that excited about being shown cleaning supplies?  Was James some kind of obsessive compulsive freak?

Ben knocked firmly on the office door, anxious to get this over with.  This was his last appointment of the day and he desperately wanted to go home and get out of this monkey suit.  The door swung open to reveal a nice looking older lady with surprisingly big boobs.  They were drooping a little bit, but they were still pretty big knockers.  Ben forced himself to look into her face and speak professionally.  "Hello, I'm here to see James Karaway.  We had an appointment for me to show him our fabulous new line of office cleaning products." 

The lady ushered him inside, pointed to a small waiting area and closed the door again.  "Mr. Karaway will be with you soon.  He is just finishing up a teleconference with our CEO."

Ben sat down in one of the stiff, black leather chairs and picked up an old golf magazine.  He didn't really like golf, but what else do you do in a waiting room besides sit and pretend to read boring, out of date magazines?  As he flipped through the pages without really looking at them, he wondered what position James Karaway actually had.  Obviously he must be important in this company if he had his own secretary and worked closely with the CEO.  Ben didn't have a clue exactly what the Bradburn Company did, but he knew it had something to do with telecommunications.  Ben had actually just called this company on a whim, figuring a building this large had to be cleaned with something.  When he had reached the operator and asked to speak to someone in management he had automatically been transferred to James. 

"Hi, you must be Ben Short.  I'm James Karaway."  Ben was yanked out of his reverie by the booming male voice.  He looked into the smiling face of a big, middle-aged,  grizzly bear of a man.  Mr. Karaway held out a beefy hand to Ben and winked.  They shook hands, and Ben tried not to wince as the older man crushed his fingers.  When the ruffian finally let go, Ben chanced a glance at his hand, almost expecting it to look like squished play-doh.   

"Come into my office.  I've been anxiously awaiting your arrival!"  James said cheerfully as he led the younger man down a short hallway into a large, airy and very masculine room.  Ben pulled his cart of supplies in behind him and then stepped aside as James walked in, closed the door and leaned nonchalantly against it. 

He certainly doesn't act like a businessman.  Ben thought to himself as he appraised the older man.  James didn't look like he belonged in an office at all.  If anything, he could have been a great Santa Clause, except for the fact that he didn't seem to have much fat on him.  He was stocky, but it was obviously pure muscle.  In fact, he would've been pretty frightening if it wasn't for the friendly face.

"So what do you have for me today?"  James asked curiously as he watched Ben pick up a couple items that had tumbled off the cart. 

"Um, well.  What are your needs currently?"  Ben asked, unsure of what kind of cleaning operation they already had.

"That's a very dangerous question.  I'm not sure you want to know what I really need."  James said cryptically as he stepped closer to Ben and laid a warm hand on the younger man's shoulder. 

What the hell?!!  Is this guy actually hitting on me?  Ben wondered frantically as he took a step backward to break the physical connection.  James let him go, not trying in any way to restrain him, but his expression made it clear that he was wounded by the cold reaction.

"I'm not sure you understand why I'm here.  I came to sell mops and brooms and floor polish.  Nothing else!"  Ben stressed firmly.

"I'm sorry if I offended you.  I'm afraid I'm just a lonely old man who is always looking for company.  When I talked to you this morning you sounded so nervous and confused that I wanted to cheer you up.  I could tell just from your voice that you were cute.  When I saw your face it just confirmed all my suspicions.  You are definitely my type."  James explained simply.  Ben could barely believe his ears.  He had never heard a grown man be so honest and vulnerable before, and certainly hadn't expected to hear it from this giant hulk.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not like that.  I don't swing that way."  The words rushed out of Ben's mouth before he had a chance to really examine them.  He immediately felt bad, after all, he didn't mean to offend the gentle giant before him.  He thought for a moment and then tried to rectify his mistake.  "What I meant to say is that I think it's great that you are so open about your alternative lifestyle, but personally, I'm not gay at all."

It surprised Ben when James burst into laughter.  "Strictly speaking, I'm not gay either.  I simply believe that relationships should be based on compatibility and love, not on whether you were born with a penis or a vagina."  Ben blushed deeply as he heard the words penis and vagina spoken so casually.  This was not the kind of conversation he had expected to have here!

"I agree with you in theory, but I'm not sure you can change who you are naturally attracted to."  Ben argued, uncomfortable with this whole situation but unable to simply walk away.  This was certainly weird, but it was the most interesting and unexpected thing that had happened to him since taking this crappy job.

"Exactly!  You can't help who you are attracted to...and it doesn't matter what sex that person happens to be.  If most people were totally honest with themselves, they would see that they have been attracted to the same sex at times.  They just ignore it or hide it because it's socially unacceptable."  James exclaimed. 

"I don't know.  I'm still not sure I agree.  I don't think I could ever kiss a man and enjoy it.  It just seems weird and unnatural to me."  Ben argued as he took a seat in one of the red leather chairs spaced throughout the office.

"Are you trying to convince yourself or me?  Have you actually ever kissed another guy?  If not, how do you know what you would feel?  It seems to me that you are jumping to conclusions with no experience to back them up." 

"No, I've never actually kissed a guy, but that's because I've never wanted to!  Why should I try something out when I know I won't like it?" 

"Hmmmm, let's see shall we?"  While Ben had been planning his next argument, he had failed to notice that James had moved much closer.  Now the older man was standing directly in front of Ben's chair.  James held out his hand and for some reason, Ben obediently took it.  As the salesman was lifted to his feet, he wondered briefly if he had lost his mind.  What was he doing here with this strange, but oddly magnetic man? 

Once they were both on their feet and separated by only a few inches, James gently lifted Ben's chin with a long, thick finger.  As their eyes met, Ben noticed both desire and affection in the older man's gaze.  The warmth between the two men was so genuine and honest that it felt like a warm winter quilt was enveloping them, separating them from everything else in the world.  Ben stared transfixed as the gentle, kind face before him grew nearer.  He stopped breathing from sheer anticipation seconds before their lips touched.

The feeling was like nothing Ben had ever imagined before.  The touch started off soft, so soft that it felt like a goodnight lullaby, soothing in it's innocence and beauty.  The caress was so non-threatening that Ben relaxed and leaned into the embrace.  He felt strong arms wrap around him, shielding him from all the harsh judgements that were resounding within his own mind.  As the kiss deepened and grew more passionate, Ben was unable to hide the excitement and pleasure that engulfed him.  He gave up worrying about his image or about his reputation and focused solely upon the new sensations careening through him at that moment. 

When James finally lifted his head and gazed curiously into the younger man's eyes, Ben quickly looked away, trying to hide the embarrassment he felt as he faced the truth.  He had never felt this way before, but was nervous about admitting it to himself, let alone anyone else.  There was something different about this gentle giant that drew him, made him want to open up and try new things, things he once would have scoffed at in disgust. 

After awhile, Ben finally found the courage to lift his head and meet the knowing eyes awaiting him.  He gave a tentative smile and bit his lower lip in anxiety, unsure of what would happen now.  The other man's kiss had clearly made his point.  There was no further argument that would stand against the overwhelming evidence before them. 

James smiled wryly and ruffled the tousled hair of the young man before him.  "Don't feel foolish.  This sudden attraction surprised me too.  When it's right, it's right.  It just can't be helped." 

"But I was so sure I was straight!  Now you've gone and completely destroyed my sexual identity.  I'm going to need intensive therapy."  Ben pouted, attempting to lighten the mood.

"Well, you can always look on the bright side.  At least you sold something today.  I simply couldn't resist such a persuasive sales pitch." 

"But I wasn't trying to sell myself!"  Ben retorted.

"Maybe not, but everything about you draws me in and begs me to seal the deal and make you mine.  To be brutally honest, I'm not very good at denying myself something I want, and I've never wanted anything like I want you."  With those final words, James chuckled softly and drew the salesman into an even tighter embrace.  As Ben settled into the warm embrace, his doubts and fears slowly began to subside.  There was no room left for shame or condemnation here.  In these arms, between these two searching hearts, only love and affection could ever take root.           

 







Still very much in progress.  Any comments or suggestions on this first bit are more than welcome though!