Find A Way Ch. 6

Six.

My parents had no problem with me sleeping over at Matisse's just like I knew they wouldn't.  My mother thought I was having a hard time with the Connor situation and wanted me to 'get back in with my girl friends so I wasn't relying on him so much for company'.  I held back a snort and nodded my head, giving her a very fake smile in acknowledgment at the lecture.  As soon as she was finished, I went back upstairs to get my things ready.  At eight, my dad gave me a ride over to her house, eyeing me strangely the whole way there.  I was very thankful that my dad wasn't at all like my mom in that aspect.  He didn't say a single word to me in the car, but I knew he wanted to.  Luckily, I was able to muster up a very believable smile and tell him how happy I was to be hanging with Matisse again before exiting the car to a see very relieved smile on his face.

My dad was too easy.

Her parents were out for the night to a dinner party her fathers work was having at some resort and casino, so there was a good chance they'd be staying at the hotel overnight.  Her parents party habits were similar to a teenagers, only they were smart enough to not drink and drive.

We got ready in record time.  I threw on my dark skinny jeans, a pretty blue blouse and my favorite pair of Targét stilettos that made me tower over Matisse before she put hers on.  Fifteen minutes later we were both ready and out the door, climbing in the back of her older brothers car as he eyed us both annoyed for making him take us all the way out to 'East Bumfuck' for this shindig.  He dropped us off and sped away eagerly, squealing the tires thankful to be rid of us.

We stood outside Tommy Patterson's house for twenty minutes, shivering in the forty degree weather, waiting for Kaitlyn, Marley and Jenna to arrive.  I'd been pacing around the driveway, trying to keep warm, while Matisse played text-tag with Marley about how much longer they were going to be.

"She said they're on their way now,"  Matisse chattered.

Fucking finally.

This was the reason I refused to ride with them.  Marley Jones was the slowest person I knew.  No matter what she was doing, it always took her an extra forty-five minutes after everyone else was finished, and never once took into consideration that other people always waited on her.  In all the years I'd been friends with these girls, I've never been mistaken for a patient person when it came to her, which was one of the  reasons I very rarely hung out with Marley, anyway.  That and she's a stuck up, two faced bitch.  But for reasons unknown the me, her and Matisse were best friends.

I continued to pace back and forth and Matisse noticed the look of annoyance on my face.  "Do you wanna go inside and wait for them?"

I turned my head around to look at the ridiculously ostentatious mansion behind me, cringing at the idea of being stuck in there by myself, knowing Matisse would run off to chat with the first hot guy she made eye contact with.  I shook my head, "No, it's alright.  I can wait."  I wrapped my arms around myself and rubbed them through my coat.

She looked at me and rolled her eyes.  "Alright," she muttered.  I was tired of walking, so we sat down on a brick garden path near the end of the drive way for another fifteen minutes before they finally showed up.  I instantly felt myself relax at the sight of them, eagerly wanting to get inside.  I wasn't normally a drinker. In fact, I'd only ever drank once before at Matisse's a few months back.  But after everything that'd happened over the past few weeks, the need to find something with a ridiculous amount of alcohol to gulp down as fast as possible took over me.

Kaitlyn got out the passenger side first with an apologetic look on her face.  She mouthed "I'm sorry" to us as we made our way to them.  Marley hopped out of the drivers side and flipped her seat forward so Jenna could crawl out.

"Skye!" she cried and ran around the car to me with her arms wide open.  Jenna Mahoney was one of those girls that everyone liked.  She was sweet, kind, caring, and very laid back.  Totally my kind of girl.  "Oh my god, I feel like I never see you anymore!  I've missed you so much!"

I hugged her back and smiled, "Yeah, me too.  I'm sorry I haven't been around much lately," I told her honestly.

Kaitlyn came up behind her with a smile on her face and I let go of Jenna so I could give her a hug too.  "We've really missed you.  I'm glad you decided to come tonight!"  she said happily.  I was beginning to remember the good times I'd spend with my girls, the moments we'd spent laughing and talking and being normal teenagers... but then Marley had to go and open her mouth.

"So sorry we're late, dear, I know how much you despise tardiness," Marley said sardonically as she gazed at herself in her compact, freshening her lipstick.  She snapped it shut and gazed up at me with a wry smile.  "So, how's Connor?"

Stupid fucking cunt.

I pressed my lips together, refraining from telling her what was really on my mind.  "Fine," I said through clenched teeth.

She continued to smile at me all holier-than-thou as she walked past me, brushing against my shoulder as she went by.  I turned to gaze at Matisse, who just eyed me apologetically as usual.

We turned and followed behind her up the stone path to the party.  The doors were open and the music blared loudly as we made our way through crowd of people gathered in the front room.  We looked around casually, seeing who was there and what was going on.  As soon as we stopped, I started counting to myself and didn't make it to thirty before Matisse spotted a cute blonde sitting in the corner, flashing her the classic Joey Tribbiani grin.  I rolled my eyes as she sped past me, leaving me with Jenna and Kaitlyn, both of whom were way to shy to leave the comfort of one another.  Marley had already ditched us to go play beer-pong with a group of guys who, I'm pretty sure, were already wasted.

I turned to the two girls that were left, "I'm gonna go get a drink, do you want anything?" I yelled over the music.  They both shook their heads and glanced to a deserted corner of the living room that looked inviting to them.  I smiled and nodded as I made my way into the kitchen looking for any source of alcohol I could find.

I pushed through more people as I made my way inside.  The counter top on the island was filled with more liquor bottles than Amy Winehouse's secret stash.  My lips spread into a wide smile as I grabbed the bottle of Jack, picked up a paper cup, and poured it half full, and added a dash of coke to cut the bitterness.  I inhaled deeply before I took a gulp, trying to ignore the burn that  flowed painfully down my throat.

I glanced around the kitchen and saw most of the people were from my high school but a few I didn't recognize.  Tommy lived in a large farm house on two acres of land right on the boundary of our town and the one next to us, so it was safe to assume he had friends from both.  I made my way around the island into another room where a few guys were chugging a keg., while people around them cheered.  I took another sip of my drink and kept on walking.  I stopped at an empty space at a wall, slipping in between one couple dry humping and the other one fighting about him making out with another girl.  I ignored them both and continued sipping my drink happily.  Before I could even attempt to mingle with the immature drunken teenagers that surrounded me, I knew full well that I needed to be one of them.

I allowed the alcohol to have its effects on me, warming my cold body nicely after waiting outside in the freezing cold for over half an hour.  I finished the rest one gulp and threw my cup down on a table as I made my way around the house again.  My head was spinning nicely now, not to the point to where I couldn't focus, but just enough to make me feel light and tingly.

I walked past Matisse, who was now lip locked with the hot blonde she met not twenty minutes ago.  Marley was still playing beer pong with the drunken boys, while Kaitlyn and Jenna were sitting on the sofa talking to each other eagerly, completely oblivious to the kid who was puking in the potted plant not three feet away from them.  I smiled at my friends, glad that they were, in one way or another, enjoying themselves.

I was going to join Kaitlyn and Jenna on the sofa, in dire need of some good girl conversation, but it suddenly felt like an inferno standing in the middle of the over crowded house.  I turned around and spotted the doors to the back patio and head toward them.  I once again pushed my way through the large crowd of drunk teens, praying I wouldn't get puked on before I made it outside.  With a relieving sigh I reached the handle and pushed the door open, welcoming the cold January breeze across my face.

I took two steps outside and closed the door behind me, blinking hard and breathing in the cool, soothing air, before I noticed I wasn't alone.  I shouldn't have assumed I would be, it was a party for Christ sakes, but it would have been nice to find one place in this house that wasn't overflowing with people.  I opened my eyes slowly and saw not too far ahead was a swimming pool and, at the far end of that, a hot tub.  I was too far away to tell who was inside but there were a few people dumb enough to cannon ball into the pool.  I over heard someone yell that it was heated, but I was sure it couldn't be that warm.

I walked around the brick walk way, watching the backs of the few people inside the hot tub, and I noticed another table full of liquor bottles.  It wasn't as many in the kitchen but I shrugged as I went up to it happily and poured myself one more drink.  Why the fuck not?  I took a warming sip, feeling the temporary relief of the cold air and strong liquor.  I turned around to head back to my friends, when the sound of the most annoying voice I had ever heard in my life stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Connor! Stop it!" the voice giggled playfully.

I froze.  I cringed.  I trembled.  I suppressed the uncontrollable urge to vomit all over the pretty brick ground at my feet.  I couldn't turn around to face it, my body was went immobile.  All I could do was stand there and listen to her squealing.

"Connor!" she giggled again.

I heard him let out a loud sigh before speaking, "I'm not doing anything, Bianca.  Just get off me."

"Aw, but I don't wanna," she whined.  I heard more drunken laughter and splashing around them before I heard someone scream 'cannon ball' followed by another loud splash.

"I don't care if you wanna or not.  You're drunk.  Now get off me."  Connor's voice was serious but at the same time he sounded like he was trying to be nice.  Like he was afraid he might hurt her feelings.

That boy really needed to grow a pair.

She let out another drunken giggle, "Oh, come on Connor!  Don't be such a killjoy.  Just go with it, you know you want me."

The anger flowed through my veins and my body finally unfroze. I slowly turned myself around to face the hot tub.  Of course there were only two people inside now.  Bianca straddled Connor on the side of the tub while all their friends surrounded them taking turns jumping into the pool.  Fucking drunk morons we're gonna get hypothermia.

I saw Connor shake his head, "Bianca, we're both really drunk, you need to get off of me," he said as he tried to push her off, but she clung to him tighter than her shirt did to her tits.  The disgust rose in the throat.  I knew Connor didn't like Bianca.  I knew if he was in his right mind, he wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole.  But the look in his face was different.  It wasn't just drunk, it was blank, empty... emotionless.

"I don't see what the big deal is.  Greg broke up with me, I'm a free woman now.  Free to have. Whoever. I. Want."  As she said this, her lips slowly moved closer to Connor's, and the look on his face made my heart skip a beat.

It was defeat.

He looked at her completely thwarted as she pressed her lips gently onto his at first, maneuvering herself closer into his lap from under the water.  She lifted her body up slightly and pressed herself into him hard, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, pulling his head into her mouth.  I could now taste the bile in my mouth as I stood there watching her eat his face.

And he just sat there.  His arms were limp at his sides, his face seemed stiff, but he didn't push her away, or fight her off or... anything! He just fucking sat there and let her take advantage of him.  And not just his drunkenness, but everything.  Everything he's ever told me and all the things he didn't have to.  All the so called shit he needed time to deal with and figure out.  What he needed me to give him space for... I understood he was upset, but this was stooping to a whole new level of low.

I blinked the tears away and chugged the rest of my drink, throwing the cup on the ground.  I didn't even fucking care anymore.  My chest was burning but it wasn't from the alcohol.  I wanted so badly to just turn and walk away and never look back, but I couldn't.  I couldn't peal my eyes away.  I was officially a masochist.  I couldn't believe he was doing this and it was with her!  Out of all the girls who would willingly be the temporary relief he needed, he chose the one girl he despised out of them all!  The girl who was overly desperate and slutty and was rumored to have fucking herpes!  And the thing that got me most was that she didn't give a flying fuck about him.  All she cared about was getting in his pants, and he was letting her.

After the longest minute of my life she finally lifted her head from his and let out a triumphant squeal before she moved her lips to his neck.  I was thankful, I couldn't see her face, but when she moved I could see his.  And it was completely vacuous.  Like he didn't just care anymore.  He was letting her do what she wanted with him because he had no energy left to give a shit.

I heard myself let out an inadvertent whimper as she moved her face closer to his lips once again, and his eyes finally met mine.  I didn't do it on purpose.  I didn't want him to see me standing there, probably looking sad and pathetic and like my heart had just been ripped from my chest, which it had been, but I still didn't want him to see it.

Without waiting another second, I turned and sprinted back towards the doors, ignoring the taunting from his friends and his voice calling out after me.