Someday's Here

I had worked at Lou-Ellen’s Dairy Bar for 6 years. I’d started when I was 16 and kept on going. I even worked there during a short stint in community college. I found that college wasn’t for me. I was going to be a teacher, but realized how much I actually hated school. I dropped out after 2 semesters.

It wasn’t such a bad life- It was what I knew.

It was the beginning of September in Thayle, MS. Kids were back in school and the weather was just turning tolerable. Our business slowed down and the summer help was gone. Most days it was just me, Lou, and Ellen. On the weekends we had 2 girls that came in to help out- Christy and Tina. They were a couple of sweet high school gals, but their youthful exuberance got on my nerves.

It was a Tuesday morning and I was going through the morning routine of wiping down the counters real good before we got our first customer. I worked 10am-6pm during the week. Most of the time we didn’t have a customer until 11 or 12, when some of the local factories let out for lunch. So the ones that didn’t bring a lunchbox flocked over here. It was the only place to go. To say we were a small town would be an understatement. There was not a traffic light or stop sign. Just a long strip of 2 lane highway with the dairy bar, a school, a few churches, and a gas station…that was it.  If you wanted a bank or grocery store, you’d have to drive 35 minutes to Clarenceville.

I had dirty blonde hair and a body that wouldn’t quit…growing, that is. I was a real looker in high school, but that don’t mean much in the real world, does it?

I guess it’d help if I told you my name.  I was born Delia Jo Tate. Most people call me “Dealy”. I always hated it, but you can’t change what people call you. It just happens sometimes and it sticks. 

Frankly, I debated on writing all this down. What was the point? Would anyone read this? I wanted people to know what it was like for me and why I did the things I did. I have no idea what’s going on out there in the rest of the world, but shit got crazy around here. I thought someone should be documenting it for the future. I don’t know if there’ll be much of a future, but I can hope.

Ok, enough rambling. Get back to the story at hand, Delia!

So I was wiping the counters, when Ellen came up behind me and lit up her first cigarette of the day. I could immediately tell she had something on her mind. I was assuming it was some juicy gossip since that was her favorite pastime…(that and smoking.)

She looked at me expectantly before she spoke, “Honey, did you hear that explosion this morning? Near-about 8:30 or so?”

“Explosion? Ell, what are you talkin’ about?!”

“There was a loud boom this morning and I can’t get the t.v. or the radio to work. I don’t know what the hell happened, but I called up Ronnie and he said he heard it clear over at Cleveland!” (Ronnie was her and Lou’s adult son that she doted on a bit much.)

“Well, Ell, You know I sleep awfully hard. Maybe it was just the Jenkins Factory or old Cox Mill. Maybe one of them had an explosion and that caused some kind of interference.”

I turned this over and over in my head, though, and it didn’t make much sense. However, I felt like I had an obligation to keep her from  running her mouth about this all day.

We went about business as usual. We made a pot of coffee and ate some honey-buns, while we chatted about local flavor.

Ell leaned in, “Hun, Joe Dean is as queer as I’ve ever seen em! I could have swore he looked at Lou’s butt at church the other day.”

I had to stifle laughter. Whoever looked at Lou’s ass would probably regret it later. I couldn’t imagine anyone looking at it on purpose!

“I suspected something when he dated Mary Jo and she told everyone he never even TRIED to have sex with her…He always was a pretty one. It‘s a damn shame.” (Mary Jo was the prom queen. She and I were always competing for boys.)

“Yep, a damn shame, that is…”

It was about 11:35 before our first customer came along. One of the men from Jenkins Factory showed up. He just wanted the burger special. I gave his order to Lou and then came back. I slid the window open… “Sir, you work out at Jenkins, right?”

He laughed, “Sure do…it’ll probably be the death of me.”
“Was there an explosion out there this morning?”

“Naw, can’t say as there was. Lots of people been going home sick, though. Where‘d ya hear about an explosion?”

“Ellen swears she heard a big explosion this morning. I was sound asleep. We were just curious is all.”

“I’ll ask around when I get back to work. Surely, I would’ve heard about it if it was at Jenkins.“

I leaned in. “Well, Ellen would make a scraped knee sound like the second coming of Jesus. I‘m sure it‘s no big deal.”

A few moments of silence passed and Ellen brought over his order. I handed it off with a smile.

“Well, thank ya. Have a nice day. Don’t catch that mess that’s goin around!”

He smiled back and I felt a chill go through my body. I knew something was wrong right then, but you try to just go on with life because that’s just how you deal with things.

The lunch rush came and went. A few people mentioned the explosion, but most were worried about this awful flu that was spreading fast. Lots of people were leaving work early. They had been looking perfectly normal this morning and during the course of the day were looking more and more haggard.

I cleaned up after the lunch crowd while Ell talked about every customer and their problems (or as perceived by her.) She loved to discuss who was sleeping with who and who had gotten fat and ugly. I think it made her life complete. As soon as I’d cleaned up the counters and prep tables in the little building, I went out to the parking lot to pick up stray trash from all around the little picnic tables.  When I was done, I sat down to rest for a bit at one of the benches. The weather was getting pretty nice. I was enjoying the breeze for a matter of moments when I noticed something smelled foul. There was a bitter chemical smell carried on the wind. I was hoping it was just something from the factories but I knew they were miles away. I guess you could say this should have been hint number two that things were awry. In a small town, we had our share of tragedy, but still nothing that effected the whole town or the whole world. Something of that caliber was beyond our imagination.

I zoned out for a bit while I stared out at the field across the road. I watched the breeze blow the weeds and pondered life. I fancied myself a deep-thinker. I wondered what my life would be like if I’d gotten out of this town, and if I’d finished college. But it was a catch-22 because if I lived in the city, I was sure it’d be a rat-race. I wasn’t sure I could truly enjoy a life without moments like these to breathe deep and just think.  I was sure my boyfriend, Eli, would never follow me to the city. He was a mama’s boy I’d met in college. His mama wasn’t ever fond of me, either. I loved him like crazy, though.

A few minutes till 2 p.m., I saw a head over the high weeds bobbing up and down. It was headed my direction. As it got closer, I could tell the person was walking funny and figured they were injured or sick. I hollered for Ellen to come quick.

When she arrived, Ellen just frowned and said, “Well, I’ll be…”

“Should we call for an ambulance or the cops or something?”

“Naw, just go in and get a cup of water for the poor soul. “

I didn’t stop to rationalize. I ran inside and grabbed a glass and filled it with some cool tap water.

By the time I’d gotten back outside, they were almost to the road. Ellen started backing towards the building.

“Ell, what’s wrong?”

Before she could answer, I understood why she was backing up. The smell of feces was wafting across the road, and there was a look of utter derangement in the man’s eye. He looked to be a middle-aged bearded gentleman, but his clothes and face were dirty.

“I think this dern fool’s  rabid or something!” Ellen spouted as she ran inside. “I’m calling Sheriff Helms to come and get him!”

Once he crossed the road, I went straight up to him.

“Sir, do you need some help? What’s wrong?”

He didn’t answer. He just kept slowly stepping closer to me.  I ran around the nearest picnic table to put it between us. He walked right into it. He stumbled, but didn’t fall. Whatever was wrong with this man; he just wasn’t home. He tried to reach out and grab me, but I was able to thwart him easily.

Just then, Ellen came out and grabbed me. She had to pull me inside. I was scared, but still more on the curious side of things. I wasn’t under the impression that I was in mortal danger.

Once inside, she locked the door immediately.

“Oh, Dealy, the line’s busy at the Sheriff’s office. I have a feeling something is terribly wrong here. First the explosion, then the sickness everyone’s getting. Lou said he wasn’t feeling good himself! And now this crazy lunatic’s out there and we can’t even get the police on the phone.”

“Well, did you try 911 or the hospital in Clarenceville?”

“Come to think of it, no. I was a bit panicked so you’ll have to excuse me for not using all my good sense.”

She got up and went to the phone on the wall. I went over to the door and the man was right there, looking in the window. Had he been listening in on our conversation? As soon as he saw me, he starting walking into the door repeatedly and beating on it with his whole body. I screamed, and Ellen dropped the phone. We both backed off into the kitchen.

“I can’t get nothing but dead air now. Not even a dial tone.”

For once in her life, Ellen shut her mouth. And it was at this point, that I started to panic. Everything Ellen had said made sense. Something WAS wrong. My rational brain couldn’t put together what happened but I knew that things were most certainly not normal. I couldn’t even think straight with that man banging his body into the door. I knew it had to hurt him, but he didn’t stop.

Suddenly, I could think of nothing more than getting home to Eli. He wasn’t a big, macho man or anything, but I felt like if I was at home and in his arms right now, I’d be safe.

Lou stumbled out of the storage room finally.

“What is going ON out here? I’m trying to rest my eyes and…”

He stopped talking and followed our gazes to the front door.  He grabbed a big old metal pipe from the kitchen and headed out the back door.  We didn’t even have a chance to stop him. He’d assessed the situation in moments and realized this man was a threat, and he was going to do something about it. I assumed that he intended to sneak up on the man. We held on to each other while we waited to see what happened. All we could hear was the banging against the door and each other breathing heavily. We finally heard a “cachunk” of the metal hitting the man. I sighed and hugged Ellen, but then we heard some struggling and Lou screaming.

Then, it grew quiet.  Neither of us said a word, but just looked at each other with fear and apprehension growing steadily…

Ellen edged over to the phone. She hung it up and then held it up to her ear as if it was magically going to start working. She started sobbing uncontrollably. I just held her tight and tried to calm her. Keeping her calm was the only thing I could do to keep myself sane.

I started worrying that we were next. I looked around for possible weapons. There was a broom and a mop. There were also large canned goods in the storage room.  I handed the mop to Ellen. I lined up the canned goods on the counter. (Just in case! 5 lb. cans of special sauce MIGHT just come in handy.) I grabbed the broom and looked at Ellen, who was coming apart at the seams.

“Honey, I’m going to go out and check on Lou. There’s a chance he’s out there, needing help. You use that mop if that thing gets in here, okay?”

She just nodded. (True tragedy struck her dumb! I would normally be rejoicing in this, but now was not the time…)

I followed Lou’s lead and went out the back door, hoping for a sneaking-advantage. I went around the left side of the building and immediately saw Lou’s body on the ground. I had to cover my mouth to keep from screaming, and further alarming Ellen. I needed her to remain calm since that thing was still out here somewhere. As I edged closer to the body, I was horrified to find that he’d been completely disemboweled.

I choked down the bile and fear bubbling up in my throat and kept creeping toward the front. I stayed close to the building, hoping for what little cover it would provide. I didn’t spot him.

I noticed that there was a steady stream of cars going by, so I headed out to the road and tried to flag them down. Not only did no one stop, but they usually sped up! My hollering had gotten old creepy-beard’s attention. He stumbled out of the tall grass across the road and headed back towards me I backed away with my broomstick at the ready. When he finally made his way to my side, he made a lunge at me. I just lay into him. I beat the fire out of him. I beat his head at least a dozen times, and then worked my way down. He didn’t act injured, just slowed him down (even further!).

I decided to go back to hitting his head, and that backed him up into the road.  Before I could even process what was happening, a rusty, old Ford pick-up had mowed him down. It came to a halt just as the body went flying back onto the other side of the road, into the weeds.

The man jumped out and looked at me…

“IT WAS ONE OF THEM, WASN’T IT?”

I just looked at him, perplexed.

“I guess I just saved your life, then! Have you not heard about what’s going on? You need to be at home barricaded in…Say, have you really not heard?”

“Heard what?”

“Shit-fire, woman! There was a bomb dropped on Memphis, from what I heard.  Don’t know if it’s enemy combatants or whatnot, but I do know that the fallout is causing this here sickness. I don’t know how widespread it is, but these little buggers get sick and go crazy! Watch out for ‘em”

I tried to breathe and not let the panic take over again. “Are…you sure? That sounds crazy. I hope my family is okay. Seems like they would have come check up on me.”

“Sweetheart, it’s chaos and panic throughout the whole area. I’d go home and barricade myself in and worry about that later. It’s spreading pretty fast, whatever it is. I’m heading to Clarenceville to try my luck there. You want a ride over there?”

I contemplated it. My parents’ house was on the way…

“Nah, I’m going to follow your advice, though. I’m going to grab my boss and head home and barricade us up in until this whole thing blows over. “

I secretly hoped, as he drove away, that my boyfriend had somehow made it home, safe and sound. I headed back inside, and told Ellen what I’d heard from the man.

She looked at me like I had a second head growing out of my neck. “Where’s Lou? Is he okay?!”

I hesitated. “Oh honey, no he isn’t.” I didn’t give her the gory details.

I let her sob it out for a few minutes. Then I told her my idea about coming to the house with me. She flat-out refused.

“Please, Ell, you’d be safer with me than being by yourself here or at your house.”

“Nuh-uh. I feel safer here. I need to do something with Lou and…” She broke down and cried and suddenly she just turned on me and started screaming a bunch of unintelligible stuff about Lou and the business and the whole world ending. I grabbed her and told her to calm down. She screamed in my face- “Calm down? The end is coming and people are crazy and you tell me to CALM DOWN?!” She looked positively rabid, so I just hauled off and slapped her. She just sat down immediately and looked away from me, in shock.

“I’m sorry. You’re not gonna help either one of us if you go into a panic. You know I love you, Ell. I just want to protect you…”

She gave me a look of contempt. I continued, “I’m going to bring Lou’s body in and put it in the freezer so it won’t be messed with…Please reconsider coming with me.”

So I dragged his body in and locked him in the freezer. I hoped that she wouldn’t get curious and look at it. She still sat at the prep table, staring off into space.

I touched her on the shoulder. “Ell, are you going to stay or go?”

“Dealy, I love you. I love this old place. If things are going to end, they might as well end here. I gotta stay and say goodbye to Lou in my own way. It just has to be this way…”

I hugged her and we said our goodbyes and good-lucks. I also recommended she dig out some old boards and tools and board up the place and lock herself in for the time-being. She agreed to at least look for the supplies…

I got into my car and headed towards the apartment. The whole way, I was anxious to see Eli (my boyfriend). I thought about how safe I would feel in his arms. He could protect me. He would know what to do. He had always been my rock. We’d met in college and been inseparable since then.

The whole way home, I knew it was as bad as we’d thought. Earlier there’d been an influx of traffic. (Apparently, they thought there was an escape from the apocalypse.)  Now, there was nothing on the road but me. I didn’t see a single sign of life on the roadside, either.

When I pulled up at the apartment building, it looked like a ghost town. I expected a tumbleweed to roll through. I got out cautiously. The first thing I noticed was that Ms. Jackson’s windows were boarded up. There were a few cars in the parking lot (including Eli‘s), but it certainly looked like no one was home. I ran over to his car and peeked in. As my gaze widened, I saw him. He was laying underneath the car with the bottom half of his body hanging out. 

I dropped down on my knees. I was too devastated and shocked to cry. HE had been my plan. Now what was to become of me? I pictured his charming and toothy smile, and that’s when the tears came. Silently, they streamed down my face. I thought about all the times he’d held me and I’d taken those moments for granted. Now I needed those arms more than anything.

Just as I was about ready to stand up and try to decide where to go from here, his arm shot out from the underside of the car and grabbed my jeans. He pulled himself up, and I saw that his head was bloody. He was sweaty and stank something awful. In moments, I knew he was sick.

“Honey,” I sobbed, “Please tell me you’re okay…say something.”

He blinked and stumbled into me. I backed up. I waited for him to say something, anything; but he didn’t.  He kept coming towards me. I ran inside.

I sat down on the couch. I debated what to do. I couldn’t just leave him out there. I didn’t want him near me, though. I was terrified, but I still loved him and was clinging to some hope that something could bring him back to me. 

I gathered myself into a sufficient calm and went outside. I managed to shove him into the apartment. I kept shoving until I had him in the bathroom. I closed the door.

He hadn’t actually tried to attack me, yet. I thought that maybe there was enough of him left inside there to hold something of our love. I knew that might not be true, but thinking it kept me going. 
I decided to bathe him, but that proved disastrous. Getting the clothes off, and shoving him into the tub went pretty smooth, but the source of the smell was his underwear, and it wasn’t pretty. I used loofa to scrub him. I thought for a moment he was looking at me lovingly when I was scrubbing his chest. I realized quickly that the look actually was him thinking about a snack. He grabbed my arm and tried to bite it. I managed to get it away from him.

I ran out of the bathroom, crying. I laid on the bed and sobbed. I found that I was exhausted. I wondered if this was some bad dream I might wake up from. I couldn’t help but think that my family must be sick or dead. There was no way in hell my daddy would have done anything besides make sure I was safe, before even worry about his own safety.

I knew at this point that I’d have to kill Eli. I felt now that he wouldn’t magically “get better.” Once I stopped crying, I felt feverish. Maybe it was my imagination. I had no way of knowing if I was getting sick or not.

I fell asleep. It only felt like a few moments but I’d lost all sense of time.
When I woke up, everything seemed clear. I went to the closet and dug out the Wal-mart bag with Eli’s revolver and some ammo. He’d only gotten it about two months prior. He took me out to his grandfather’s field to try it out. I’d never even touched a real gun before that day.

Thinking about that day made me both sad and happy. I remembered how much fun we’d had. We’d shot at some old Mountain Dew cans. I think I only actually hit mine once or twice, but I was absolutely giddy about it. Holding a gun made you feel a certain kind of power that you couldn’t get from anything else. As a small-town girl, it made me feel 10 feet tall to shoot a silly old soda can.

On the way home, he’d laughed at how excitedly I was talking about the whole experience. He’d said, “Well, it’s a skill you may need someday…” Oh boy did someday ever come sooner than I’d expected!

I loaded the gun, and I turned off the safety. I then put off  doing it. I decided then, that I’d write everything down. Maybe someone would read it someday. Maybe if any of my family survived, they would know what happened to us, at least.

I went into the bathroom with the gun. He was still in the bathtub, but he’d pulled the shower curtain down on top of himself. It looked like there was a bite in it! I laughed as the thought of him still being a hungry fool crossed my mind. I sat down in the floor beside the tub. I lovingly touched his hand.

“I love you. Since the day that you came up to me on campus to ask where the cafeteria was…When you smiled, I knew.”

I cried…”And now…this…”

I raised my shaking hand and pulled the trigger two or three times. I shot him right in the head. There wasn’t going to be a do-over. He slumped over and his eyes glazed over.

Now it’s my turn.

I know that some people say it’s that suicide is cowardly. In this situation, I think I’m taking the brave way out. I could wait and see….possibly die at the hands of monsters. Help might come, but I don’t see the point. There is nothing left for me.

Everyone dies someday. Facing death is brave. Anyone who says different has obviously not been there…

Well, I think that’s about it.

I gotta go. Someday’s here.