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Rated: 13+ · Short Story · Family · #1595622
Getting old can be funny
An elderly couple, Gramma Gloria and Grampa Phil were sitting in their cozy little home watching TV one day. It was funny to watch them as they did so. Gramma would control the remote on the TV. There was not a commercial that got by her. Grampa was trying to write another story on his laptop but couldn’t find his glasses again.
“Damnit somebody stole my glasses.” Grampa would say.
“Why don’t you look in the last place where you had them. You do that all the time.” Gramma would say.
It was apparent that they both were beginning to notice that they were starting to forget many little things around the house. They were becoming afraid that this could very dangerous, as one of them may accidentally forget to turn off the stove and thus cause a fire or even worse…
One day they decided to go see their physician to get some help before it got any worse. Their physician told them that this is common that many people their age find it useful to write themselves little notes as reminders.
“Jeez this guy is a real genius! How freakin old does he think we are anyway. Grampa thought.
“I could do that easily enough heck I am a writer.”  Grampa boasted and grinned knowing damn good and well he wouldn’t do it. Grampa thinks his mind is as sharp as a tack.
“I can tell you right now that your writing will not help us any at all.” Gramma said.
“Why is that?” Grampa questioned.
“Cause you can’t remember the titles of what you write half the time.” Gramma snapped.
“I hate to rush you fine folks, but I have other patients to see so why don’t you just give it a try and see if that helps.” The physician said as he led Gramma and Grampa to the door. “Let me know how it works.” He added as he called his next patient.
Grampa thought this sounded wonderful, Gramma was not all that sure. They left the doctor’s office very pleased with the advice.
When they got home, Gramma asked, "Dear, will you please go into the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? And why don’t you write that down so you don’t forget? Like the doctor said."
"Nonsense I am not writing everything down. You said it wouldn’t work anyway," said Grampa, " I can remember a dish of ice cream for crying out loud!"
"Well," said Gramma, "Oh yeah, I’d also like some strawberries on it. You better write that down, I’m tellin ya, because I know you’ll forget."
"Don’t be silly," replied Grampa. "A dish of ice cream and some strawberries. I can remember that!" "OK, dear, but I’d like you to put some whipped cream on top. Now you’d really better write this down. You’ll forget," stated Gramma.
"Come on now, my memory’s not all that bad jeez give me some credit for crying out loud," Grampa said. "No problem a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream on top."
Grampa turned back to the kitchen closed the door behind him he mumbled. ‘I know she is trying to confuse me. This ain’t no freakin restaurant.’
Gramma could hear him getting out pots and pans, and making some noise inconsistent with preparing a dish of ice cream, strawberries, and whipped cream.
Grampa emerged from the kitchen about 15 minutes later. Walking over to his dear wife, he presented her with a plate of bacon and eggs.
Gramma took one look at the plate, glanced up at her husband and said, "Hey, where’s my toast?"
Grampa headed back to the kitchen and Gramma once again could hear the rattling of pots and pans damn sure not the sound constant with the making of toast. Gramma thought. I know he is going to leave a mess for me to clean up he always does.
About ten minutes later Grampa came dashing back to the living room where Gramma was patiently waiting for her toast.
“Did you want fresh strawberries or frozen?” Grampa asked.
“All I want is some toast honey Jeez.” Gramma said.
“When did you change your mind you fool I have been getting your berries for your buns and I had to whip up some cream.” Grampa said rather confused and frustrated.
“Oh forget it I will get it myself.” Gramma said as she got up out of the recliner.
“I will have the same thing your having then.” Grampa said as he lay down on the sofa and turned the volume down on the TV.
It must have been an hour or so when Gramma reappeared into the living room. “Did you want gravy with your Turkey?” Gramma asked.
“What turkey we have no freakin turkey.” Grampa questioned.
“Oh I went to the store and bought it already prepared.” Gramma said.
“Whatever!” Grampa mumbled under his breath. “Ya should have wrote it down.”
Gramma turned and went back into the kitchen.
About ten minutes later she came out with a piece of peach cobbler and handed it to Grampa “I hope this is the way you like it?” Gramma said.
Oh that is just what I wanted… Grampa said with a slight grin on his face.
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