Dual Military Couples

So long as we both shall serve

Less than a year after LTC William Wynns’ return
from Afghanistan, his wife, CPT Dianna Wynns,
is readying for deployment to Iraq. While she’s
away, he will have double duty on the homefront—
taking care of their three children as well as performing his job as a Deputy Human Resource Officer.

Welcome to life as a dual-military couple. It’s a demanding
lifestyle, but one with unique rewards and benefits.

What gets the Wynns, and couples like them, through
the challenges and sacrifices that come with being a
two-Soldier household?

“We both know each other’s military situation,”
Dianna said.

Her husband agrees. “The best thing is: We both
understand the requirements.”

Each partner has an intimate knowledge of what the
other is experiencing during deployment and a shared
understanding of the Guard.

It’s a bond found among other double-duty couples.

Meeting of the Minds
“This has been the best relationship I have ever been in
because we’re both in the Guard and know what is expected of one another at work,” WO1 Tina Price told Foundations. Price’s fiancé, OC Gary Francisco, likes that there is little need to explain anything military related.

“We have a shared mental state,” he said.

MAJ Brian Bobo and his wife, CPT Teresa Bobo, met in the military. Both believe mutual understanding is key to their
relationship. “We can help each other and share the additional bond of being Soldiers as well as spouses,” said MAJ Bobo.

This understanding became stronger during Bobo’s deployment to Iraq. “We talked every day on my lunch break [his bedtime], and every night [his morning] he would call to tuck me in,” Bobo said. “Some people say that’s too much, but that’s what made us happy, and that’s what we both needed,” she added.

Inspiration to Serve
For many of these couples, the strength to handle being
double service members lies in what inspired them to serve
their country.

The Wynns both had Family members who served. “My
father was in the Guard, and I wanted to continue that
tradition,” Dianna said.

SGT Amy Parker always wanted to be in the military.
Meanwhile, her other half, SFC Joseph Parker, found that
“in the Guard, there is so much more that the Soldiers bring
to the table.”

Others volunteered because of the job opportunities
and benefits, or to complete their service obligation. CPT
Bobbie Mayes signed up because, “My brother told me it
was like band camp!” In addition to that, she discovered
that the Guard would pay for law school.

Mayes’ husband, CPT Jacob Mayes, had a similar reason
for joining—tuition for college. However, he encountered
two great mentors who pushed him toward military success. “The Guard came to be a big part of me … and I decided to become an officer.”

Separation Anxiety
A common hardship among dualmilitary couples is time away from each other and their Families due to separations.
The reasons vary—deployments, drills, temporary duties, training, schooling—but the outcome is the same: One leaves, the other stays behind.

“It is tough … not only are you a spouse without your partner … but you are also a Soldier with all the responsibilities you already had,” said CPT Tijuana
Cookston, whose husband, CWO Chad Cookston, served in
Afghanistan from April 2005 to July 2006.

When LTC Wynns deployed for a year, his wife also faced
some stressful events. She learned she was pregnant, she
moved twice, her mother was hospitalized and her fatherin-
law passed away.

Yet, Dianna found a silver lining. “I have the world’s greatest
mother-in-law … and I’m also blessed with great friends.”

She also got through the separation by having a set routine and sticking with it as much as possible. “It made things at
home seem more normal,” she shared.

Soldiers often become temporary single parents.

“I had to pick and choose parenting battles like bed times and chores,” said WO1 Charlene Ricketts, wife of SSG
Cary Ricketts.

“I tell everyone, ‘I take a lot of vitamins just to keep up with the demands of work, kids, social activities and housework!’” said SGT Parker, whose husband is serving in Afghanistan.

Sacrifice
In conjunction with separation comes the fact that these
couples and their Families have to sacrifice certain aspects
of their lives in order to complete their missions.

“We have often missed birthdays, anniversaries and
special events due to deployment or temporary duty,” said
CW4 Tracy Webb and 1SG Diane Webb.

SPC Felicia Lovings and her husband, SPC Gary Harris, disagreed on his transitioning to active duty due to her current career. “I have a full-time federal job with the Guard that would not allow me to transfer to another state.” Harris
kept his part-time Guard status in order to allow Lovings to
maintain her position.

Rewards
But even with separation and sacrifice, there are upsides
to being doubly “married” to the military. Many of the
couples said that although they are “Soldier first, spouse
second,” there are benefits.

“I love that we can understand each other so well with
the military jargon,” CPT Bobo said.

“It is an amazing feeling to have someone in my corner
who understands my sacrifices, doesn’t hold them against
me and believes I deserve to be at the top,” 1SG Diane Webb stated.

“The Guard has been great to both of us,” LTC William
Wynns said. “We are paid well and enjoy a good life due to
our service.”

SGT Parker loves “watching my children learn pride in
their country, pride in their mom and dad.”

Advice
When asked if these Soldiers have any advice for fellow
dual-Guard couples, their collective voice answered: Spend
as much time together as possible; know each other’s goals; keep work and home separate; support each other; and celebrate the small victories.

Or, as the Ricketts said, “Savor that you share a love for
your country and each other.”

For better or for worse, these dual-military couples do love
both their country and their partners—so much that they’re
willing to work through whatever may come their way.