The Crazy Adventures of Addie Black I

I walked through the old front door that had been the main entrance to this wonderfully crumbling abode since before I was born. It was old, it was creepy,and it was the big old house on top of the street that kids insisted on trying to break into on Halloween. They never made it to this door. Sam made sure of that.

No one gets past the property line without Samantha’s clearance. The huge pitch-black dog had the appearance of a hell hound to those who are stupid enough to believe in such things. But to others she was just one hell of a scary-ass creature. I chuckled a little under my frozen breath. Black lab my ass. Sam was more of a 3 way mix between a Tasmanian devil, a Saint Bernard, and a werewolf.

I slammed the door and woke a teenage boy that must have been 6’ 6”. “T! Get your soon to be booted ass down here!” Within seconds my younger cousin was standing front and center. “Who is that? Why was he asleep on the couch?” I questioned. “Uh, well this is Jake… and he needed a place to stay so I told him he could hang with me for a little bit. Addie, what’s up? You said that I could have people stay over whenever, didn’t you?” T asked with a semi-confused expression.

“Yes, I said that to an extent. You, my dear, have very selective hearing. I also said that you can have people stay over whenever you please as long as you call me and tell me in advance. I do not appreciate coming home to a six and a half foot tall guy asleep on my couch.” I explained. “I’m six foot five and at times I’m asleep on your couch.” T said with a fake concerned expression.

With a glare, I walked into the kitchen. “Where are you going? Are you just going to ignore Jake?” T asked. “That was the plan.” I said while opening a can of Mountain Dew. I was going to need a little extra caffeine to put on the show. Dad was coming up for the weekend and bringing some guy who works with him. That means I would have to be very energetic and crazy. It typically works. First impressions are crucial and this guy met my dad first, so I have more than a little bit to work past.

I would also have to explain why the hell Jake was here. Did I really know why he was here? No, but that doesn’t mean dad will leave me be about it. I would have to devise a brilliant lie to tell him about why he was here. “Fun” I muttered. I have to be crazy, carefree, and lie. Fan-freaking-tastic.

“Hey, when’s Uncle Collin getting here?” T yelled from the living room. He would rather yell then walk under ten feet. I’m not one to complain though, seeing as I would yell back. “Around five is what he told me but you know dad, he is never on time. Always an hour early or an hour late.” I walked around through the back hall and into the living room. “Damn, what’s wrong with this Mountain Dew?” I half yelled. “We haven’t bought Mountain Dew for over a year. That’s really old.” T answered as I ran for the front door and sprayed Mountain Dew, unintentionally, in my father’s face. I didn’t notice the clearly Italian man standing behind him trying to refrain from laughing.

“Addie, what is on my face?” My dad asked with a deadly glare. “Uh, well you see… it’s all T’s fault…” I stalled. “Addie!” His voice was sharp and quick. “Year old Mountain Dew.” I answered. His glare changed from pissed to a surprised pissed. I took the moment to retreat. I darted over to my laptop. I threw it open and put on some music. The music drew Jamie out and we start the normal improv comedy act. We were flying off railings and body slamming T. When the music died down we introduced ourselves to Leo, the Italian who worked with my dad.

Jamie seemed to really like him. I wasn’t sure if he noticed though. Jamie looked freakishly like me. We both had small noses, navy blue eyes, plump and lush lips, and slender bodies. The only way to tell the difference was I had black hair and Jamie’s was a light brown. We each wanted the other's hair.

Jamie and I had been best friends since I was about five. She was two years younger than I. Jamie had a way to worry about all the things that didn't need worrying about, such as how long the storm was going to last when we had planned an indoor movie marathon. She never had a care about the things that where fun though. Sending a four-year-old speeding down the street in a wagon headed for a highway? No issue there.

Leo was tall enough, but compared to T and his friend everyone seemed like a midget. His hair was sticky up-y in a strange way that Jamie thought was beautifully sculpted and I thought was from the oil build up that comes with a lack of a shower. He had an overly charismatic smile that compensated for an unimpressive average build.

“Hey, this is by far the strangest scene I’ve woken up to since I fell asleep in Sea World and my parents forgot me. What’s up?” Jake asked. He had been only half awake during this all. In that state where you mix things that are really happening with a dream. God only knows what he thought was happening. “Nothing much, my dad and Leo got here like ten minutes ago. Jamie and I just jumped off of every wall in the house. My dad got old Mountain Dew sprayed in his face. Just the usual.” I responded. Jake was wide eyed and blinked a few times. “That was not what I was expecting.” He responded with a pathetic laugh.

“Where did T go?” I asked. “iahm eahr!” I heard from the kitchen. I ran in there. “T! Dude, don’t shove that much food in your mouth at one time! Never eat more that your fist in one bite, dipshit! Aww, T! Not cool, that’s just the bone. There’s no more steak on that!” I yelled.