Hands

The table was surrounded by people. I couldn't focus on who they were though. He was at the table, just on the other side of some blurry buffoon's head. He hadn't talked to me in months.



I loved him though. Oh how I loved him. The very sight of him makes my heart drop to my stomach and bring tears to my eyes. He'd loved me once too, before he'd said he hadn't meant those words. It had destroyed me. I hadn't seen him in who knows how long, and yet the sight of him brought back everything.



I turned and halfheartedly took part in a conversation with someone. I was barely paying attention when he appeared in front of me. His lips moved as he said with his delicious voice, "Now what would you be doing here?" I looked at, quite in shock that he was there and in more shock that he was talking to me. I couldn't say anything, he shrugged and said, "Well, I'm going upstairs, come with me?" I nodded, and he gave me his hand to get up from the awkward seats. I held it tightly as I felt tears sting at the back of my eyes. He looked at me once I was standing, my hand still in his, and he drew me closer and held my hand tighter.



We walked up the stairs hand in hand, I pursed my lips, trying not to cry. His hand was so smooth, I wanted to run my fingers over his, learn them, learn what they felt like on my body. Why was I thinking like this? We finally reached the top of the stairs and turned into a bedroom shared by he and his friend, though his friend was absent.



He lead me to the bed and I sat down, then he went across the room and took something out of a box, then he came back and sat down beside me. "I know I hurt you. I know I said things I shouldn't have. I know you taking me back won't happen, but I also know, that I did lie to you. I said that I hadn't meant it when I said I loved you, I do love you." The tears burned my eyes until finally no matter how hard I clenched my eyelids shut, the tears were coming down my cheeks and the sobs started. He put his arm around me and pulled himself closer. I sat there, shaking, tears running down my face, not being able to say anything. "I love you." He said again. I looked up into his eyes. Tears were running down his cheeks too. I leaned into him, wrapping my arms around him, sobbing uncontrollably.



I'm not sure how, but we ended up lying down side by side on the bed, my arms wrapped around him, his around me. I pressed my face into his chest. When I finally calmed down, I looked up at him, and just as he kissed my forehead, I said, in almost a whisper, "I love you too." He smiled and pressed his lips against mine. I never thought I'd feel that, after everything that had happened, I'd never thought that I would have his lips against mine, my body against his, but here we were. He looked at me and said again, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.' I cuddled into him more and closed my eyes. I just wanted to forget what had happened, I just wanted this moment to last.



I awoke to his hand being placed in mine. His soft hand. I brought it up to my face and kissed each finger tip. Then I put my hand in his and held it tight.