For Daddy

I see a face in a picture in a frame
My grief already feeling strange;
Like our time is short and we have everything to lose
But how could I have known what the years would prove?

I got older--life got in the way
of living, though it was harder every day
Knowing you were sick, and not knowing what to do
or how to act or what to say or how to make it through

Now instead of a picture, I am seeing my scars--
the old ones from the past, and the fresh ones in my heart
I'm searching high and low, blindly through the pain
Looking for, longing for, needing someone to blame

Jesus, why me?
My world is crumbling
Jesus, why me?
I keep on stumbling
And even though I yell and scream and try to understand
I just can't seem to grasp a bit of your convoluted plan

Now life goes on, no matter what I want.
I hurt. I grieve. But I also know Someone
who can and will help me through the hurt
He will show me who I am and how to seek Him first

Because no matter how or what I fight,
I really am a child of the One who created life
It was His idea to save me, and my idea to sin
But nothing on this earth can separate me from Him

Jesus hold me!
My life is crumbling
Jesus hold me!
I keep on stumbling
And even though I've yelled and screamed, and tried to understand
I still can't grasp a bit of Your perplexing plan

Thank you Jesus
for Your mercy and Your grace
And help me not lose sight of You
in this fearful place

Jesus hold me!
My life is crumbling
Jesus hold me!
I keep on stumbling
And even though I've yelled and screamed, and tried to understand
I know now I may never see the wheres and whys of your plan

I know now I may never see the wheres and whys of your beautiful plan